June 08, 2004

crisis at the crackerbox

I MUST go to the store today. I used my last can of Raid this morning.

Yeah, ants made another invasion of my domicile and attacked my kitchen trash can this time. I gassed them until I ran out of ammo. I probably killed 100,000 of the little shits, but my blood was up and I wasn't satisfied.

I went to my garage, opened a 20-pound bag of Ortho ant killer and treated my entire yard. I paid special attention to every mound or ant-burrow I saw. I used the entire 20-pound bag and I imagine that I wreaked enough havoc and devastation on the ant population to keep them at bay for a couple of days. But they'll be back. They ALWAYS come back.

You know what REALLY made spreading ant-killer on my yard just tons of fun? While I was killing ants, the goddam deer flies attacked me from every direction. Those nasty-assed, flesh-rending bastards tore me up. They had mosquitos running interference for them, too, and I was wearing nothing but a pair of cut-off blue-jeans, presenting a very appetizing target. I was damn near eaten alive before I got back inside.

Ah... life in the South...

Comments

Yeah, the South. I wouldn't live anywhere else. Good job over at Eric's crib!!

Posted by: Sam on June 8, 2004 12:05 PM

Rob, let me introduce you to a fine product from the mischevious folks over at Raid.

It's called Raid Fumigator. It is not an aeresol "bomb". Get that outta your mind.

The aforementioned "bomb" products just spray a cloud of fine-misted droplets that go up, stay in the air about five minutes and then slowly drop down and coat everything with a film of slime.

Fumigator conversely, is smoke. It looks not unlike a taller, narrower Sterno can. You put a few tablespoons of water into the heat-resistant plastic cup it's packaged in, drop; the Fumigator can back into the cup, and a wonderful chemical reaction soon takes place.

Clouds and clouds of billowing, aromatic, deadly smoke issue forth. Microscopic particles penetrate absolutely everywhere, and the smoke hangs in the air for a good hour or more.

Put one in every room, and two in the attic.

Just remember to call the Fire Department first, and tell them to ignore the calls they'll get that your house is on fire.

You won't have any bugs for quite a long time after that, especially with simultaneous attacks like you've just effected in your yard.

Jim
Sloop New Dawn
Galveston, TX

Posted by: Jim on June 8, 2004 01:10 PM

We get ants every year in our bathroom. We use a product from Bayer it's in a spray bottle, and the bottle is blue. We only have to use it once and it gets the job done. You can get it a Lowes or Home Depot

Posted by: Brandy on June 8, 2004 02:14 PM

I grew up in Florida (mosquitos) and North Carolina (everything that ever flew or crawled.)

I now live in the Desert Southwest. Its hot, but there are a damned site fewer bugs.

I don't think I could have moved here directly from Florida - not enough water. But after the North Carolina piedmont, it's heaven.

Posted by: Kevin Baker on June 8, 2004 06:20 PM

Florida? Only Mosquitos?! Gah theres more bugs in North Central Florida than people by a factor of several hundered thousand.

NC, from when I've visited (alot) doesn't have a chance of comparing to Florida on the bug factor, at least on the balance of the extended bug season here, anyway. Yellowflies. Mosquitos. Palmetto Bugs. Garden Spiders (why do they call them that. They always end up on my face when walking through a damn field, not my garden). Gnats. Flies (we live in dairyville, so..) heck, driving down the road sometimes you wonder if its raining. Then you realize your window is getting clobbered with bug guts. Bugs in NC? you jest, surely.

Mix that in with the humidity and our lovely three seasons:

Decent- 3 weeks a year, MiserableHot: 6 months a year, and Stay - Inside - with - the - air - on - or - you - will - simultaniously - drown - and - burn: The remaining balance of 5 months 1 week, or whatever that calculates to.

Oh and did I say anything 'bout the bugs?

I'll trade NC for FL any day :-P

Posted by: Buddy on June 8, 2004 10:08 PM

Oh, and I left out 'love bugs'

I hate them sum-beeches, but at least they've been light this year. So far.

Posted by: Buddy on June 8, 2004 10:11 PM

Buy ten pounds of Amdro and circle the house like a fucking voodoo Santeria chicken sacrifice altar. Avoid the temptation to sniff any. I can attest it burns!

Posted by: Velociman on June 8, 2004 10:29 PM

You bet your burnt ass they are back. That wisecrack you made about them totally gave them the power.The mind is a powerful thing but if there is any negative force it's can't do the job. Sorry I tried. Not my problem.IThis is my last attempt at unconditional thought. I'm just pissing in the wind.

Posted by: Lexia on June 8, 2004 11:12 PM

Posted by: MILF Whore on July 19, 2004 12:01 AM

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June 08, 2004

crisis at the crackerbox