Gut Rumbles
 

August 22, 2004

mushroom hunting

Yeah, I DID IT. I was young and dumb, full of cum, and I liked the way those things made me feel. They grow in cow pastures during the Southern summer and they spring up right out of cow turds after a good rain. You can recognize them by the purple band around the stem and the fact that they BRUISE purple if you squeeze the mushroom crest.

I've picked a 30-gallon garbage bag full of those things before.

We'd take 'em home (we were all crazy college students at the time. We didn't know which end was up.) and make a big pot of tea. Just wash the shit off the mushrooms, tie 'em up in a piece of panty hose (If you are in college now and DON'T have any panty hose around your room, you ain't enjoying college the way you should.) and boil it like you would a tea-bag.

Now comes the hard part. Remove mushrooms. Guess how potent the tea is. Cut it with sugar and Kool-Ade. Make several pitchers. Then... get a person that you KNOW is a complete dumbass stoner to try it first. You can watch him for 30 minutes and calculate how much of that crap YOU want to drink.

I haven't searched for mushrooms in more than 30 years now. I've helped farmers hang fence and I've toured many a cow pasture. I wasn't LOOKING for them at the time, but I believe that I could still spot one if I saw it. I simply have not seen a legitimate hallucengeic mushroom growing in a cow pasture for a long, long time.

Did the EPA get rid of them? Did the War On Drugs eliminate them? Where did they go?

Wherever it was, a part of my youth went with them.

Comments

Acidman...aka...Goofy Grape. Man, I've seen people eat 'em right out of the shit...raw!

Cool Runnings!

Posted by: Sam on August 22, 2004 04:05 PM

You forgot the best part, VOMITTING before the drug took effect, I don't tink I was told it was part of the deal till afterwards...I only did it once, I liked hunting for them way better then actually *doin* them. :Mrs Nancy was right, Just say *no*. :)

Posted by: Trease on August 22, 2004 04:16 PM

They are still alive and well in the Northwest! I used to like them raw. Takes too long to make tea out of them and I've never seen anyone vomit before the high.

Posted by: Langus on August 22, 2004 04:28 PM

I've seen people vomit and swear that they saw lizards coming out of their mouths.

Raw, or in tea, those mushrooms are NOT for the faint of heart.

Posted by: Acidman on August 22, 2004 04:48 PM

Those were the days, my friend. I ate them, when I lived in Statesboro Georgia, home of the Georgia Southern Eagles.

Posted by: Catfish on August 22, 2004 06:15 PM

One Sunday afternoon at Crystal Lake, about five miles south of Statesboro, I got fucked up on mushrooms and a orange VW bug was chasing me. Just another funny story of my old mushroom days.

Posted by: Catfish on August 22, 2004 06:33 PM

They were common in the counties surrounding Auburn University in the mid-seventies. Some of my Ag acquaintances told me they were indigenous to areas to the south of there and had unaccountably migrated northward during recent years, and not to expect them to last. I don't know how much of this is mycological BS, but the last time I saw any was in Louisiana in the mid-eighties.

Posted by: Brett on August 22, 2004 07:15 PM

Farmers spray for them now.

I boiled down a grocery bag full in 1978 I got from a field in Georgetown, before it was overdeveloped. Bioled and re-bioled until it was the consistency of 30-weight oil with 10,000 miles on it. Worst trip of my life. Every time I vomited monster faces would explode out of the commode. The Bride and I stayed in our apartment all night, too scared to venture out. The only thing on TV back then was Iggy Pop beating himself up on a video.

They're much mellower washed and eaten plain.

Posted by: Velociman on August 22, 2004 08:15 PM

I bought about 7 grams from a college kid about 2 years ago. He was studying mycology and growing them in his home. I learned my lesson that night after tripping worse then my previous 3-lsd experiences combined. No more, no thanks.

Posted by: Brendan on August 22, 2004 09:01 PM

Yep...me too. Central Fla. mid 70's.Severely underestimated the potency of a glass of that stuff...too late. I still believe I actually teleported off the planet for the next 12 hrs. or so. To this day I will not allow mushrooms of any kind near my food.

Posted by: eh on August 22, 2004 10:11 PM

I've never seen one in poo, just growing right out of the ground. These are the ones with the little blue dot in the middle? I heard that in some places they're only illegal if they're dried, because otherwise they're only suitable for personal use, not dealing it to other people.

Posted by: Dave Munger on August 23, 2004 12:45 AM

I've never seen one in poo...

Dave...
Why is it I keep happening to be the one to come in after you've made a comment about... that? (lmao...)

I'm still wondering where you work, from the last time/comment...
You are so cool... you always make me laugh, but what is it with this shit... pun intended? *giggle*

And, EH... "teleported off the planet..." love that. What a concept, especially in this context... I'm jealous, now, man... *grin*

Posted by: Stevie on August 23, 2004 11:59 AM

....listening to Genesis "Three Sides Live" and watching mindmovies on the ceiling all night long...........the crash was the worst ever. Once was enough.

Posted by: mike on August 23, 2004 12:15 PM
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