Gut Rumbles
 

April 21, 2004

my trip

I was supposed to leave tomorrow on a nice trip to sunny beaches and a land of bikini-clad, red-toenailed wimmen. I called yesterday and rescheduled my arrangements. I remain too sick to travel right now.

Besides, I worry about a flare-up of what put me in the hospital. I don't want to get too far away from American medical care. The LAST thing I want is to be feverish, in pain and lying on a filthy cot while some local "doctor" waves chicken feathers over my head and does a voodoo dance to rid my body of evil spirits. I'll take the demerol and the antibiotics every time.

I went to the Huddle House for breakfast this morning and couldn't finish a plate of two scrambled eggs, grits and toast. I managed to choke some of the food down, but it was an effort. I ate about half of it. The doctors told me to eat five small meals every day until I get my strength back. I defrosted two bags of boiled peanuts last night. I can make five small meals off of that stash.

They did a number on my arms in the hospital. I have big, dark bruises and needle-marks from both elbows down to my hands. I look like Fido's ass. I FEEL like Fido's ass, too, but it's not as bad as it was. I really AM on the road to recovery.

I haven't worn a watch since the day I left work for the last time, but I put one on this morning. The damn thing dangled from my wrist like a high school charm bracelet. I shook my arm once and the watch slithered off my wrist and hit the floor. I left it there. I don't need a got-damn watch anymore. I need to gain back the 20 pounds I lost in the past month. I am a walking skeleton and I get winded just gimping to my mailbox and back. I am not accustomed to being sick.

The ulcers and the pancreatitus were caused by a combination of stress, too much to drink and not enough to eat. The doctor's still don't know what's causing the numbness in my hands and feet, but they suspect some sort of weird viral infection. If I'm not better in a week, they want me to go see a specialist. Thank Bejus I kept my health insurance from work.

Okay, that's enough of sitting on my pity-pot. I'm going to look around for something in the news to piss me off now.

Comments

Sorry, Mr. Smith but our records indicate that your retirement medical coverage requires preapproval for multiple chicken feathers and filthy cots are an extra charge.

Sincerely

Your former company

Posted by: jim on April 21, 2004 12:53 PM

My first thought was, "But, what if the chicken feathers come with nekkid, flappin' boobies during the dance ritual?'
Then, your last two sentences made me laugh my ass off.
I jes' LUV you when you get like this....

You go, Babe!

I'll be back later to look for the potential rant.
Glad ya feel better!

Posted by: Stevie on April 21, 2004 03:59 PM

Rob,
Your shortness of breath, numbness in hands and feet sound just like I did back in Oct.
Here is what happend to me.
Don't muck around, have it all checked out to see whats wrong.
Jerry

Posted by: Jerry on April 21, 2004 05:32 PM

"The LAST thing I want is to be feverish, in pain and lying on a filthy cot while some local "doctor" waves chicken feathers over my head and does a voodoo dance to rid my body of evil spirits."


So I guess Canada is out?

Posted by: rightisright on April 21, 2004 08:31 PM

Did they check your B12 and folate?

Don't take folate pills if you are B12 deficient!

Posted by: joel on April 21, 2004 09:21 PM

Rob, I don't know what your doctor told you, but if you're having digestive problems, you really shouldn't be eating any kind of nuts, or chocolate, anything with caffeine, or anything fatty like whole milk. Those are all things that are really hard to digest. That's what they told me when I had gallstones. Of course, I told them what they could do with their diet. I'm not giving up cheese for anyone!

Posted by: Denise on April 22, 2004 03:29 AM

Rob, I don't know what your doctor told you, but if you're having digestive problems, you really shouldn't be eating any kind of nuts, or chocolate, anything with caffeine, or anything fatty like whole milk. Those are all things that are really hard to digest. That's what they told me when I had gallstones. Of course, I told them what they could do with their diet. I'm not giving up cheese for anyone!

Posted by: Denise on April 22, 2004 03:29 AM

My daddy found out he had diabetes a couple of years ago and the man has no vices really but he loves his candy. He's a two fisted ice cream sandwich eater. My momma was hounding him about his diet and he's such a mild mannered guy and he never gets angry but after a few months..he said, "look here woman...I ain't giving up oreos, ice cream sandwiches or my pixie sticks for nobody or no reason"..he's so cute.

Posted by: sandy on April 22, 2004 10:57 AM
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