January 07, 2005
I get all wet in the pants and itchy around the anus when I hear that somebody is going to interview a blogger. I can't wait to read the interview, because then I'll wonder AGAIN why I wasn't interviewed, I'll get all depressed and I'll write something that suggests that I might have taken a pain pill when I returned home from the basketball game tonight.
I can't help it. It's like seeing a blog-popularity contest and realizing that you aren't even nominated for ANYTHING. Man, that really chaps my ass. I always wanted to be popular, and I always wanted people to love me, but I tend to be a selfish, egotistal, loud-mouthed shitass, and some people can't accept that essential part of me.
Fuck 'em, I say.
Heh. I'd give someone a good interview.
Interview Chick with Her Tits Hanging Out: Mmmmm...MMMMM..uuuhhh...hey?
Acidman: I didn't hear the question. I was lookin' at your tits. Are those things real?
Interview Chick With Tits: Acidman... do you smoke marijuana?
Acidman: Why do you ask? Do you have any?
Chick With Tits: Acidman, have you been drinking?
Acidman Why? You got any?
Interview Tits: You've blogged about your "Bionic Roscoe." Would you like to talk about it now?
Acidman: TALK about it? Hell, baby, I'll SHOW it to you. C'mere and help me with this belt buckle...
Tits: Maybe later... You write a lot about music. How has music affected your life?
Acidman: It got me laid a lot. Speaking of music, I could make beautiful music with you. Could I touch one of them titties?
Intertit: Maybe later. Are you ALWAYS such a skinny old gray-haired letcher?
Acidman: No. I have silver hair and today is a down day. I took some medication that makes me feel really good, so I only fantasize about ripping you shirt off instead of actually doing it. But you could change all that if you'll let me touch one of them BEAUTIFUL titties. Are those things real?
Intit: There you have it!!! Acidman, as told by Acidman!!! (Got-dammit! Get your hand outta there!!) This is Interview Chick, signing out.
(You old bastard! Stop that!!!)
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