Gut Rumbles

December 16, 2004

i give up

I am about one more frustrating moment away from taking my fiddle out in my back yard and jumping up and down on the sumbitch until I break it to splinters. Then, I'm gonna set it on fire and be done with the cursed thing. I'm NEVER going to learn to play it worth a shit.

The got-dam thing needs frets on it, and I should be able to play it with a pick instead of a bow. I am a MUSICIAN, for crying out loud, and the best I can do with that bastard is make noises like a cat hung on an electric fence--- and that AIN'T a pretty sound.

I never learned what I wanted to do on a harmonica, but at least I can play songs folks recognize on one of those. My harmonica playing isn't bad around a campfire in the woods. Sounds pretty good when there's nothing else to listen to except bean-farts and snores.

But people want to SHOOT ME when I drag out my fiddle, and I don't blame them one bit. I want to SHOOT MYSELF every time I fuck with that thing. The more I try, the worse I get.

I give up. I suck as a fiddle player, and that is that. I could practice for another ten years and I'm STILL gonna suck. Just DAMN!!!

Vassar Clements made it look so easy...


don't do that.
I took a billion violin lessons, including some fiddling, so here's some thoughts:
first. mark your fingerings with some tape. Scotch tape works great. A million kids have learned this way. If you can feel where your fingers are supposed to go, you don't have to worry about being in tune and can focus on bowing, etc. Especially important for double stops.
Next, start with something simple and get it right. Then move on to something more interesting.....

Posted by: caltechgirl on December 16, 2004 04:20 PM

Have any leftover fireworks?

Real men blow things up when they're pissed off. Screw that pansy fire stuff. Fire is an after effect of a good bout of rage.

Posted by: Mr. Lion on December 16, 2004 05:07 PM

If none of the above works Rob, you could always turn it over, bolt a short stand to it, and buy some drum sticks. See what I'm sayin?

I won't tell anybody you're an aspiring drummer if you do.

Posted by: RedNeck on December 16, 2004 05:15 PM

Now dadgummit, I think you meant Vassar Clements wonder you're having trouble playing that thing.

/hillbilly jazz god spelling police

Posted by: marcl on December 16, 2004 06:10 PM

Sam Bush makes it look easy, too. It's just a fretless mandolin. Don't give up without a fight.

Posted by: tybeebum on December 17, 2004 01:11 AM
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