Gut Rumbles

August 17, 2004

not older, but better

Some wines, good bourbon and hand-made guitars get better with age. People don't.

What am I BETTER at now than I was when I was young? Let's think about that one... okay, I am a better writer than I was when I was young and I'm a lot better at crossword puzzles today. I've done enough traveling that I can find my way around ANY airport better than I once could. Wimmen don't intimidate me anymore. I am aware of my own mortality and that fact doesn't frighten me.

But... I can't run and jump and burn the candle at both ends the way I did when I was young. I don't kick as high anymore. I stay tired a lot. I was a weight-lifting 40-miles a week jogger in my younger days. I once was a stud-muffin and now I'm an old geezer.

Am I better in bed than I once was? No, I don't think so. I know how to please a woman better than ever, but youthful enthusiasm, all-night stamina and a ceaseless quest for adventure outweigh what I feel now about sex.

To tell you the truth... I would rather have a woman rub my aching back than give me a piece of ass. I've HAD a lot of ass. But a good back-rub is difficult to find. I'm getting kinda like that old farmer down the road from me. He says, "I tell my wife to promise me some every night. I don't GET it, but she promises me and that's good enough. Once I couldn't wait to have some. Now I always feel like I just had it."

Growing old is a bitch.


No shit

Posted by: James Old Guy on August 17, 2004 12:20 PM

Speaking of guitars, thought you might enjoy my slide show of a recent trip through the Martin guitar factory in Nazareth, Pa.:

p.s. That first guitar is the 1 millionth Martin ever made, by the way.

Posted by: rivlax on August 17, 2004 01:10 PM

When I was a young, sweet innocent, I used backrubs/massage as a substitute for sex. And I was good. I was even told by a well traveled older man that I was better than the erotic massage he had indulged in at a spot in Singapore back during his time in Viet Nam. And all I did was follow the Three Rules of Backrubs:

1. The back does not end at the waist. Some of the best places to massage are just over that hip bone, that long muscle that runs up and down either side of your backbone. Not to mention the backs of the thighs.

2. What works on the back also works on the front. Working over the shoulders from the front is relaxing and very pleasant. As is working the chest and down the belly. Bellies are nice.

3. If someone massaged you in a certain way and you liked it, try it on someone else. Pass along something you enjoyed. Maybe that person will return it.

Last time I did a full body massage, I even worked out to the tips of his fingers and toes. And I don't go for that painful massage nonsense either. If it hurts, you aren't doing it right.

And how do you know you've done it right? When that arm reaches up and that hand slides up behind your neck to pull your face down for a dark, deep, appreciative kiss. A "lip-sucker" that takes a few moments of recovery.

Posted by: Mamamontezz on August 17, 2004 01:19 PM

Great tips...
But, I also heard once, something about once you start, never break contact completely til you're done. Always maintain at least a touch at all times.

Is that true, or did I interpret it wrong?

Posted by: Stevie on August 17, 2004 03:33 PM

Amen to that Acidman. Growing old is a bitch. I think you're holding up pretty well though. :)

Posted by: Gennie on August 17, 2004 04:26 PM

That's absolutely right, Stevie. And at certain points, the more earthy the contact the better. When you're working on those shoulders, just straddle that fine muscular ass and settle down on it. the movements of your hips on his ass while you work those shoulders and back muscles is a massage in itself and will virtually guarantee a nice place to sit when you flip him over.

Posted by: Mamamontezz on August 17, 2004 05:38 PM

The older I get, my demands get even lower. Years ago, I would do anything for a piece of ass. Now that I am older and a little wiser, I would rather have a good meal and a cold bottle of beer. Shit Happens. Take care, Cat.

Posted by: Catfish on August 18, 2004 08:08 AM
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