Gut Rumbles

October 04, 2004


This is a sad story. I misted up reading it. Poor Spidey. He lost his first personal pet and that hurts in a way you never forget. I buried my first favorite dog when I was 12 years old and I still think about that dog today.

I have a piece of advice. They are more expensive than the mutts and the mullets in the fish store, but buy a Siamese Fighting fish next time. They prefer a solitary life in a fish-bowl and they're pretty to look at. Plus, they are very entertaining.

Just hold a mirror up to the fishbowl and let the fish see his own reflection. He gets pissed off, puffs up like a blowfish, sprouts all kinda gills and fins you never knew he had, and gets ready to KILL THAT MOTHERFUCKER he sees in the mirror. He doesn't know that he's looking at himself, and that makes the trick even better. Get TWO MIRRORS and really fake him out.

Now, he thinks he's outnumbered and he gets REALLY agitated. The bastard ain't afraid--- he just doesn't know which motherfucker to kill FIRST. He'll damn near beat himself to death in the fishbowl as he attacks his imaginary opponents. Take the mirrors away and he's fine again. He ran the infidels off and he's happy.

Those are entertaining fish and they live for more than two years. I wish I had one back in my dope-smoking days. I could have fucked with it for hours.

Yes. That fish comes highly recommended by ME.


That reminds me of the time at a WalMart in which I slid transparent containers each holding a male Beta right up next to each other and watched them ready themselves for combat...

...about three months ago.

Posted by: D.J. M.B. on October 4, 2004 08:30 PM

...I would like to know how a beta is more expensive than a mutt. While I can see that buying a five dollar or less fish is more expensive than picking up a mutt for free, everything for the fish (bowl, water treatment crap, food, bowl decorations if you really want to be fancy) and the fish comes up to less than twenty bucks. Unless you're really going wild. The first vet visit, the food, the toys, etc for the mutt total up over that really fast.

Posted by: Veryalda Relisys on October 4, 2004 09:15 PM

Bettas are great fish. They get all excited when they see you walk in the room, once they begin to associate you with feeding time. We had a succession of them over the last few years. After Bart III finally died, Daisycat decided she'd had enough hearbreak watching them die and packed up the aquarium.

Posted by: Desert Cat on October 4, 2004 10:33 PM

Better yet, buy a bunch of them for the kid, dump them all in a single bowl and let him watch Darwinism in action :)

Posted by: rightisright on October 5, 2004 01:15 AM

ok so cock fights and dog fights are illegal for the most part.... what about fish fights... get a couple them betas and take some bets throw them in the bowl... I predict big money in fish fights....

Posted by: oakleytexas on October 5, 2004 03:49 AM

I used to breed betas. they are beautiful and fascinating fish. If you're interested I've written about the mating rituals on my blog.It's very unusual.

Posted by: Denise on October 5, 2004 04:03 AM

The boys and I have 3 males and 1 female bettas and they are a lot of fun. We love these damn fish. They really are smarter than your average guppie or goldfish. People think I'm nuts because 'they're just FISH', but we've grown very attached to them.

Posted by: Chablis on October 5, 2004 05:31 AM

Well, God Bless Hope over there in SB's comments.
She got to giggling over "fish and hugs are fatally incompatible" and I got giggling over the "Captain" officiating at the "burial at sea" part. I felt like such a shit, til I read Hope's comment.

Sorry for the kid, but the way it was conveyed was a little comical.

There is only a WORLD of difference between that story and the one about the BC , Quint and that puppy. Illustrates the HUGE-ASSED difference between a real "Mom" and some bitch who had a kid meant to be a leg-hold trap, too.

I absolutely believe to the core of my being that the only reason the BC got pregnant in the first place was 18 (or more) years of "free" income... which she's proving to be correct every. single. day.

Now, here's a question... why does God take sweet, innocent animals left and right and leave evil bitches and assholes here for what feels like for-fuckin'-ever?
I can't WAIT to ask Him about THAT, lemme tell ya.

Posted by: Stevie on October 5, 2004 11:09 AM


Shortly following the purchase of my Betta, a friend of mine shared your same sentinment. I mentioned that we could webcast Betta fights and take wagers via PayPal. We'd probably break all kinds of namby-pamby bullshit laws, though. Maybe if the webcast server was in Mexico...

Posted by: D.J. M.B. on October 5, 2004 04:52 PM
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