Gut Rumbles

January 10, 2005

a true story

I don't know what made me remember this incident from my past, but it came back as clear as a bell today. I was 15 years old and working at Chip's Drive-In on Waters Avenue around 1966. Yeah, I was the kid in the paper hat with the apron around his waist standing behind the stainless-steel counter at a burger joint.

I saw a car pull up outside. Out poured (and I do mean POURED) four Jenkins High School cheerleaders. At that point in my life, I believed that these were the most beautiful, sexy wimmen in the world and my palms became sweaty when I saw them.

They came giggling and wiggling and throwing tits and ass at me when they approached my window. "Hey, Robbie!" one yelled. I was flattered that they knew my name. "We're HUNGRY!" I took their order.

They wanted hamburgers, hot dogs, a couple of fish-burgers, some fried chicken, six orders of french fries and four large cokes. I put the order together, bagged it and said, "That'll be $8.29."

Dee-Dee, the head cheerleader, leaned over the counter and gave me one hell of a dose of teenaged cleavage. "Uh, Robbie, sweetheart... can't you just charge us for the cokes and let us walk away with the rest?" She licked her lips sensuously. "I sure would appreciate it."

When I refused to do that, they all walked away and left the entire order on the counter, and they laughed all the way back to their car. They were just seeing what their pussies could get them that day. Wimmen learn that shit from an early age.

I stood there at the counter and looked at all the food they stuck me with. Me in my silly paper hat and my goddam apron. Feeling like a fool. But I knew that I had done the right thing. I wasn't going to cheat my boss, and even if I DID, I damn sure wasn't going to get any pussy from those girls. They were just being young cunts.

I turned around and ran face-to-face into my manager. He saw the whole episode. "You done good, Rob," he said. "Don't ever let the split-tails get the upper hand on you."

I wish I had followed his advice all of my life.


I had the same kind of thing happen to me when working in a convenince store! I did the same thing.

Posted by: Jay on January 10, 2005 07:30 PM

Don't we all wish we had followed your bosses advise for our entire life. Ahhh..but it was fun while we were amongst it wasn;t it?

Posted by: Ronnie on January 10, 2005 09:35 PM

As much as I hate to admit it, many of us do learn it from a young age. Thankfully, some of us think less of such behavior as we get older.

Some of us, anyway.

Posted by: Ally on January 11, 2005 07:34 AM

Why do you think they refer to "down there" as "my business?"

Posted by: Brett on January 11, 2005 08:57 AM

I wish I could shake the hand of the guy who said, "When they're on their backs, the meter is running."
Wise man, that one.

Posted by: maggot on January 11, 2005 01:02 PM
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