Gut Rumbles

January 13, 2005

he doth protest too much

Read it and you decide. The guy hates SUVs. Period.

#1, I feel that the amount of these vehicles out on the road today constitutes a safety menace, especially given the many inexperienced or incompetent people that are driving them. The statistics from the NHTSA CLEARLY bear out that this is a fact and not just my opinion.

Bullshit. Show me the stats. And if you think "inexperienced and incompetent people" are confined to SUVs, you don't do much driving.

#2, many of the folks driving them range from merely inconsiderate, to rude, to dangerous. Everyone who drives a small car can tell you of experiences of a big vehicle being used as a weapon of intimidation against them. We also really enjoy trying to see around these monsters, not to mention the fact that the height differential puts an SUV's headlights at the same level as our rear-view mirrors which is a real joy at night. I could go on and on here.

A "weapon of intimidation?" Do you have a problem with the size of your penis?

#3, the demand in fuel that these things generate drives up prices that everyone ends up paying, not just the owners. Where the hell do these people get off thinking the rest of us should be penalized for their stupid decisions?

Where do YOU get off calling their decisions "stupid?" Nobody died and made you God, mister. Drive your Yugo and shut up.

#4, If you're using your vehicle to go off-roading on the weekends, or have one to cope with the snow or terrain where you live, or have one because of your work then I have no beef with you so don't get your panties in a twist. If you were the only people buying these things, there would be no issue.

Well, THAT'S mighty understanding of you. Downright compassionate, in fact. But you lie through your teeth. You just don't like SUVs no matter WHO buys them or what they use them for. You have your panties in a twist.

#5, lastly and most of all, I don't respect anybody who spends $25,000+ on a vehicle when they purchase it solely for the purpose of impressing other people with it's size or cost. If that's the only reason you buy an SUV, then you're a fool. You were a fool at the dealership, and you continue to prove that you're a fool every time you fill it with gas.

I don't respect anybody who wants to twist his panties and tell me how I may or may not spend MY OWN GODDAM MONEY. This is the United States of America, Bub. I can buy any kind of car I want and I don't need YOUR permission or approval first. In fact, I might buy one just to chap your ass. You've got a real problem with envy, don't you?

This guy probably voted for Ralph Nader. I don't think I misunderstood his original post at all.


Great. Duh Yup found Acidman. This is gonna be fun to watch.

There are good and bad drivers everywhere. Darwin takes the bad ones driving Yugos, which is as it should be. Don't like SUV's? Don't like how I spend MY money? How about you go fuck yourself, because I don't give two shits what you like. Maybe you should take the link out, acidman, don't give his site any more traffic. Fool.

Posted by: og on January 13, 2005 11:35 AM

I'll get rid of my SUV as soon as someone can point me to a vehicle other than an SUV that can:

1. Seat up to 7 people comfortably.
2. Tow a 5,000# camper.
3. Handle New England winters.

So far, no one's come up with an alternative to an SUV.

Posted by: Jay G. on January 13, 2005 11:42 AM

Don't get nervous, guys!
It is just a blind eyed fake American. Has he never watched our ware faring in Irak to ensure our oil supply? Whimp!

Posted by: John on January 13, 2005 11:43 AM

Well I went over and read, it seems this gentleman is currently living in Charleston SC. Oh fucking joy, another god damn yankee expert on driving so close to home. Hold on here, Mr Expert drives a Saturn and works in the computer world. What is wrong with this picture? Oh well maybe he does like that piece of crap car , that is his choice, but I bet he is one of those assholes that screams down I-26 or 526 at least 20 miles an hour above the speed limit , drinking his mocha and talking on his cell phone. My vehicle of choice is a Dodge 3500 diesel , it doesn't take long to clean Saturns off the rear step bumper.

Posted by: James Old Guy on January 13, 2005 11:54 AM

"it doesn't take long to clean Saturns off the rear step bumper."
James, here's a tip. Use the new C2 coke and some elbow grease. Gets rid of those pesky Saturn stains on the bumper of the wife's Hummer every time! Now, those Hyundai stains...they are a bitch to clean!!

Posted by: Rumbear on January 13, 2005 12:12 PM

What a friggin crybaby! I haven't seen a tantrum like that in years.

