Gut Rumbles

December 10, 2004


*From kiwi pete in response to the picture of my Fender Telecaster I posted the other day:

Telecasters are soo fucking ugly. I've never liked that shape. But by christ if I could get my hands on a cheap one, I would buy it. They are sweetest things to play with.

"sometimes the ugliest girls are the best lays".

Pete, all Telecasters are NOT "ugly." Mine IS, but that's no reason to brand the entire line of guitars with a hurtful label. I like Telecasters because they are capable of making just about any kind of sound you want to make, from crisp country to screaming rock-n-roll. And they play wonderfully. Fuck a Strat. Gimme a Telecaster anytime. My ugly girl sure has been nice to me in the past.

*Do a good deed. Email "Matt" at and answer the question he sent me:

Recently I won a $50 gift certificate for a local book store, and I've been wondering just what I'm going to spend it on. All the books we're reading today in my AP Language and Composition class are crap...which is why I turn to you. I got a short glimpse of some recommendations in a recent post, but what are some must-haves that I probably don't have right now? I'm mulling a career in writing, so the stronger the foundation I can build by reading fine books, the better.

You gotta love any high school student who uses the word "mulling" in an email. Send him YOUR recomendations.

*At my undisclosed location, I am with an old friend of mine. When we checked into our room, I took my .22 derringer out of my pocket and laid it on the nightstand. "You brought a gun?" my friend asked. I replied that NO, I didn't bring "a gun"--- I brought TWO, and that's when I showed him the .38 in my bag.

"Well, you might like THESE," he replied, as he extracted a 9mm and a .380 from HIS bag. We passed them around and handled them as tenderly as grandmothers hold new babies. I believe that we are the two most heavily-armed guests in this hotel. It's a Southern thang. I don't leave home without it.

*Most bloggers I read have been really slack about posting for the past couple of days. I have been, too, but I've got an excuse. I was sick yesterday and I was on the road most of today.

What's YOUR goddam excuse?

*If I had one thing to do over again in my life, I'd probably forget to do it.

*For men: what is sexier--- big titties or a fine ass?

*For wimmen: what is sexier--- a big dick or a silver tongue?

No fair answering "BOTH" on that last one.


I'll take a sweet arse over meat balloons any day.

I look at the sweater meat as a bonus.

Posted by: rightisright on December 10, 2004 07:24 PM

Ass, of course. You can't watch a girl's jugs when she's cooking dinner, now can you.

As for the boy, tell him to buy a used copy of Mr. Boston's. As a writer, it's probably the only book he'll ever make money off of.

Posted by: Rube on December 10, 2004 07:43 PM

titties can be beautifully splendiferous small or large, but a fine ass is sine qua non!

Posted by: wes jackson on December 10, 2004 07:45 PM

Rob didn't say you couldn't be fair when answering "both" to the first, just the the last ;). So, "BOTH" to the first. But mostly, what's sexy is the woman. All of her.

Posted by: RedNeck on December 10, 2004 09:20 PM

Neither. Long shapely legs! Lively eyes!

As for dicks: it's not how much, it's how.

Posted by: Brett on December 11, 2004 08:25 AM

For men, a nice set of tits can be sexy even if they don't like the woman they are attached to. But a dick really can't be sexy on its own. If it's attached to a man who doesn't understand foreplay, can't last longer than 5 minutes, and falls asleep as soon as it's over, then it's just an appendage.

Posted by: shell on December 11, 2004 09:36 AM

Rob, that Telecaster is NOT ugly. It's a thing of beauty, as far as guitars go, and I'd find a home for it in a heartbeat. You wanna see ugly, take a look at the Mosrite clone I flail on:

(Forgive the reloading bench mess, I haven't had time to clean it up since my last deployment "over there"...)

Posted by: Gewehr98 on December 11, 2004 01:27 PM
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