Gut Rumbles

December 30, 2004

more fan mail

I like this one:

Dear Gutrumbles;

Your stat counter says your blog gets visited something like 1500 to 2000 times a day. I don't believe that because, for a conservative, you seem like a real dummy. Also you use bad language which reflects badly on yourself. So quit reporting those fake stats. They are ten times what my blog gets, and mine totally kicks yours. So it's not fair. And you probably are more libertarian than really conservative. 1.4 million hits would make you as popular as bigtime blogs like Powerline. You are a big phoney, that's what I think. Your stats are bogus. So quit reporting them, they make some of us look bad. We should be getting more traffic than some Kentucky hick like you.

P.S. Your wife left that other hick. She's with me now.


If you've got my ex-wife, Sodamonk, I pity your ass, you poor bastard. Why don't you just stick your head under a running lawn mower NOW and get it over with before she does it for you?

I believe that you are being sarcastic, and not doing a very good job of it. Unlike some anal-retentive, secretive, paraniod, oooh-I'm-afraid-you-might-see-my-wee-wee people in Blogdom, I have ALWAYS left my site meter open for anyone to check. I wouldn't jimmy those stats if I knew how (which I don't) any more than I would cheat on the golf course (which I ALSO don't). I've never hidden a got-damn thing here.

1.4 million visits? Yeah. I got every one of those and MORE, because site meter crashes every now and then and doesn't count all the traffic I get. But that total took me THREE YEARS to attain. That ain't fair, either. I'm better than Instapundit, but do I get 200,000 visitors per day? HELL NO!!!

What's HE got that I ain't got? Forget the law degree, the professor's job, the columns in numerous publications and the fawning minions of lusty young wimmen who would DIE to jump his geeky bones. I read on the internet today that he doesn't even write that stuff himself. It's all done by autopen.

Don't talk to ME about what's fair.


Hell, I'm ecstatic when my counter goes over 200/day! What's he bitching about? Sounds like a pretty ignorant rant to me.

Posted by: Michele on December 30, 2004 08:27 AM

It's not fair!


"But Daddy, I want an Oompa Loompa!"

Seriously, I think the guy stole the Sodakmonk monniker, because the rant you posted is nothing like the writing on his blog.

Posted by: Rob@L&R on December 30, 2004 08:51 AM

Well this post made me check the Web Stats for my message board that I operate for College Sports. Since about July 9th, when I created the site, we have had 28,842,563 hits (whoopie) averaging 170,291 hits per day.

But let me put this in perspective, the site averages only 800 unique visitors each day. so that means each person is hitting the site 212 times....wild....

Thanks Rob....I needed a pick-me-up today...

Posted by: Chris on December 30, 2004 10:21 AM

Yeah, that dumbass got picked last for dodgeball in elementary school. Makes me smile that feral, "I'm going to frag your ass first" smile.

"whaaa it's not fair"

He needs one of those "Annoy a Liberal: Work, Succeed and Be Happy" stickers right across his yap. Staple gun optional.

Posted by: Cythen on December 30, 2004 01:23 PM

Screw him.

By the way, would you please post that picture of the girl with the Christmas ornaments hanging off her nipples that you had on your site a year or so ago?

Posted by: Tee on December 30, 2004 02:21 PM

hell, you linked to me one day and I got almost 2000 hits over the course of a weekend from your site so I know what kinds of hits you pull. so tell that peice of pissmeat to go fuck off.

Posted by: Greg on December 30, 2004 02:34 PM

" It's not fair" and "you're a big phoney",Jeez sounds like you're getting flamed by an 11 year old with his own blog.

Posted by: big al on December 30, 2004 03:09 PM

This guy reminds me of Private Pile in "Full Metal Jacket". Stupid and and in front of a person who can verbally ream him inside out. Personally, "Gut Rumbles" rocks and keeps me coming back . :-)

Posted by: EricT on December 30, 2004 04:19 PM

Hey if you can get 1000, 2000, or even 5000 hits per day more power to ya!! This fella has a bad case of the *poor, poor, pitiful me*-itis. I may not agree with every thing you write (and wouldn't it be boring if we all walked in lockstep?) . However, you always write from the heart and oft times the hip as well. Keep up the good work .

Posted by: Guy S. on December 30, 2004 05:27 PM

Ask him does he want some cheese to go with that wine? He is just jealous.

Posted by: Catfish on December 30, 2004 08:29 PM

Everything he says just screams "I have a skinny weenie!!"

Sounds like 'Benedictine monk' was a good career choice...

Posted by: Desert Cat on December 31, 2004 11:13 PM
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