Gut Rumbles

December 24, 2004

ow! trust me!

If you suffer from bleeding ulcers or pancreatitus, DO NOT eat horseradish sauce. Mutha of Bejus! It seemed like a good idea at the time, and it tasted great, but I shouldn't have done it. Have you ever had a flaming spear stuck right into your belly, just below your sternum?

Well, I have. And it doesn't feel very good.

Goddam. I don't want to spend Christmas Eve in the hospital emergency room with morphene being pumped into my ass. (Yeah-- I've had this happen before and that's what they do.) Maybe I'll just die and get this shit over with. Maybe I can make it to the pain pills I have somewhere in the kitchen and take a couple without puking them up. Maybe I'll just lie down on the carpet for a while and take a nap.

Maybe... aw, fuck it. I'm going to curl into a fetal position and think my way out of this one.


Chug some Pepto, pop a few Pepcids, and call me in the morning, you big pussy.

On second thought, I understand a jigger of habenero juice will clear that right up.

Posted by: Velociman on December 24, 2004 07:27 PM

Eat some of that corn bread, drink lots of water.
I hope you feel better and have a Merry Christmas.

Posted by: gregor on December 24, 2004 07:41 PM

Go take a good shit.

Posted by: Catfish on December 24, 2004 09:50 PM

If you do go to the big Acid Vat in the sky, can you will any psychoactive pharmaceuticals in your stash?

Just askin'

Posted by: rightisright on December 25, 2004 12:25 AM


About ten years ago some guy discovered a cure for most stomach ulcers, it involves using three anti-biotics at once to kill a bacteria that was said not to be able to exist in the acid enviroment of the stomach. I can't remember all the details now but one of my friends who had stomach ulcers for years was cured after mentioning this to his doctor and being put on the course of anti-biotics. This is not quackery and is now established scientific fact. Email me and I will definately be able to find out the relevant names and get more infomation to you.


Posted by: Robert Worrill on December 25, 2004 04:06 AM


Go here to read about "Helicobacter pylori" the bacteria I was talking about.


Posted by: Robert Worrill on December 25, 2004 04:11 AM

I really appreciate blogs like this one becuase it is insightful and helps me communicate with others.
thanks.also, that guy billyz, I really need to talk to you about that cure you mentioned.

Posted by: online pharmacy on February 1, 2005 02:01 PM
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