Gut Rumbles

February 10, 2004

so it goes

I guess I fucked up a good thing. Life is like that.


Just to be clear, you didn't fuck up your chances of a repeat "encounter," because that was not gonna happen regardless. You just fucked up a friendship and caused hurt needlessly.

Posted by: dragonfly jenny on February 10, 2004 12:06 PM

Real Friends forgive fuckups and go on with life. But those are just my friends, the ones that I would do the same for.

Posted by: james old guy on February 10, 2004 12:44 PM

Aww Jeez.... come off of it lady.

He was complimentary as all hell. He put you up on a pedestal, and in his own way (awkward as all us guys really are) shared that he felt feelings beyond just the physical for you. In return you (a) shat on him by calling the night a "mistake"; (b) debased yourself by publically posting that you have so little self control that a "moment" can cause you to fall into intimacy; and (c) made a federal case out of something that was, if ungentlemanly (in the "don't kiss and tell" way), stood nevertheless as an honest and open overall set of accolades to you.

Plus, he didn't identify you in the post. You did that with your comment.

Like the other poster said, friends forgive. Give it some thought. You, and he, seem to have been through some stuff. Don't take your baggage out on him, even if he's allowed his baggage to hurt you. (Do you actually think he made his post do debase or hurt you in any way? Where do you find support for evidence of such a motive?).

Live and let live, Gonzo.

Posted by: Gonzo on February 10, 2004 12:58 PM

Gonzo, check for polyps while your head is up there.

Posted by: Joan of Argghh! on February 10, 2004 01:26 PM

I have watched this from day one, and I was days ahead of everyone else figuring things out at the beginning . . .

However, while I certainly believe in forgiveness, and I hope the appropriate apology is forthcoming, I also understand that "wimmen" do not become intimate unless they believe the meaning of the word is to be upheld.

Intimacy is supposed to be intimate--be it once, or for life. Bragging about sex is hardly intimate.

Rob fucked up. He is halfway home in admitting that fact. Now--his apology should cross the cyberwaves.

And now, I shall return to my hermitage.

Posted by: jb on February 10, 2004 01:30 PM

The way I see it. We all know how Rob likes to talk about sex, wimmen, dicks and other body parts. We also know how he likes to write about making love along with other things. When Rob speaks, he speaks from the heart.
With that said, it's not like the women didn't know what she was getting herself into. If she wanted the info kept quiet, she should have warned him to keep his mouth shut when they returned home. Then none of this would have been posted.'s not like we are going to bump into one another at the supermarket.
Rob I liked what you had to say and it was written with respect and feelings. This is one reason I read your blog. Keep on speaking from your heart, anything else wouln't be the Rob we know from cyber world.

Posted by: becky on February 10, 2004 03:08 PM

There was nothing wrong with your post. Since your traveling companion already admitted she'd made up her mind there was NEVER going to be another encounter I am left to wonder if her injured feelings are just a way to manipulate you.

You posted some odd things the week you returned and I wondered if she was jerking you around then. What sophomore thinks that two adults wouldn't have had sex on a trip like that? Your post was more than gracious. On your next trip you might consider letting your readers vote on who to travel with, after looking at her blog she would have been my last choice for you.

Posted by: Sherry on February 10, 2004 03:43 PM

In response to the above, including the allegation that I suffer from cranial / rectal inversion, consider this:

1. Intamacy IS supposed to be intimate. So, I am personally forced to wonder why the "victim" of Rob's insensitivity didn't e-mail him in private and ask that he take the post down. I dare say that Rob would have both apologized and deleted said post.

2. Instead, she decided it would be better to characterize as a mistake the intimate time they had together. Sorry, toots, but you aired your own dirty laundry there. Rob should know, of course, that you get what you give, but I maintain the "victim" did more damage to herself in belittling the moments they shared than if she had simply contacted him and privately asked for an apology and removal of the post.

3. Finally, I concur fully with the post just above that Rob's propensity for openness and in your face "this is the way it is" stuff was well known to any readers of this blog, inclusive of his lady friend.

4. In the end, I guess I'm puzzled. Rob complemented her on her body, expressed happiness that he was able to share a moment with her, and didn't trash her at all in my view. I dare say plenty of women would have taken his post as complimentary. From her posts, I have no choice but to gather that her main problem was that she wished the encounter hadn't happened, and Rob's honesty about it denied her the ability to engage in denial. But what do I know.

In the final analysis, Rob fucked up, but he comes across as not having intended it, and she comes across not so well.

I'm out. (back to super duper lurk mode).

Posted by: Gonzo on February 10, 2004 04:04 PM

Oh come on, Gonzo. No woman wants private details of her sex life on the internet, no matter how complimentary the sex partner may be. A woman is a private creature, and if men want to get to know a woman better, maintain a friendship, or anything else, the cardinal rule is: Don't discuss your sexual activities with her with anyone else.

It seems to me that guys think a sex life is something that should be talked about with buddies, and women are exactly opposite. At least the women I know are.

Posted by: Renee on February 10, 2004 06:40 PM

Hey Renee.........Don't even try that "girls don't talk " I know better..... and any honest woman will own up! I've heard a lot more detail while sitting in the other room from a gaggle of wimmen then I've heard from an entire locker room full of men!

Posted by: wes jackson on February 10, 2004 07:25 PM

OK, y'all, step back from the piss and moans for a bit and look at the man here: Rob, alone of dozens of bloggers I've read, has the desire to not only live life large, but to write about living life large and share it with readers. There are no Marquis de Queensbury rules in blogging. We should all admire the total man that Rob is, not pick him apart for perceived indiscretions. That's the way you look at artists, if you appreciate art.

Cut him some slack. I, for one, would miss him if he left.

Posted by: Rivrdog on February 10, 2004 07:41 PM

One question:

Is she a three-input woman?

Posted by: TonyG on February 10, 2004 07:53 PM

I'll tell the truth.........women TALK about sex! I used to work night shift in labor and