Gut Rumbles
 

January 07, 2005

interviews

I get all wet in the pants and itchy around the anus when I hear that somebody is going to interview a blogger. I can't wait to read the interview, because then I'll wonder AGAIN why I wasn't interviewed, I'll get all depressed and I'll write something that suggests that I might have taken a pain pill when I returned home from the basketball game tonight.

I can't help it. It's like seeing a blog-popularity contest and realizing that you aren't even nominated for ANYTHING. Man, that really chaps my ass. I always wanted to be popular, and I always wanted people to love me, but I tend to be a selfish, egotistal, loud-mouthed shitass, and some people can't accept that essential part of me.

Fuck 'em, I say.

Heh. I'd give someone a good interview.

Interview Chick with Her Tits Hanging Out: Mmmmm...MMMMM..uuuhhh...hey?

Acidman: I didn't hear the question. I was lookin' at your tits. Are those things real?

Interview Chick With Tits: Acidman... do you smoke marijuana?

Acidman: Why do you ask? Do you have any?

Chick With Tits: Acidman, have you been drinking?

Acidman Why? You got any?

Interview Tits: You've blogged about your "Bionic Roscoe." Would you like to talk about it now?

Acidman: TALK about it? Hell, baby, I'll SHOW it to you. C'mere and help me with this belt buckle...

Tits: Maybe later... You write a lot about music. How has music affected your life?

Acidman: It got me laid a lot. Speaking of music, I could make beautiful music with you. Could I touch one of them titties?

Intertit: Maybe later. Are you ALWAYS such a skinny old gray-haired letcher?

Acidman: No. I have silver hair and today is a down day. I took some medication that makes me feel really good, so I only fantasize about ripping you shirt off instead of actually doing it. But you could change all that if you'll let me touch one of them BEAUTIFUL titties. Are those things real?

Intit: There you have it!!! Acidman, as told by Acidman!!! (Got-dammit! Get your hand outta there!!) This is Interview Chick, signing out.

(You old bastard! Stop that!!!)

Comments

The interviews are done on a purely voluntary basis...you can volunteer, but I'll be fully clothed, ya know.

Feel free to join the other egotistical loud-mouths and volunteer.

('Course, it'll be awhile.)

Posted by: Jennifer on January 7, 2005 12:37 AM

I knew he was a titty guy, the red toe nails was all a front for what he is really wants.

Posted by: James Old Guy on January 7, 2005 08:03 AM

Hell, I've interviewed Eric AND Skippy. Surely I could handle yours...but of course, the ladies wouldn't like it much.

Posted by: Sadie on January 7, 2005 08:20 AM

Thank G*d I had finished my coffee! Terry

Posted by: Terry Reynolds on January 7, 2005 12:10 PM

God-DAMN-it, Rob. I'm still waiting for the damn shipment of paper towels and windex you've owed me since 2002! Now this!

I almost peed myself, that was just too damn funny!

Posted by: Joni on January 9, 2005 01:24 AM
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