Gut Rumbles

June 23, 2004

he still makes my skin crawl

If I had to describe Bill Clinton in one word, it would be "asshole." I prefer "Self-Aggrandizing, Lying, Dick-Driven, Posturing, Pompous Asshole," but that's more than one word. Still, it's MY humble opinion of the man.

Go read this and tell me where I'm wrong. I feel compelled to make a few comments.

Speaking on a Panorama programme to be broadcast on Tuesday night, Mr Clinton accused the press of helping the far- right and liking "to hurt people".

He said the media cared more about the affair than the conflict in Bosnia.

No shit, Sherlock. Sex sells. Most people can't find Bosnia on a globe, but they know a Quest For Pussy when they see one. You held the highest office in the land and squandered your "legacy" for a whiff of quim. You cared more about a cigar and a 19 year-old intern than YOU did about Bosnia, you lying fuck. Does the term "self-control" exist in your vocabulary? How about "honor," or "duty?" No, I didn't think so.

Mr Clinton reacted after presenter David Dimbleby asked him why he had an affair with Ms Lewinsky when he knew he was under investigation by special prosecutor Kenneth Starr for other matters.

Wagging his finger and getting visibly agitated, Mr Clinton expressed anger at the media's behaviour.

See? It wasn't CLINTON'S FAULT! It was that nasty right-wing conspiracy that caught him with his dick in the wringer. Poor judgment, thinking with the wrong head and being a complete horn-dog asshole had nothing to do with it. I just hope the lying bastard never wags his finger at ME. I don't know where that elongated digit has been.

"And that's why people like you always help the far-right, because you like to hurt people, and you like to talk about how bad people are and all their personal failings.

I don't know, Bill. That quote sounds a lot like the motto of the Democratic National Committee. Cry me a river, as if you HAD NO personal failings. You fucked up, big time, over a piece of ass. You're not the first man ever to do that, but I expect more from a President. Everybody should.

It is believed that he even made time in his tight schedule to talk off camera to the Panorama team for 15 minutes after the interview ended.

I am amazed. Bill Clinton talked for 15 more minutes after the interview? That motor-mouth will be talking when his coffin is lowered into the grave. That's one of Bill's problems. He doesn't know when the fuck to shut up.

Mr Clinton also revealed that in the wake of the Monica Lewinsky affair he was banished to the sofa by his wife Hillary at home, while ordering bombing attacks on al-Qaeda at work.

BWHAHAHAHAHAAA!!! Did anybody besides ME fall on the floor laughing at that line? If the man had a genuine Southern wife, he'd have been dodging cast-iron frying pans and AFRAID to go to sleep for fear of suffering a Bobbitt in the night. Yeah, he stepped all over his dick, but still bombed al-Qaeda. Whatta man.

"I was just glad to be among the living there at home and frankly, perhaps I shouldn't acknowledge this, but it was a relief to have to go to work and concentrate on something else because otherwise I would have nothing to think about all day long but what a bad fella I'd been."

You damn sure didn't want to think about THAT, did you, Bill? You didn't think when you did it, because it wasn't the first time, and you don't like to think about it now. Tough shit. Actions have consequences. Accept YOURS, you whining prick.

I've always had a picture in my mind of Bill Clinton as a strutting drum major pretending to lead a band. He high-steps and waves his baton as long as he's out front. If he band turns the corner and leaves him alone in the street, he just dashes down the nearest alley, emerges in front of the band again and keeps on strutting. He did that posturing act for eight years in the White House.

And he hasn't changed a bit since.

(UPDATE: More on the same thing here)


Frankly, I wish the man would just shut the fuck up and crawl off under a rock some place!

Posted by: Bob on June 23, 2004 09:18 AM

Bill Clinton viewed the Presidency as a neat way to meet women. I lived in Arkansas during his Governorship, and his antics were well-know even then.

Posted by: Mike on June 23, 2004 09:40 AM

Can't remember who said it or the exact wording:

"If I had done what Bill Clinton has done, I would be lying in a pool of my own blood, looking up, watching my wife reload."

Posted by: Rob @ L&R on June 23, 2004 09:52 AM

Of all the women available in Washington he chose Monica, at least Kennedy had good taste. Wonder who would have been president if women did not have the right to vote? My ex girlfriend voted for GW because he was cuter than AL.

Posted by: James Old Guy on June 23, 2004 11:48 AM

Without the booming economy that he didn't create to hide behind, Ol' Bill doesn't look like much now, does he?

thank god we get this asshole's hype out of the way now instead of when he croaks.

Posted by: horse with no-- on June 23, 2004 12:02 PM

"Actions have consequences. Accept YOURS, you whining prick."

[laughs gently]

Posted by: RoguePlanet on June 23, 2004 01:35 PM

Hmmmmm his legacy? How about all the kids in JR and senior high school who think a blowjob is not *really* sex? Now there is something as leader of the free world you can be proud of leaving behind

What an asshole.

Posted by: Guy S. on June 23, 2004 02:05 PM

Of all that blathering jerk's reprehensible behavior during his self-serving life, the act I will NEVER forgive is this: While many of his (my) peers got jerked out of their lives into a 3rd World shithole soiree in SE Asia, he ACTIVELY sought to avoid duty. Dad taught me that honorable men don't do that. That would make W.J. Clinton dishonorable....yep,
that's eggs-actly what he was & remains to this day.

Posted by: CAULI4NYUN on June 23, 2004 05:18 PM

Rob, I swear that until I actually hauled my lazy mouse back up to the top of the post and CLICKED on the stupid link, I was completely convinced that you had accidently mistaken someon's parody for reality. I swear.


Tee hee.

-Yankee Bloke

Posted by: Yankee Bloke on June 23, 2004 06:10 PM

Well, the good Congressman put it more poetically and pithily, but I swear it ocurred to me and all other Southern boys first. That is, a Southern gal wouldn't have married him in the first place, and had she done so by mistake, you betcha there would have been a pool-of-blood-and-speedloader incident when she found out what was up.

I mean, my Momma was from Mississippi, and those gals take that stuff seriously. If the pistol wielded by the aggrieved wife held five cartridges, you could count on the defaulting husband to have at least twelve holes in him.

Which makes me think, Rob, your ex must have rancid d-yankee blood in her veins, siccing the law on you rather than going after you herself.

Wait; she cheated on you! Damn! Did you know, that up until about,maybe 1972, had y'all been living in Texas and you'd walked in on her adultery, and shot them both dead on the spot, the judge was required to instruct the jury to acquit?

Of course it wasn't all that long ago that any jury anywhere in this country would acquit you for that.

Posted by: Justthisguy on June 24, 2004 08:13 PM


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