September 28, 2004

blog-wimmen i love

I am a dirty old man. Sex and red toenails on pretty, feminine feet have been an obsession of mine since I was old enough to become obsessed, and that happened when I was five years old. I got an early start. I can't help it. I'm just hard-wired to be a pervert. I lust in my heart 24-7.

I'm going to list my sexy wimmen bloggers that I want to tangle the sheets with. The truth is, I want them ALL at ONE TIME so that my heart will explode right out of my chest and I'll die in a horrible pool of blood with a smile on my face and the bionic Roscoe still standing proudly. Hey! There are worse ways to go.

She probably would bitch about my smoking, but I'd do her if I ever got the chance. I might need to wear a fencer's outfit, complete with that wire mask to keep her from clawing my eyes out, but I'd go for it. I like dangerous wimmen.

This one is just too damned sweet. I believe, thanks to many years of research, that just underneath that veneer of sweetness lies a wildcat, waiting to be sprung from its cage. I'd call, "Kitty, kitty," to her.

I sent this one a picture of my butt and she never posted it in her butt-gallery photos. I am sorely insulted and nothing but a blow-job will EVER assuage my anger.

Yeah. twisted spinster, my ass. I would like to do some twisting and spinning with her.

It would be incest, since she is my blog-daughter, but everybody knows that vice is nice but incest is best. I'd jump her bones right away if she didn't left-cross-clock me first.

I've seen a picture of her red toenails. GRRRRR

This is a tall woman, but I think she'd be worth the climb.

I cannot possibly forget shell, even if she is planning to marry a non-grits-eating limey. If you have any pre-marital adventures you want to get out of your system, darlin,' just email me. I'll never say a word to Lionel.

Okay, I'm quitting right here. I probably offended the wimmen I did mention and also offended the wimmen I DIDN"T mention. I call that a good days work.