Gut Rumbles

February 01, 2005

on a dare

I could not stand the bulky commonness of the man. He sat, day after day, at the same wobbly desk penning manuscripts in a tiny, twisted hand that no one ever would read. He was content in his netted monkish delicacy but he disgusted me.

I once felt such hatred for him when he would not speak to me that I kicked his table and knocked all of his precious work on the floor. Nonplussed, he simply straightened the table and bent down to pick up his inks and pens as I listened to the crinkle of his unwashed robes as he, like the stoic he was, sorted through his chromic tools of inks and pens and picked up his work right where he left off.

God, how I hated that man!

(Just use these words in order and write something slightly coherent: bulky commonness netted monkish delicacy crinkle chromic)

Any asshole can do it. I did.


His bulky commoness stood out like a sore thumb.As he turned from the pay-out window,you could almost see his mind reflecting on what the days efforts netted his coffers for
good fortune.His monkish stance nearly cancelled the delicacy of the crinkle of the paper money. As he stood staring at the chromic attributes of the coins in his hand,he decided to give them to another less fortunate gambler.

Posted by: arathorn on February 1, 2005 02:29 PM


Posted by: Acidman on February 1, 2005 02:43 PM

The bulky commonness of his writing offended me; his display of the vulgar and the profane, the way he wrote about his wife, and his children was so disagreeable I was startled.
He was loud, loutish and filled with self-importance. Believe me, there was no netted monkish delicacy in this man's words. One day his writing would crinkle with invective and senseless profanity, the next it would be filled with disgusting self-pity and examples of the worst of chronic grandiosity. He was loathsome, boorish and vain.

Posted by: Theodora on February 1, 2005 02:45 PM

That would be ME, huh?

Stil, a good paragraph.

Posted by: Acidman on February 1, 2005 03:38 PM

What's all this I'm hearing about "monkishness" around here? As if any of you people would know what it's like to be MONKISH!!!
I oughta be getting royalties everytime somebody uses that word.

Posted by: Fr. Matthew K on February 1, 2005 03:48 PM

His ass being extremely bulky, and trying as he might to exude commonness, Michael Moore-on failed miserably. He netted millions on his bogus movies in which he wallowed with abandon, while on the outside trying to maintain his monkish posture.
At the banquet, he devoured every delicacy face first which had been laid before him. You could hear the crinkle of fresh bills in his pockets as he stooped, while the light from the floodlights glinted off the chromic lenses of the implements of his bullshit.

Does that make me an asshole?

Posted by: Dave S. on February 1, 2005 03:49 PM

I see you like the taste of my Velocispam.

Posted by: Key on February 1, 2005 03:51 PM

Mine was too long to post in comments, so I posted it on my little blog. What an interesting exercise.

Posted by: Mamamontezz on February 3, 2005 03:13 PM
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