Posted by: WarWagon on January 13, 2005 01:05 PM

Heck, I don't like SUVs, either. I'm a pickup gal, and I think most folks who drive SUVs are twits who don't need them.

The difference between me and this guy? I don't seem to expect anyone to care what I think.

I don't much like creamed corn, either, but don't expect my opinion to have any pull. Part of what makes this a wonderful country is our collective instinct to mind our own business.

Lots of things irritate lots of us, but most us learned long ago that we should, with a few exceptions, mind our own business.

Posted by: Abby on January 13, 2005 01:25 PM

I probably shouldn't tell Mr. Potatohead here that my SUV gets better gas mileage and puts out less emissions than my car.

Nah, too much effort, and a simple: "Eff you, you saturn-driving, envious little prick." does the job just as well.

Posted by: Mr. Lion on January 13, 2005 01:59 PM

If I can afford a $50,000 car, I'm not buying a $25,000 Saturn. I like luxury vehicles and I can afford it - someone that can't afford it shouldn't be able to limit what is available for me to purchase.

#1 only accident I've ever been in w/SUV driving is a CAR that rear-ended me.
#2 - yeah, because I never see any small car drivers being rude / dangerous. sure. FYI - I can pull up behind you so that I do or don't blind you with my lights, it depends on whether or not you're driving like a jackass.
#3. - maybe I have an SUV and work from home - doesn't that mean I probably use less gas than that guy?
#4 - nice of you to segment us by your guidelines
#5 - i didn't buy it to impress, i bought it because I like it.

Posted by: VHMPrincess on January 13, 2005 02:23 PM

This guys needs to be served a BIG OLE sip of Shut Up Juice. Who's he to be talking about inexperienced and incompetent. HELLO!!! Pot.Kettle.Black I guarantee there is a Green Peace sticker on that Saturn.

Posted by: Tony on January 13, 2005 03:44 PM

Waaa Waaa they got a big SUV and I can't buy one Waaaaaaa. Pantytwister, take the sand out of your vagina and get over it. I have an F350 Dually long bed with the powerstroke. My wife drives a Ford Excursion (biggest SUV made) with a gas guzzling V-10 (9mpg). I have two gas tanks and my wifes has a massive 44 gallon single tank. Crap I spend more on fuel than a $25k car payment. Most big SUVs are in the high $40's to $50 K range butthead. Why you ask would we make such a choice in vehicles? BECAUSE WE WANT TOO you asshat twit! Last time I looked I live in the UNITED STATES of AMERICA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

PS: Ditto to the comment above never got in a wreck in either. But I used to have a C3500 1-ton PU and a Dodge neon rear ended me. Her insurance company bought me a new bumper (it was bowed in the middle) and then they bought her a new Neon (It was totaled).

Posted by: Brian682 on January 13, 2005 03:46 PM

Is the problem here envy or vanity?
As for the safety statistics- whatsamatter, chief, forget how to google? I haven't. Here's your stats.
"it doesn't take long to clean Saturns off the rear step bumper"- yep, you're a model citizen. We need more of folks just like you on the road. Be proud.
And another thing, I don't drink sissy starbucks drinks, I didn't vote for Nader or Kerry, and I have spent enough time in the 82d Airborne to answer your charge of being a "fake American". Why are you all trying so desperately to paint me as a liberal or environmentalist?
Well, I succeeded in pissing a lot of you off. Mission accomplished. But before you start showing up at the door with your torches and farm implements, you might want to look at this:

Posted by: Lee on January 13, 2005 03:53 PM

Read you everyday and enjoy every word. Also on my daily read list is kim du toit and Dax. I think between those three sites you have an idea of my mental state. Keep up the good work and let me know if you have any more suggestions for daily reads. keep on fishin, shootin, pickin and drinken you lucky don't have to go to work bastard.


Posted by: Brian682 on January 13, 2005 03:54 PM

This guy is so full of shit. Driving around, the worst things I encounter are little shit teenagers in small cars who think they own the road. Little pissant boys who drive 45 through busy parking lots (I see this EVERY DAY) and stupid bitch girls who have one hand and a cellphone permentantly grafted onto their fucking ear who never stop at stop signs because talking about who her friend Mary blew last weekend is more important than, like, driving.

