Gut Rumbles

November 17, 2004

teach your children well

This idea may seem somewhat drastic to some parents, but it doesn't to me. I don't think smart-ass kids get enough humiliation in their lives for acting like smart-assed kids. If they did, they wouldn't be so smart-assed.

Compared to what I see today, my parents were goddam TYRANTS! Corporal Punishment? FUCK! My folks didn't stop at "corporal" when they launched an attack on my ass--- they went all the way to Five-Star General Punishment. My "self-esteem" never entered into the equation. Self-preservation did, because if I showed my ass, my parents busted it, and I learned quickly not to do that kind of shit.

I don't believe that my parents ever lay in bed and night and wondered whether they were too tough on me or my brother, either. I think they lay there and wondered what we got away with that we needed our asses busted for if they only knew about it. They had us there. We were ALWAYS guilty of something.

My folks didn't make their sons little angels, but they damn sure taught us how to behave in public. I don't think enough parents do that dirty work today. I cannot abide an undisciplined child, nor can I abide parents who allow a child to behave that way.

If you're not willing to bust your kid's ass when he or she needs it, don't bring that ass into the world. It's YOUR job to teach 'em to be civilized; if you can't handle it, don't volunteer.

It's not an easy job and sometimes... you have to get your hands dirty.


On the few occaisions when my Papi "said it with cowhide" or my Mom "illustrated her points with a switch" I found their arguments to most convincing and instructive... yep, can still feel 'em... even today...

Posted by: Mike on November 17, 2004 11:38 PM

Damned straight.

I got the principal's belt more than once in the very same school my mother taught in.

Did I dare run down the hall and tell her? Umm, hell no. If she did find out (and she did about 99% of the time), I would get a double duty arse whoppin'.

This was during the '70s. Right about when corporal punishment was being phased out by the touchy-feely types.

Progressive initiatives are often regressive in consequence.

Posted by: rightisright on November 17, 2004 11:39 PM

Two things I plan on saying:

"You're not sorry you did it, you're sorry you GOT CAUGHT!!"

"When you step foot outside this house, you will not shame me."

Both will be reinforced with the Five Fingered Discussion, when required.

Posted by: Cythen on November 18, 2004 03:00 AM

I can't even go out in public anymore without seeing a kid that should be getting his or her ass whipped for the way they're acting. I especially love the ones that bring their snot-nosed children to rated R movies so they can ruin it for everyone else. good GOD that pisses me off. my mother once dragged my ass out of the theatre (she took me to see Snow White) when I was 5. I was kicking the seat in front of me and even went as far as to pull some lady's hair. I was acting like a total ass. the best part was when I started hollering (as she was dragging me up the aisle), "Don't beat me, mommy! Don't beat me!" HA. nowadays, that sort of behavior goes completely unpunished b/c their parents would rather watch the movie than teach their children good behavior.

Posted by: girl on November 18, 2004 09:18 AM

Just be careful no one sees you spank your kids. Ever.

Because you'll get a visit from the State Police.

I know. I did. And I did.

Most humiliating experience I've ever had. Bar none. Three swats on my son's butt for kicking his baby sister in the head, and I'm being grilled by a MA State cop with his hand on his gun the whole time while a female cop inspects my son's ass in the lady's room of the campground.

Now I'm on file as a child abuser. I suppose I should be lucky they didn't arrest me.

So, go easy on the parents out there with unruly kids. They just might be scared shitless of disciplining their kids in public.

Because I sure as hell am.

Posted by: Jay G on November 18, 2004 10:28 AM

Sorry Jay, sounds like you needed to find who phoned in the complaint and deliver a sermon on the head, so to speak. fucking busy bodys.

Posted by: James Old Guy on November 18, 2004 12:20 PM


I knew who it was. It was the yuppie asswipes with their brand new Suburban towing a $30,000 trailer. They were the ones watching us in our little decrepit pop-up trailer, watching the guy with the shaved head and the Harley T-shirt spank his son.

The cop even told me, don't cause trouble looking for the person you think called this in. I felt like throwing up. I *HATE* spanking my son. Just hate it. I get sick to my stomach when I have to spank him. But it doesn't stop me - there are times when a little boy has to have concrete limits set down, and a strict punishment for breaking those limits. Hitting his sister is one of them. And this cop takes one look at me and automatically assumes I'm some white trash fuck who'd go start a fight with a complete stranger.

I felt like screaming at the cop, "Look at my fucking record. Oh, wait, you can't, because I don't have a fucking record." I've had exactly two speeding tickets in my life. That's the extent of my run-ins with the law. No felonies. No misdemeanors. Two traffic tickets. But because I spanked my son, I get two cops ready to beat my ass and take me to jail.

Of course, none of that matters to the do-gooders. All they saw was a man spanking his child, which in their twisted view is completely unacceptable under any circumstances.

What's really funny, in a sickeningly ironic sort of way, is that if I honestly were someone that beat his kids, my son would have gotten the beating of a lifetime after that scene. Those busybody assholes did 100X more harm than good - because now I refuse to discipline my son in public. I have *become* one of those parents that lets their kids run wild. Fuck them. I hope my kid ruins their movie. I hope he pushes a shopping cart into their $50,000 SUV. Fuck them.

Had I confronted them, even verbally, I would have gone to jail. Guaranteed. Because they'd have shit their pants the first time I even looked in their direction. I'm sure the cop would have been all-too-happy to make sure I "fell going down the stairs", too.

Posted by: Jay G on November 18, 2004 12:33 PM


Here's a different take, from a Muslim perspective via

14 year old boy broke his fast for Ramadan and received 85 lashes, he later died.

Posted by: Christina on November 18, 2004 03:53 PM

I cannot abide precocious little kids on TV shows. It's not cute.

Kids have their place and should be put there and forced to stay there.

Posted by: Lark on November 20, 2004 02:23 PM

Jay, it's Massachusetts...what do you expect!?

Posted by: Steve on May 7, 2005 04:28 AM

I like to suck baby penis

Posted by: LARK on May 15, 2005 11:03 PM
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