Gut Rumbles
 

August 24, 2004

a knock on the door

It was late and I was ready for bed. I heard a knock on my front door.

I thought that was strange, because I have a fully functional doorbell. Whoever was out there was knocking instead of ringing the bell. I grabbed a pistol, checked the load and turned on my porch light. I opened the door with one hand and a cocked pistol in the other.

I won't mention any names here, but I saw a hang-dog-looking fellow about my age standing there in the light. "Rob, can I crash here tonight? The old lady and I had a fight and she threw me out of my house. My keys are in there and she won't open the door." He WALKED all the way from his house to mine, and that wasn't a short distance.

I am not in the habit of taking in refugees at my house, but I made an exception this time. I knew the guy well (I ALSO knew his crazy wife) so I threw him a pillow and a blanket and told him that he could sleep on my couch. He did and I gave him a bacon and eggs breakfast plus a ride home the next day, when he and the crazy wife made peace and everything was fine.

What is it about wimmen that make them enjoy locking a man out of his own house? I had that happen to ME once, and my soon-to-be ex-wife already had all my clothes thrown into my truck.

I should have kicked the front door down and claimed what was rightfully mine.

Comments

You know, as mad as I've gotten, as much of an asshole as he's been sometimes, as much as I'd have rather cold-cocked him as looked at him, I've never pitched the Spousal Unit from the house. If I get mad enough to need a time out, I get in the car and drive off for a cool-down. Head to the mall, head to a bar, head to a friend's, hell, even head to the parents. But lock him out?

How childish can a woman get? It would take an awful lot to merit exile. Garden variety disagreements just simply don't rise to that level of crap.

Posted by: Mamamontezz on August 25, 2004 03:53 AM

Rather than open the door for a strange knock, consider installing a rotatable "frogs's eye" lens thingy. It adjusts so that no one can hide from its view and the locked door is far safer. Also, put a cover on it. The pigs use a reverse-frog's eye device that let's them look into rooms through the peephole..

Posted by: Pigs-n-frogs on August 25, 2004 06:44 AM

I've never thrown anyone out. Same with hurling clothes and belongings out into the yard. I don't have it in me to be that dramatic.

Banished to the couch is a different story.

My house is where people come who have been exiled.

Posted by: Anes on August 25, 2004 01:02 PM

I've left the house when i've been mad, but it never occured to me to make him leave.

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