Gut Rumbles
 

December 08, 2004

peeves

*I wanna know why Eric, Key and several others can't fix their goddam comments to remember my personal information. WTF is that? If I didn't really LOVE you guys, I wouldn't bother with typing the same shit in those little boxes every time I want to share my wit with you.

*Why do most wimmen bloggers become obsessed with "skins" and all the got-dam decoration they can cram onto a page? That shit reminds me of a toilet seat with a fuzzy cover on top, ANOTHER THING wimmen love. A guy can't piss in there without grabbing his dick in one hand and holding the lid up with the other. If you don't hold the lid up, it'll slam down and guillotine your precious member. I sometimes piss on the frilly lid-cover just for spite.

*Why does ANY woman find John Kerry attractive? That guy repluses me.

*I am SHORT. I stand 5' 8" tall. I am NOT "vertically challenged," nor am I claiming to be a member of a victim group. I'm just SHORT. I know it, you'll know it if you meet me, so why say anything different? Calling my height something else isn't going to make me any taller. Cut that shit out. I don't see anything wrong with the words "crippled," "retarded," or "old," either.

*WHY do people think posting pictures of cats is a "cute" thing to do? The only good cat picture I ever saw on a blog showed one dead on the side of the road with a "FREE CAT" sign stuck in the ground next to the corpse. I stole that one. Otherise, I HATE cat-blogging.

*What's with the "F**k" and "A$$" things some people do on blogs? If you're gonna cuss, then CUSS, by-damn. If you ain't gonna cuss, then don't. Just stop acting like your mama is watching every fucking thing you do and you're trying to avoid her disapproval.

*Stop making fun of the picture on my page because I'm not wearing a shirt. That's the way I look most of the time. I don't wear any clothes AT ALL unless I absolutely have to.

*I think I own a tie, but I don't know where it is. I hope I never find it, either. I damn sure never intend to wear one again. A necktie is an abomination almost as bad as a woman's girdle. Okay, a girdle is worse, but you get my drift.

*Screaming, crying, wailing kids should be tranferred to the cargo hold of an airplane immediately after take-off and not released from there until the plane lands. Parents who RAISE screaming, crying, wailing kids and don't know how to shut them up should be jettisoned from the aircraft at an altitude of no lower than 20,000 feet.

*I don't want to be President of the United States, but I should be.

.

Comments

And here we were, this whole time, thinking that you were wearing a strapless bikini top in that picture.

But now we find out the truth.

Just ghastly...

Posted by: torchpraise on December 8, 2004 09:09 PM

I thnk the "skinnin'" thing is ok. I'm just waitin' for one of 'em to ask me "Does this skin make my ass look big?"

Then I'm stuck.

Uh, no, your ass makes your ass look big. There ain't no smoke and mirrors on that skin. And you're ass is what it is.

Then I'm shot.(Not figuratively either)


Posted by: RedNeck on December 8, 2004 09:16 PM

It's a moo new thang. I have to type it all in from home, but I'm cookied in at the office.

Discriminate little booger it is...

Sorry, can't help it. The cult takes good care of me. I don't question the powers.

Posted by: Key on December 8, 2004 09:26 PM

Shit Key, I didn't know it was all that. I was comin' back to tell Rob that the "Save my info shit" was just fake. A decoy, like a plastic duck on a pond.

Posted by: RedNeck on December 8, 2004 09:36 PM

One more thing Key,
Don't drink the Kool-Aide.

Posted by: RedNeck on December 8, 2004 09:39 PM

John Kerry is FUCKING UGLY. Enough said.

Posted by: Becky on December 8, 2004 09:41 PM

.. damn, man.. I made your list of peeves.... hot damn!..... this is a red-letter day.. although, having it be over munuvian comment config is a bit of a let-down... and, yeah.. I got your tab in Athens.... you have my word...

Posted by: Eric on December 8, 2004 09:47 PM

John Kerry is fucking ugly dude. And for your information you old fart, I made you a special skin. It's all red toenails. I hope that satisfies you. No more frillie shit for you...codger. ;)

Posted by: Gennie on December 8, 2004 10:23 PM

What's the matter Eric, they got your comments over there super glued?

John who?

Posted by: RedNeck on December 8, 2004 11:02 PM

I thought your computer was puking up their Mu Nu cookies.

Posted by: Velociman on December 8, 2004 11:20 PM

*Man, I hate that "skin of the week" nonsense too.

*Fluffy toilet seat covers? Oh, now about those seats with the vinyl cover and the foam padding? I hate those fuckers. If I want to spoil my ass, I'll drive to Savannah. I don't need a cushy-comfy toilet seat for that.

*The cussing thing? I come here for that. It's much more fun to cuss in company. Anyway, I make the pretense of being a "sweet little old lady" in the Rumpus Room. It's part of the schtick.

*I always found your shirtless pic extremely attractive and had wished I were skinny and young enough to have turned your head, once upon a time.

*Pantyhose are worse than a good girdle. Trust me on that one. Especially when one is Thunder-Thighed like I am. Like wearing fiberblass between your thighs. Just tell that skin "good-bye."

Posted by: Mamamontezz on December 9, 2004 03:01 AM

PIMF-I meant Fiberglass.

Posted by: Mamamontezz on December 9, 2004 03:02 AM


"... toilet seat with a fuzzy cover on top..."

Such a thing is called a "bijoona" and just about everything that needs to be said about them was said in an article "In Search Of The Savage Bijoona" in the July 1973 Playboy magazine.

You young'uns can go ask your daddy to borrow his copy so you can read the article.

Posted by: homebru on December 9, 2004 08:52 AM

Oh boy look out! I've been saving up a whole bunch of cat picturers just for you. BWAHAHAHAHAHA!

Posted by: Denny on December 9, 2004 11:36 PM

Rob, your previous visit to Costa Rica proved your cat-bashing is all just a front. We see through you now.

C'mon, you know you'd just love to have a cute, cuddly, purring pussy on your lap.

Posted by: McGehee on December 10, 2004 09:45 AM

Eric's blog always remembers me...then again...I look good in a skirt.

Posted by: Sadie on December 10, 2004 03:50 PM

You should visit , where Eden has started the meme of Friday pussyblogging.

Posted by: shell on December 11, 2004 09:50 AM
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