Gut Rumbles

June 26, 2004

simulated guns

Simulated guns are dangerous things and I believe that government needs to act NOW to ban them. If we had a law against pretending to have a simulated gun, this crime never would have happened.

Three people drove into the Fuel-N-Go gas station at 33100 Van Duyn Road about 11:35 p.m. in a Cadillac with California plates, police Chief Mike Hudson said. One man went into the store, simulated a gun in his sweatshirt pocket and demanded money.

After the clerk handed over about $200 in cash, the chief said, the robber threatened to kill her anyway. That's when the clerk pulled out her own handgun.

See? That's the REAL danger in carrying a simulated gun. When somebody pulls out the real thing, you're pretty well fucked. We don't teach this fact to our children, so a law against carrying a simulated gun is essential to protect the ignorant The Children.

The robber ran out of the store, and a male attendant fought with the robber, who again simulated a weapon. The female clerk fired one shot, breaking out the car's rear window, the chief said. The bullet lodged in the dashboard of the car.

At that point, the robber dove into the Cadillac, which took off as bills from the robbery floated through the air, the chief said.

A truck driver who saw the commotion called police. A Coburg police canine unit and officers from the Oregon State Police and Lane County sheriff's office stopped a Cadillac on Belt Line at Division Avenue.

That's what carrying a simulated gun will get you. You lose the back window out of your getaway car, lose some of the money from your robbery and end up in police custody with trained canines snapping at your balls. It's a sad story.

And it all could have been prevented if we only had a law banning simulated guns.


It was the store clerk's fault for having that enticing money in the till.

Posted by: CAULI4NYUN on June 26, 2004 06:04 PM

Next To Be Banned!

Mildltdisturbed's Simulated Brain

Posted by: wes jackson on June 26, 2004 11:18 PM

Being from that part of Oregon , I would not be suprised if the clerk was charged with a crime and the robbers were given a walk.

Posted by: G-MAN on June 28, 2004 05:37 PM

Cinemuck, n.:
The combination of popcorn, soda, and melted chocolate which
covers the floors of movie theaters.
-- Rich Hall, Sniglets
Credit Report

Posted by: Credit Report on November 21, 2004 06:51 AM
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