Gut Rumbles
 

January 17, 2005

i wish i hadn't done it

I fucked up. I bought a bathroom scale and stood on it. I now weigh 132 pounds.

Bejus! That's 40 pounds less than I should weigh. My arms resemble matchsticks. I can see the bones in my legs. I'm wasting away like the poor bastard in Thinner. I'm so weak that if I intended to haul ass, I'd have to make two trips.

I'm not surprised. Yesterday, I ate three french fries. I didn't eat anything for two days before that. My belly just won't handle food anymore. I watch movies where people are enjoying a nice dinner and I wish that I could join them. But food is not entertaining to me anymore. It's a fucking job.

Take a bite. Yeah, I know you don't want it, but take a bite anyway. Now, DON'T THROW UP!!! Let that settle and take another bite. Oh, DAMN!!! You puked. Now you have to start over.

Maybe I've got post-traumatic-stress-disorder.

Comments

132 pounds? I've taken shits bigger'n you, A-man...

Fuck, I haven't weighed 132 pounds since grammar school...

Posted by: Jay G. on January 17, 2005 10:37 AM

You need to get your ass to the doctor and soon. I'm not a doctor, though I do play one from time to time, but this sounds serious.

Posted by: Circa Bellum on January 17, 2005 11:15 AM

I'm 5'9", and my thighs probably weigh 132 lbs.

A 23% weight loss is SERIOUS stuff. What other symptoms? Get thee to a doctor....PRONTO!!!

Posted by: Hap Arnold on January 17, 2005 11:52 AM

Sounds like Revenge of the Ulcer, eh Rob?

Posted by: caltechgirl on January 17, 2005 12:35 PM

What the heck are you waiting for? Get to a doctor as I could not stand to have you not here cussing like an ole-cuss cowboy! Think of your son - go now!

Posted by: Anastasia on January 17, 2005 01:00 PM

You need to eat. Period. Stop this goddamn nonsense and eat some fucking food. If you make it to the Jersey Blogmeet, I will kick you in your skinny ass!


Posted by: Kate on January 17, 2005 01:09 PM

Rob....what's going on? You need to get your shit together, man. Go see a doctor and make some changes to get yourself back into good health. As Anastasia (nice name!) said, think of your kids. They will need your influence to counteract that of your ex-wife. You may not be able to see your son much now but that will change. He's gonna need you as much as you need him.

If there's anything I can do to help, let me know.

Posted by: zonker on January 17, 2005 01:11 PM

Not good. Aren't alarm bells going off?

Posted by: MM on January 17, 2005 01:39 PM

Quit smoking. You'll end up eating like a fucking pig. At least I did.

Posted by: Ralph Gizzip on January 17, 2005 01:41 PM

PLEASE go to the doctor. Your pancreatitis may be (is) affecting your appetite. You are now the weight of a swimsuit model who is six feet tall.

Posted by: Renee on January 17, 2005 02:01 PM

Please see a doctor soon. I have a son who was only diagnosed with acid reflux,after having an endoscopy, but who lost about 30 pounds over the last 6 months due to that and anxiety/dep/etc. It's very scary to watch someone not eat and be in pain all the time.

Please get some doctoring.

Posted by: Kim on January 17, 2005 02:21 PM

As someone who absolutely hates going to a doctor, I'll add to the chorus: GO! This indicates a real problem that'll need fixing.

Posted by: Mark on January 17, 2005 05:07 PM

I've dropped 20 unintended pounds in the last 3 months. Just lost my damned appetite. Now the smallest belt hole won't keep my baggie britches up. I forced myself to start eating what are my favorite foods, almost to the point of revulsion. After a couple of days my appetite's back, more or less. But I don't have pancreatitis. If you can't keep it down that's a problem.

Posted by: Velociman on January 17, 2005 06:12 PM

One of my tits weighs as much as you do.

I think one of us needs to see a physician.

Posted by: Queenie on January 17, 2005 07:23 PM

Queenie, let me chew on your tit. ONE of us will feel better.

Posted by: Acidman on January 17, 2005 08:05 PM

Hey!!! Acidman!!!!!!!

Don't make me drive all the got-dam way from Santa Barbara to drag your sorry ass to the doctor. I'll have to kick your ass up around your ears......get your shit in one sock, or you'll have said shit spread from hell to breakfast!

I don't want to see the bc dancing on your grave.......and a lot of folks do NOT want to see your boy with no dad.

I have a large size can of whup-ass here, and I know how to use it!

Consider yourself warned.

Posted by: wes jackson on January 17, 2005 09:27 PM

OK here goes.... PLEASE buy some ENSURE at any grocery or drugstore. Each can is a complete 'meal' . ENSURE "PLUS" has extra calories.

Posted by: adele on January 18, 2005 01:17 AM

OK here goes.... PLEASE buy some ENSURE at any grocery or drugstore. Each can is a complete 'meal' . ENSURE "PLUS" has extra calories.

Posted by: adele on January 18, 2005 01:21 AM

And now for a different view...

Acidman, you sound like a prime candidate for a medical marijuana prescription. That'll solve the appetite problem. :)

Posted by: Desert Cat on January 18, 2005 02:52 AM

Whatever you've got, bottle it and sell it. It probably has fewer bad side effects than most of what you see advertised for weight loss on TV.

Posted by: McGehee on January 18, 2005 01:37 PM

I suggest the BEER, Mayfield's Banna Pudding Ice Cream and Donut Diet. All joking aside dude, take care of your self. Send me an indignant email sometime!
DB

Posted by: DaneBramage on January 18, 2005 03:38 PM

It just occurred to me, maybe you picked up some sort of parasite in Costa Rica. Better get it checked out.

Posted by: Circa Bellum on January 19, 2005 01:51 PM

I lost 19 pounds in less than 2 weeks when I went through depression and didn't want to eat. A friend pushed me to a therapist who told me that losing weight like that is bad for the heart and could kill me. That didn't sound like a bad option at that point, but I had to think about those who did care for me and how that would hurt them. Get yourself to the grocery store or doctor--especially, if you care about your son and daughter. Also, don't give your former wife the pleasure of seeing you dead. Outlive her so that you can empty a Jack Daniels on her grave--after you drink it.

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