September 13, 2004
I am about to bare my soul to whoever reads this blog. For as far back as I can remember in my life, I have experienced sexual fantasies about wimmen I saw on TV. Some of them weren't even SUPPOSED to be sexy, but they were to me. Here are my top 10:
#1. Elizabeth Montgomery as "Samantha" on Bewitched.
#2. Amanda Blake as "Kitty" on Gunsmoke.
#3. BOTH of those chicks on "Three's Company." AT ONCE.
#4. Barbara Eden as "Genie."
#5. Patty Duke, back in her "identical cousins" days.
#6. MORTICIA ADDAMS!!! YES!!!! I ADMIT IT!!!! SHE MADE ME HOT!!!!
#7. Donna Douglas as "Ellie May" on The Beverly Hillbillies. I kissed her once.
#8. Lucille Ball. I'd be a liar if I didn't say Lucy looked like a hot-blooded redhead in her younger days. Yeah... I'll just BET that she and Ricky slept in separate beds.
#9. Miss Nancy on "Romper Room" when I was a LITTLE boy. See how rotten I am? I wanted to jump through that Magic Mirror and grab a handfull of titty when I WAS FIVE YEARS OLD!!!
#10. Emma Peel from "The Avengers." (That was Diana Riggs, right?) Any man MY age who says he never fantasized about peeling Emma is either a got-dam liar or a faggot. Ow, man---that skin-tight black leather! That ass! Those legs!!!!
Excuse me. I need to go take a shower.
Morticia Addams? You sick bastard lol
Am I a sick bastard for wanting to do the Flying Nun? (Sally Fields)
I also wanted to do Goldie Hawn (Laugh In)
SHE wore the nipple clamps, I am told.
Marilyn on The Munsters! Kate Jackson when she was on Dark Shadows (and any other time, for that matter!), and Mary Tyler Moore...!
Alice, on the Brady Bunch. SHE wore the nipple clamps, I am told.
Just for the record, even I thought Morticia was gorgeous....
And, how are y'all discussing beautiful wimmin and no one has even mentioned Ann-Margret?
Jeez, guys.... talk about drop-dead gorgeous.
Noone else thinks that Markie Post circa Night Court was hot? Damn, I feel so alone. I, mean, sure; her character was a ditzy, left-leaning public defender, but damn she had a nice rack.
Aw, hell -- everything but the goofy 80's hair-dos. But at the age of 10, my fantasies were far from hindered by her hair.
Endora. And Lovey Howell. Think outside the box, I say. Dr. Bellows' wife. Larry Tate's wife. Even I draw the line at Lily Munster, however.
Little Joe Cartwright
sorry, can't get excited about wimmen.
But, if I could, yes, Ann-Margret.
Ditto 3, 4, 6, 7, 8 (I got to watch her get spanked many times). Concerning 1: For some reason Samantha did NOTHING for me, but the crazy brunnete played by the same actress still makes me sweat. 9 reminds me of The Buggles, remember the girl Buggle? I knew at 5 there was SOMETHING I wanted to do with her. 10 is true of all female British spies, something inherently very sexy about that whole archetype.
I'll toss in a vote for Suzanne Pleshette on the old Bob Newhart Show. Bob was/is great, but come on, how realistic was it for a shlub like that to have that hot a wife?
And how could anyone overlook Linda Carter, Wonder Woman??
I almost forgot to mention Donna Reed and whoever was her daughter on the show (later in some Elvis movies with Ann Margret I think). They're not related in real life, so it's OK to want them to tag team you.
Miss Barbara Stanwyck, getting bullwhipped in that cave by the Other Woman. Woo hoo. If only the other woman could have been Hazel.
Samantha was damn-fine. (And FYI, I'm only 22 - I wanted to tag in RERUNS).
Mary-Ann is hot.
Ellie May is hot (And I believe a seperate post is required on how you came about kissing her)
But you forgot Daisy Duke. How could you forget Daisy Duke?
