December 29, 2004

fan mail

Here's a nice email from some dickwit who calls himself "Fuckoff@die.com."

You self-righteous son of a bitch, you'll get what's coming to you... right-wing imperialistic motherfuckers who squander the world's resources in order to ensure the gratuitous accumulation of capital for personal gain - such as yourself - are better off dead.

Let's see if I can grasp his point, if he has one.

I am a self-righteous son of a bitch. Okay, I can handle that. A LOT of people think that way about me and I don't give a shit WHAT they think. I'd rather be a self-righteous son of a bitch than a flaming asshole who calls himself fuckoff@die.

You'll get what coming to you. I believe that I already have. I am retired and living comfortably, if not lavishly, at the age of 52. That ain't bad for a hillbilly born in a coal mining camp in Harlan County, Kentucky. And I got it all by myself, too. I can accept this fate.

I am a right-wing imperialist motherfucker.. I am definitely more conservative than leftist, but I wouldn't describe myself as right-wing on anything but defense and economic issues. I am politically incorrect, but I am proud to be an American. If that makes me an imperialist motherfucker, I stand guilty as charged.

I squander the world's resources in order to ensure the gratuitous accumulation of capital for personal gain. I always thought what I did was called "WORK," and I was paid for my labor, but maybe I'm wrong. I took an ore found in sand all over the world and "squandered" it into TiO2 pigment, which was then used in everything from paint to paper, to plastics, to toothpaste, to sunscreen to M&M candy. I think the point here is that humanity was better off when that ore lay unused in the sand. Gaia was happier then.

I'm better off dead. If communist asswipes such as Fuckoff ever take over, I totally agree. In the meantime, however, I intend to enjoy my "gratuitous accumulation of capital for personal gain." I earned it, and it's MINE. Isn't that a selfish attitude?

I have some advice for Fuckoff: FUCK OFF, you pathetic, leftist whinebag.