Gut Rumbles
 

December 17, 2004

Law

I was a member of a class-action suit once. I didn't KNOW that I was at the time, because I wasn't smarting from any thievery or fraud from anybody and I don't recall signing up for the lawsuit. I never realized that I was a victim until I received a check for $16.75 in the mail, courtesy of some bank that gave me a credit card several years earlier.

I never had a problem with the bank. I just cancelled their card and got another one at a lower interest rate when that offer came my way. As far as I was concerned, we parted friends.

I was curious about the suit, so I researched it on the internet. Lo and behold!!! Some people were deceived by the fact that higher interest rates applied to cash advances or debt rollovers than they did to regular purchases, so some enterprising bandit lawyer SUED. Everybody who had a card during a two-year period received $16.75 for their pain and suffering. The lawyer got $13 million for his selfless quest for justice.

That's class-action law today.

And the people running the show know what a joke this system is, but they pretend it's something else. I like this quote:

...they are class-action specialists and they objected when I wrote that they reminded me of bank robbers except that wasn't fair to bank robbers, according to my theory, because bank robbers don't pretend they're robbing the banks on our behalf.

If we don't clean up our legal system, we're going to destroy this country. You can't expect lawyers to police themselves any more than you can expect inmates to run a prison, and judges are nothing more than ex-lawyers who ain't about to rock the boat THEY ride in, and the same goes for politicians. Most of THOSE bastards are lawyers, too.

I propose that we institute a system where you have to pass a certification exam to serve on a jury. The test doesn't have to be difficult--- can you read and write, do you recognize the Bill of Rights when you see it, are you familiar with a document called "The Constitution of the United States of America," and do you pay taxes? Nothing complicated.

And the foreman of every jury should be equipped with a fire hose loaded with a spring-nozzle and 3,500 PPSI of water pressure. The first time a stupid suit is presented, and a lawyer says something absolutely ridiculous about the merits of his case, the foreman is allowed to flip the nozzle, fire away, wash that bastard AND the judge out into the street like the money-grubbing trash they are and be richly applauded for his efforts.

That's MY kind of legal system.

Comments

I think there ought to be a cap on how much a trial lawyer can make per year without a tax penalty. Go over the amount pay more tax!! I know I sound like a donk, but aren't most trial lawyers donks? And they really do serve the public good. NOT. It would be the only tax hike donks would lobby hard against.

BTW here in the city of Birmingham, everyone who works in the city limits has to PAY Tax to work there!!!! Oh yeah except for the doctors and lawyers who are exempt.....

Posted by: DaneBramage on December 17, 2004 01:44 PM

Everybody who had a card during a two-year period received $16.75 for their pain and suffering. The lawyer got $13 million for his selfless quest for justice.

Let me see if I understand you correctly. A company does a bait and switch on it's customers, and yet you call the lawyer a bandit because he/she uses free market principles to hold that company accountable for their fraud.

Something is wrong with that logic, Acid.

Posted by: Mikelx on December 17, 2004 02:37 PM

Mikelx, you are so fucking stupid that somebody should slap your mama for hatching your dumb ass. NOBODY pulled a "bait-and-switch" except the fucking lawyer.

The terms of the credit card were printed on every statement I received. If I didn't bother to read it, that was MY FAULT, not the bank's.

The bank SETTLED the suit rather than allow it to drag through our expensive court system. The lawyer absconded with $13 million and EVERYBODY pays more for a credit card today.

Asshole.

Posted by: Acidman on December 17, 2004 07:18 PM

Mikelx, you are so fucking stupid that somebody should slap your mama for hatching your dumb ass. NOBODY pulled a "bait-and-switch" except the fucking lawyer.

I'm sorry, I was thinking of my company. We had to settle for $500 million for bait and switch. You still like me, doncha?

The bank SETTLED the suit rather than allow it to drag through our expensive court system.

Bullshit! They settled because they knew a jury would probably award the plaintiff a much larger settlement if they didn't settle. I read Grisham books too! :)

The lawyer absconded with $13 million and EVERYBODY pays more for a credit card today.

More bullshit! The most anyone pays for a credit card is the annual fee. Anyone with decent credit can get a low interest card. But then there are folks like me who know how to manage money. My wife and I put roughly $5,000 a month on our card. Guess how much interest we pay? ZERO! NOTHING! Paying off the card every month by not spending more than we make means that we don't go into debt and pay that interest to the bank, and we go to Europe once a year on the points we earn through using the card.

Ya know what I am saying, Acid?

Posted by: Mikelx on December 17, 2004 11:55 PM

Shit, Acidman, I could think of a million good reasons for a class action suit. But the trial lawyers are out of hand ... and don't expect them to change anything.

The defendants' lawyers like to piss and moan about the plaintiff's bar bringing frivolous lawsuits ... but the business defense lawyer pockets money when one of these things is filed, too.

--|PW|--

Posted by: pennywit on December 18, 2004 01:44 AM

Yeah,most bank robbers don't make 13 million is a life time,so I wonder who the bigger theif is?

Posted by: big al on December 18, 2004 05:19 AM

Here here BIG AL.!!!

Posted by: DaneBramage on December 18, 2004 11:05 AM

I really appreciate blogs like this one becuase it is insightful and helps me communicate with others.
thanks.also, that guy billyz, I really need to talk to you about that cure you mentioned.

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