Gut Rumbles
 

February 27, 2004

i feel safer already

Here's another glorious victory for MADD, which has morphed from an organization based on a good cause into a goddam temperance movement. Another one bites the dust.

Our Puritanical roots grow deep in this country. We have a lot of people in government and activist organizations who simply don't want anyone having a good time. Just look at the painting, "American Gothic." See the dour expressions and the down-turned lips? THOSE are the people who refuse to admit that some people don't see life the same way they do. To them, life is SUPPOSED to suck, and if it doesn't, they'll pass a law making sure that it does.

Fuck 'em. They are the people behind the War on (some) Drugs, gun control, anti-smut laws, flag-burning amendments and every other pucker-butted, be miserable all the time idea we have floating around out in society today. They are making the country a better place by being total, intolerent assholes. Yep. That idea works every time. Such thinking always improves the world.

I have been advised by several lawyers to NEVER take a field sobriety test if pulled over by the cops. Try one when you're sober as a judge (at least SOME judges). You'll fail every time. Take the blood test instead. You get a real test result from that experience, not some bullshit about "he staggered," or "her speech was slurred."

I am not an advocate of driving drunk. But that .08 BAC limit is bullshit and it always has been. It's a perfect example of the Federal Government sticking its nose into a place where it never belonged. Thank you, Lizzie Dole, you little Hitler.

When I was in Atlanta and I bought those soldiers a round of drinks, I asked one of them if he was old enough to have a beer in the bar. That's a hoot, isn't it? He's old enough to go risk his life in combat for his country in a place halfway around the world, but if he's not 21, the bastard can't drink a beer before he boards an airplane taking him into harm's way.

That's pure American Gothic.