Gut Rumbles
 

September 21, 2004

gag! upchuck!

A few years ago, I was curled in a fetal position on a filthy mattress while sucking on an opium pipe somewhere in Asia. I nodded off and had a tumultuous dream. I saw a FLAMING ANGEL, who resembled Richard Simmons, descending from the ceiling with a bottle of vitamins in one hand and a pack of condoms in the other.

He frightened me. I wanted neither the vitamins NOR the condoms, but he wouldn't go away. He just hovered there in the air, flaming. "I bring a message to you, Rob," he said, with a slight lisp. "Hillary Clinton is the Anti-Christ!" And with those words, he vanished in a puff of smoke, taking his vitamins, but leaving the condoms behind.

I woke up in my own bed in my own house, and I realized that I've NEVER been to Asia and I've never been to an opium den in my life. Hmmm... where did THAT dream come from?

I figured it out. That was evil night-sprites coming out of the woods in the dark and penetrating the skylight to pour potions into my right-side-up ear. They were attempting to deceive me with magic.

But their tricks didn't work and their magic wore off. I no longer believe that Hillary Clinton is the Anti-Christ. She sits in a high chair on the left-hand side of the Black Throne, and she has a hungry look in her eyes, but she's NOT the Tall Dog.

Nope. I have identified the most likely candidate for the UNDISPUTED WORLD CHAMPION of antichristliness. I present the rich bitch. The "step-money."

Do you ever get the feeling that Mother Teresa believes that she is royal? I do. I also believe that she looks down her nose at "scumbags" and proles such as myself who disagree with her looney views. She's cultivated an incubus for a husband and she hopes to ride his flip-flopping coattails to a position of power, as First Lady.

If she gets there, she'll devour her husband first, then come after the proles. She'll have armies of flying monkeys doing her bidding. WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE!!!!! and the Black Throne will rule the world.

Verily I say, people. I have seen these facts in a vision.

Or maybe not.

Comments

Technically, John Kerry is an incubus.

Posted by: dipnut on September 21, 2004 02:55 PM

Sounds like a Hillary in the making if you ask me.

Posted by: Chris on September 21, 2004 03:10 PM

...and by describing herself as ``African-American'' to black audiences.

So?

"T" IS an African-American. She's from South Africa.

Do you think Black Americans in these audiences will now wake the fk up to how Victicrats segregate them from opportunity with misnomers and rhetoric about 'still being' slaves?

Don't hold your breath.

Posted by: horse with no-- on September 21, 2004 04:42 PM

My stepkids really don't like her advice to treat them like pets. On occasion I boot my misbehavin' dog in the ass, but if I booted my 20 yr old stepson on his ass, he'd deck me, deservedly so.

Posted by: cincysux on September 21, 2004 05:14 PM

heh... when [as if] she's gets to be first skeezer, that'll be all she wrote for hillary... she'll break hillary open like a shotgun and pound her nasty ass into the ground...

Posted by: Madfish Willie on September 21, 2004 08:22 PM

Just a test.

Posted by: Acidman on September 21, 2004 08:27 PM
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