Gut Rumbles

December 06, 2004

I have a dream!

I'll post before and after pictures when the meal is done. I'm gonna throw a recipe out here: Acidman's Ultimate Rib-Eye Steak. It goes like this:

* Buy a big, fat, marbled rib-eye about 2" thick.

* Throw that sucker in a plastic baggie, add soy sauce, black pepper, lemon pepper, fresh garlic and a dash of MSG. (I don't measure that crap. Just make it LOOK right.) Then rub the baggie around in your hands until you have all that juicy stuff smeared all over the steak. When you're finished playing with your meat, throw it into the refrigerator overnight, in the plastic bag. Let it brood.

* Get really hungry about 1:00 the next day. Light your charchol grill.

* If you knew what you were doing, you already had a Vidalea onion, a small bell pepper and some portabella mushrooms on hand. If you DIDN'T KNOW, run to the store and get some NOW, while the charchol is getting ready.

(Warning ALERT!!! Wash all ingredients before going any farther!!! I don't want a bullshit lawsuit on my hands.)

* Whack a softball-sized Vidalea onion in half. Cut 1/2 the onion into thin rings.

* Cut the bell pepper into thin strips.

* Slice the portabellas into nice chunks, about the size of the end of your thumb.

* Put the steak on a big piece of aluminium foil. Throw the onion, the pepper and the mushrooms on top of the steak, add a dash of salt and 1/4 a stick of butter.

* Fold the aluminium foil carefully around the steak, poke a couple of holes in the foil, then throw that rascal on the grill and put a lid on it. Go bake a potato. Take a piss. Relax for about 25 minutes.

* Then, go pull that package off the grill and pour it onto a plate. Hot Damn! THAT'S good eating.

Baked potatoes and salad are optional. But if you can't cook THIS delicious meal, you need to be dragged off and shot.


Great recipe.... The only thing I would add is to poke the steak with a fork about 50 times before marinating it. It lets all the juices in.

Why the msg?

Posted by: z on December 6, 2004 06:02 PM

That sounds great. I like somebody who knows how to eat. People who don't believe in eatin good ole red meat are seriously messed up. Thanks for making me hungry. What time will it be ready? I'll bring the ShinerBock.

Posted by: Fightin Tiger on December 6, 2004 06:23 PM

Can I skip the shrooms? YUCK.....fungus! Just my personal opinion/taste of course.

Posted by: Ronda on December 6, 2004 06:32 PM

Sounds pretty good. But, I like my steak crusty on the outside and RED on the inside. Hell, I don't even care if it 'moos' a little.25 minutes in foil will BOIL the dang thing.

Posted by: Pammy on December 6, 2004 07:34 PM

Now why do you fire up the grill if you're going to put the whole thing in foil. Doesn't that defeat the purpose of the grill? Seems to me, you could just chuck it in the oven if you're going to wrap it in foil. How do you get any of that grilled essence?

Posted by: DogsDon'tPurr on December 6, 2004 08:43 PM

Although, I have to admit, it does sound tasty.

Posted by: DogsDon'tPurr on December 6, 2004 08:46 PM

I gotta agree with Pammy, steamed beef is ok, but you can't get grill marks that way. Give me a dry rub of Montreal Steak and throw it over the coals with some wet mesquite chips. Yum.............

Posted by: zipity on December 6, 2004 10:07 PM

I'd like to amend the motion to read, "...big fat, marbled 'bone-in' rib eye about 2" thick." Threaten the butcher's life if he dares trim any fat off of it.

Posted by: Greg on December 6, 2004 10:52 PM

If ever there were a recipe to make me regret my nasty allergy to soy, it's that one. Sounds fabulous.

Posted by: Samira on December 6, 2004 11:17 PM

Samira: Try Worcestershire sauce instead of soy sauce. Might be even better. I've used good bourbon in a marinade for steak, too.

Posted by: Pammy on December 6, 2004 11:33 PM

Not only beef, it is good with deer meat, wild pork, chicken and any type of wild bird, it is very good, if you are camping, just wrap in fold and throw it in the fire, it will turn out just as good as the grill. Have plenty of brown whiskey to wash it down also.

Posted by: Catfish on December 6, 2004 11:38 PM

Are you people on crack? There is only one way to serve a fine piece of cow. Wipe it's nasty ass, knock the horns off, and throw it on a plate. Period.

Rub that bitch with a bit of coarse Kosher salt and some fresh cracked pepper (woe to those that do not grind their own) and let it stand for a couple of minutes.Three to five minutes per side (for your average steak thickness) on a hot-as-hell-grill. No more, for damn sure. Let it sit for 4 to 5 minutes. Letting a fine piece of cow rest after searing is fucking key. Gotta let it rest. Trust me on that.

Then the true meaning of carnivore shall be revealed unto you.

Posted by: bitterman on December 7, 2004 12:25 AM

Bitterman, I'll eat steak RAW! I AM a carnivore. But I kinda like cooking a steak with all the gourmet trimmings sometimes.

And DDP-- poking the holes in the foil and putting a lid on the package forces nice, charcol smoke through everything while it cooks. An oven won't give it that flavor.

Try it, then bitch at me if you don't like it.

Posted by: Acidman on December 7, 2004 01:06 AM

That sounds awesome. But you left out "wash your hands again" after the next-to-last step.

Posted by: Lee on December 7, 2004 09:55 AM

Great recipe. I will try it cause I'm a steak eating machine.

And after reading about your adventures in Puerto Rico, I may have to pay them a visit someday.

Posted by: Brent on December 7, 2004 09:59 AM

Since we're going gourmet, allow me to suggest a substitute for the mundane baked potato: For one very large serving.

Wash and cut into chunks 2 medium mature potatoes, place in a bowl. Peel, quarter and seperate 1 medium onion, (Vidalia is fine) and add to the bowl. Cut 2 smallish carrots into chunks, add them to the bowl. Add enough olive oil to this mixture to coat liberally, a good shake of garlic salt to taste, fresh ground black pepper, and a good shake of dried oregano to coat. If you want to do these on a grill, simply place in a foil packet, and grill it until everything is nice and browned. In an oven, do it in a roasting pan at 375 until everything is browned, stirring occasionally.

Posted by: Anthony L. on December 7, 2004 10:09 AM

Aw Zipity, that brings tears to my eyes!

I was getting all hungry about Acidman's recipe, but my favorite way to eat ribeye is exactly that...Montreal seasoning on a bone-in ribeye on a hot grill--sear those marbles into and all over the meat. UM! I've got one in the freezer but it's too dang late to go eat it now...

Posted by: Desert Cat on December 8, 2004 01:19 AM

That all sounded good, save for the MSG part. I'm sure it would taste like heaven on earth, but the splitting MSG headache I'd get afterwards kinda cancels the efforts. :(

Posted by: Gewehr98 on December 8, 2004 12:16 PM
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