Posted by: Adam Lawson on January 13, 2005 03:56 PM

Why are you all trying so desperately to paint me as a liberal or environmentalist?It might relate to your spewing the same tired anti-ESS-YOU-VEEEEE cliches as liberals and environmentalists who also who find their panties wadded over the automotive choices of other people. Trust me: it's nothing I've not seen prior to now.And, no, you really don't piss me off. You just impress me as being an enviroweenie and, as such, probably run a blog in which I'd have little interest. Nice job trying to get more hits, though.

Posted by: D.J. M.B. on January 13, 2005 05:01 PM

Yawn. Just another anti-SUV screed. Now where did I put my beer?

Posted by: McGehee on January 13, 2005 05:51 PM

This just released:

The National Transportation Safety Board recently

divulged they had covertly funded a project with U.S.

auto makers for the past five years, whereby the auto

makers were installing black boxes in four-wheel drive

pickup trucks in an effort to determine, in fatal

accidents, the circumstances in the last 15 seconds

before the crash.

They were surprised to find in 44 of the 50 states the

last words of the drivers in 61.2 percent of fatal

crashes were, "Oh, SHIT!".

Only the states of Tennessee, Texas, Oklahoma,

Louisiana, Arkansas, Georgia, and Alabama were

different, where in 89.3 percent of the cases the

final words were: "Hold MY BEER, and WATCH THIS."

Posted by: D. in 10 on January 13, 2005 06:29 PM

Lee, the link you provided to "prove" your assumption details only rollover stats. Most people who die or get seriously injured in rollovers are NOT wearing their seatbelts. Darwin in action.

Tell me, would you rather get slammed in the ass (no, no, no, I mean your car) or T-boned in a Hummer or a Saturn? How about if you had your kids in the car?

I'll take the Hummer. You tell God I said, "Hey" and that I will see him in a few years.

Posted by: rightisright on January 13, 2005 06:43 PM

Why spend 50 grand (or however much it is) on a Hummer? Just have someone slap "I"m a status-conscious sucker" sticker on your back.

Don't get me wrong. If y'all WANT to waste your hard-earned money on a Hummer, or a dressed-up pickup truck with extra cup-holders, that's your God-given right. More power to ya.

Posted by: kc on January 13, 2005 11:02 PM

Current vehicles:
1971 Camaro Z28 - cruise night special
1985 Jeep CJ7 - modded for off-roading
1992 Award 27 ft. travel trailer - wanderlust
2002 GMC Sierra Z71 pickup - to haul stuff
2004 Corvette Z06 - just 405 horsepower of fun
Oh yeah, a 2003 Chev Tracker 4wd for the wife
Paying the insurance bills - fucking priceless {:^)

Posted by: Dan Pursel on January 14, 2005 01:08 AM

Aw, c'mon, Lee. Give up. You won't change their minds. Good god, they've got to have something to drive thelr HELLSPAWN around in.

Posted by: Joni on January 14, 2005 02:07 AM

#1. Is he saying that there aren't any inexperienced or incompetent people driving cars, vans or pick-up trucks??

#2. I suppose that drivers of cars, vans or pick-up trucks are NEVER inconsiderate, rude, or dangerous. Also, he apparently has no problem seeing around trucks or vans nor do their headlights shine in his eyes. He called SUV's "weapons". OMG -- we are terrorists now I guess.

#3. If an SUV gets 15 MPG and a pick-up truck gets 10 MPG does that make the driver of the pickup stupid as well??

#4. Who died and made him king of deciding who is gonna drive what type of vehicle and where? And if rules like that were made, wouldn't that like be communism or something? I can see it now --- Before I purchase a vehicle, I have to check with Mr. Small Man Syndrome to see if he approves. ARG!

#5.Does this mean that people who drive Jaguars, Cadillacís, and BMWís are stupid too or is this just limited to SUV Drivers? Ya know what, I paid less for my SUV than many folks paid for their cars or trucks. Plus, my SUV gets better gas mileage than many trucks and vans on the road today.

Summary: This guy is an ASSHAT!!

*i love using that word. especially when it is so damn appropriate*

Posted by: medic mom on January 14, 2005 11:14 AM
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