Gut Rumbles

November 09, 2004

verily I say...

Wisdom from Jesusland:

*Don't name a pig you plan to eat.

*Country fences need to be horse high, pig tight, and bull strong.

*Life is not about how fast you run, or how high you climb, but how well you bounce.

*Keep skunks, lawyers and bankers at a distance.

*Life is simpler when you plow around the stumps.

*A bumble bee is faster than a John Deere tractor.

*Trouble with a milk cow is she won't stay milked.

*Don't skinny dip with snapping turtles.

*Words that soak into your ears are whispered, not yelled.

*Meanness don't happen overnight.

*To know how country folks are doing, look at their barns, not their houses.

*Never lay an angry hand on a kid or an animal, it just ain't helpful.

*Forgive your enemies. It messes with their heads.

*Don't sell your mule to buy a plow.

*Two can live as cheap as one if one don't eat.

*Don't corner something meaner than you are.

*It don't take a very big person to carry a grudge.

*Don't go huntin' with a fellow named Chug-A-Lug.

*You can't unsay a cruel thing.

*Every path has some puddles.

When you wallow with pigs, expect to get dirty.

*The best sermons are lived, not preached.

*Most of the stuff people worry about never happens.

Yeah. We sure are ignorant in Jesusland.


Don't name a pig you plan to eat

The hell you say! We named ours "Bacon", "Porkchop", "Ham", and "Sausage".

Kept their intended purpose in mind, if you will.

Posted by: Raging Dave on November 9, 2004 02:19 PM

My dad and his brother raised a couple of beef cattle on my uncle's hobby farm when I was growing up. Named them 'Porterhouse' and 'Sirloin'.

But we did name the pigs on our hobby farm. They still ended up as pork chops and ham. :) Even the goats who were destined for slaughter were named. So far as I know us kids weren't traumatized by it. We knew their whole life which were to be kept for milk and which were going to end up in the freezer.

Although one old named hen (Chickie-poo) lived out the fullness of her days (6-7 years) without fear of the stew-pot.

Posted by: Desert Cat on November 9, 2004 05:19 PM

Yep, we're all a bunch of ignorant rednecks and by the way, I no longer skinny dip, I chunky dunk!

Posted by: michelle on November 10, 2004 04:09 PM
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