1. Adrian Paul from the Highlander series. Ooo, that man still makes my tongue hard.
2. Vic Morrow back in the days of Combat! Damn. Even as a little girl playing soldiers in the back lot in base housing, I could appreciate that man.
3. Patrick McGooghan(sp) of Secret Agent Man and The Prisoner. Brit-o-licious.
4. Bruce Lee, when was Kato on the Green Hornet. Mmmmm... Must be those formative years in Hawaii that make me want a little Chop Suey once in a while.
5. Did I mention Neil Cavuto from Fox News? Sorry, he's got it all over Sean Hannity in my book.
6. Okay. I admit it. Bobby Sherman from Here Come the Brides. How could any pre-pubescent girl resist those big blue eyes?
7. And I know he was just a host on a Saturday Morning music show, just damn. Mark Lindsey of Paul Revere and the Raiders. That thick black hair, the beautiful Indian looks, and those tight pants. Cherokee Nation and Let Me burning up the airwaves?...Mrrrrrowr!
Zena AND Gabriel, together, at the same time. A Vixen-Sammich with me in the middle!
And Emma Peel? Always floated my boat.
And Morticia WAS hot. The original hot Goth chick. I bet she not only wore nipple clamps, Velociman, but was pierced as well. And not just on her nips.
Jane Hathaway. Yowurrrr!!!!
Don't get me started on Granny.
Velociman, admit it. Miss Brooks. In the locker room. With thigh-high leather boots and a riding crop.
Remember, they did have corporal punishment in High School back then... And office supplies.
Lynda Carter (THE standard)
Joanna Cameron as Isis (kids tv show)
D.J.M.B. you're not alone. Post fem-mullet Markie Post is a hot "MILF" even today
Rita Hayworth & Veronica Lake (oh for a time machine)
Rebecca De Mornay (classy whore)
Ellen Barkin (built for SLUT)
And both Bundy broads, Katey Sagal (Peggy) and the other one. whose name I remember but am too lazy to type.
Mama, yes. Eve Arden. What a hottie. I also like Punky Brewster, and Tootie. And the Olsen Girls, when the one isn't puking her carrot salad on me.
After many drunken hours arguing in college, my list:
Carolyn Jones, Morticia Addams
Karen Valentine, Alice Johnson from Room 222
Marcia Strassman, Julie Kotter
Suzanne Pleshette for sure.....
And,,,, last but never least,
Barbara Sharma (the red-head tap dancer at the end of Rowan and Martin's Laugh In)
Ok well what teen boy DIDN'T wish he could be Jack, with Janet and Crissy? Uh huh. Pretend to be gay, my arse! I'd be all over those two. 'Specially Crissy. Janet seemed kinda butch to me...
morticia addams, definitely. also, lily munster. but, then we can't forget laurie partridge and carol brady!!!
nothing wrong with fantasizing about tv ladies, or radio ladies for that matter. i fantasize about most ladies.
Maya from Space 1999. That was one saucy-assed shape-changing wereslut.
One chick that definitely didn't stand the test of time for me was Hot Lips from MASH. I thought she was hot when I was a wee lad; I think she reminded me of my 2nd grade teacher, who was the Holly Springs, GA version of the Harper Valley PTA scandal.
Ooo yeah, George Maharis. He was a hottie... but then again so was Randy Mantooth, Bobby Sherman, Micky Dolenz and Speed Racer.
Oh yeah, and for some twisted reason, when I was a kid I used to think Jonathan Frid (Barnabus Collins) was cute, too.
Stevie Nicks, in her prime.
Girls don't float my boat but I have to agree with Catfish--Stevie Nicks was DAMN fine!
Okay, guys, here's a good one...
Friggin' gorgeous, right?
Sorry. Clint Eastwood when he was on Rawhide. Lip-Smacking good!
Just about all the girls in hooterville( you know at the junction,,,, petticoat junction)
Dianna Rigg also starred in "The Hospital" with George C. Scott.
I thought she was sensational.