Gut Rumbles

March 06, 2004

a piss test

Have YOU ever had one? I've had plenty and I bitched about every one.

The Medical Department calls your boss, and it's his job to escort you to the testing ground. You dump everything out of your pockets, then piss in a jar while a security guard watches. The nurse takes the temperature of your urine (to make sure that it's fresh) and then she seals the jar with a red band. She signs one place, you sign another, and the security guard signs the third line.
That jar is shipped off to a lab to be tested.

That shit is the most humiliating thing I've ever been through before prostate surgery.

I know about "drug-free" workplaces and all the Workman's Comp benefits that come with it. I still say that my privacy was invaded. If you find me fucked-up on the job, drag me out of the ranks and fire me. Just DON'T subject me to the dog-and-pony show a piss-test is. I never failed one, but that's not the point.

I don't believe in taking them.