Gut Rumbles

August 07, 2004

stopped by the cops

Recondo and I have been good boys on this trip. Well... we violated the speed limit a few times (the Snake demands to EAT), but we've had no alcohol in the car and sped like crazy ONLY when we had a straight road and nobody else around us. You get a lot of that in Montana.

For a long time, Montana had no speed limits. Montana has them now, but they are not necessary. We concluded after driving these VERY INTERESTING ROADS that the guy who makes the speed limit signs also runs a funeral parlor. He's generating business by telling you it's okay to go 75 when 65 is PLENTY fast enough.

We got behind an eighteen-wheel truck today and Recondo eased out to pass him. It was a straight stretch of road and 80 MPH seemed quite reasonable there. But Rick changed his mind and eased back behind the truck, which was doing 70 MPH. "That looks like a town up ahead," Rick said. "We'll pass him on the other side."

30 seconds later, we cruised by a State Patrol officer on the side of the road with his radar gun hanging out the window. We were still behind the truck, doing the speed limit. "Bejus!" Recondo said. "Sometimes the lord works in mysterious ways. I never saw that sumbitch. If I'd have passed that truck, he would have nailed me dead."

I agreed that it was an act of divine intervention until I looked in the side view mirror and saw the patrolman burning rubber in a U-turn to pursue us. "Rick, he's got a bug up his ass about something," I said. "I think he's coming after us."

About that time the blue lights came on and Recondo pulled over on the side of the road. He rolled down the window and removed his driver's license from his wallet as the patrolman approached the 'stang.' "How ya doing, officer?" Recondo asked. "What did I do wrong?"

The officer took Rick's license, glanced at it with a chagrined expression on his face and said, "Nothing, really. I saw that you didn't have a front license plate on the car and in Montana you have to have a plate on both ends. Then I saw your rear plate and I thought it was college booster thing. (Rick has a RANGER tag on the front of the Snake and a South Carolina Purple Heart "Wounded in Combat" plate on the back.) I didn't realize that you guys were foreigners."

"I ain't a foreigner!" Recondo exclaimed. "I'm from South Carolina!"

"I see that now, but those plates are foreign to Montana." The officer then proceeded to bullshit with us about how both his son and daughter went through Basic Training in South Carolina when they were in the army.

"Fort Jackson," Recondo said.

"Yeah, I think that was it," replied the patrolman. He handed Rick's license back. "Sorry to trouble you. Have a nice trip and enjoy Montana."

We pulled back out on the road, but Recondo drove a lot slower than he had been doing before. "I KNEW I didn't do anything wrong," he said. "But it ALWAYS scares the shit out of me when I get pulled over by the cops."

I think a lot of people have the same reaction.


I love cops... good people most of the time. But I just don't like to talk to them when they are in Uniform. When in Uniform they are agents of The State and I don't want to talk to agents of the state if you get my drift.

Posted by: Ogre on August 7, 2004 06:43 PM

I'm only wondering, when the cop is behind you and sees the SC tag, why did he still turn on the lights and pull you over? I have an uncle who was a police chief, a cousin killed in the line of duty in DC, friends who are state troopers; I still hate cops.

Posted by: CMNF on August 8, 2004 07:13 PM

Cops are tards. I mean no disrespect, in fact, the meaning of "tard" here is a state of mind that comes with the uniform, not a mental condition.

Cops have a difficult job and the same out-of-control State that makes the common man's life such a pain in the ass also puts cops in situations made deadly by politically correctness.

Cops are tards.

Posted by: horse with no-- on August 9, 2004 10:01 PM

I think the cop had his lights on before he saw the rear tag. Rick was already pulling over, so the cop had to go through the motions, even though he felt badly about doing it.

We bear him no malice.

Posted by: Acidman on August 11, 2004 01:34 PM
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