December 23, 2004
time of the season?
Eric is having sick dreams. I would let out a big, fat "BWHAHAHAHAA!!!" and tell him to lay off the scotch, except for one small problem.
I had a sick dream myself last night.
I dreamed that I woke up in the middle of the night with an overpowering urge to go brush my teeth. I didn't need to piss or anything you might EXPECT to get up in the middle of the night to do. I just HAD to brush my teeth. So, I went to do exactly that.
I crawled out of bed, staggered to the bathroom, turned on the light, looked in the mirror.... and I almost screamed. I WAS FUCKING BALD!!! That's right, ladies and gentlepersons--- my pate was as bare as a baby's ass except for about a two-hair comb-over that looked worse than that coon-skin-cap Sam Nunn once sported in the Senate. If I wore dentures, they would have hit the floor right then.
I looked at my bald head in amazement. Where did my
I woke up in a cold sweat. I thanked GAWD that it was just a dream. I lit a cigarette and thought about my spooky imagination for about 30 seconds. Then, I crawled out of bed, staggered to the bathroom, turned on the light and looked in the mirror.
I REALLY WAS BALD, WITH A SHITTY, TWO-HAIR COMB-OVER!!! AIEEEEE!!!!!
Did you ever dream about waking from a dream and discover later that you were still dreaming? I didn't think so. Sane people don't do that, do they?
Neither do I.
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