Gut Rumbles

September 29, 2004

axe control

We've got a real problem here and government needs to take swift action to... I dunno... SAVE THE CHILDREN or whatever else is handy for justification of inane acts by the government.

We need to ban assault axes.

Did you know that an assault axe can shatter a cinder block? Did you know that many axes are capable of penetrating a policeman's bullet-proof vest? Yes! These are "cop-killer" axes!!! Did you know that an assault axe is the preferred weapon of criminal nut-balls on Norweigan airplanes?

Do those facts scare the shit out of you, or what? Those axes are dangerous things and we don't need them flooding our streets. We need to BAN THEM! RIGHT NOW!!! Dianne Feinstein, where are you when we really need you?

Of course, if the pilots had been armed, they could have just shot the shit out of that nut-ball and the situation would have resolved itself. But that's too simple a solution for government to embrace.

Naw... guns are dangerous, some guns are REALLY DANGEROUS and some guns are just too horrible to even think about. It doesn't matter who owns the guns. The guns THEMSELVES are evil. BAN THEM!!!

Some axes are dangerous, too. I want a ban.


You will find an axe attached to a bulkhead in most aircraft. It is suppose to be used for escape. Commerical airlines usually cover it with sound proffing or locate it where only the crew should have access to it. Small commercial aircraft usually have them located in the passenger compartment. Guess the ICAO rules have not caught up with reality.

Posted by: James Old Guy on September 29, 2004 12:57 PM

My upper body is relatively weak, but I make up for that with skill developed by many hours of splitting firewood. I can hit HARD with an axe, EXACTLY where I want to. I can swat flies with a splitting maul. If it was me taking a whack at some pilot sitting in a chair unawares, he wouldn't be "injured". His brains would be coming out his ass.

I suppose I should be euthanized, for the good of society.

Posted by: dipnut on September 29, 2004 02:55 PM

Guns don't kill people.

Bullets kill people. In particular, bullets moving at high velocity though vital organs kill people.

Posted by: Steve on September 29, 2004 06:21 PM

Well, Scotland is trying to ban "assault knives", not that I'm really sure what they're talking about, and I would think you could do just as much damage, if not more with a good kitchen knife if you know what you're doing....

So I supposeif they succeed the next step will be to ban all knives. Sigh.

Posted by: LibraryGryffon on September 30, 2004 02:33 PM

I wonder if that nutjob used a Fiskars axe. The ones made in Finland. They have a black plastic handle; they would certainly fit the description of an Assault axe. Ban 'em

Posted by: TheManFromUtopia on September 30, 2004 07:52 PM
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