Gut Rumbles

February 01, 2004

go, granny!

I'm looking for a link to conform this story, but even it's not. true, it ought to be.

MELBOURNE, Australia --

Gun-toting granny Ava Estelle, 81, was so ticked-off when two thugs
raped her 18-year-old granddaughter that she tracked the unsuspecting
down - - and shot off their testicles.

The old lady spent a week hunting the ex-cons and when she found them,
she took revenge on them in her own special way, said Melbourne police
investigator Evan Delp.

Then she took a taxi to the nearest police station, laid the gun on
the sergeant's desk and told him as calm as could be: 'Those bastards
will never rape anybody again, by God.' ; Cops say convicted rapist
and robber Davis Furth, 33, lost both his penis and his testicles when
outraged Ava opened fire w ith a 9-mm pistol in the hotel room where he
and former prison cellmate Stanley Thomas, 29, were holed up.

The wrinkled avenger also blew Thomas' testicles to kingdom come, but
doctors managed to save his mangled penis, police said.

The one guy, Thomas, didn't lose his manhood, but the doctor I talked
to said he won't be using it the way he used to, Detective Delp told

Both men are still in pretty bad shape, but I think they're just happy
to be alive after what they've been through.

The Rambo Granny swung into action August 21 after her granddaughter
Debbie was car jacked and raped in broad daylight by two
knife-wielding creeps in a section of town bordering on skid row.

"When I saw the look on my Debbie's face that night in the hospital, I
decided I was going to go out and get those bastards myself 'cause I
figured the Law would go easy on them, "recalled the retired library

took place till she spotted the ill fated
rapists entering their flophouse hotel."And I wasn't scared of them, either -- because I've got me a gun and
I've been shootin' all my life. And wasn't dumb enough to turn it in
when the law changed about owning one. So, using a police artist's
sketch of the suspects and Debbie's description of the sickos',
tough-as-nails Ava spent seven days prowling the wino-infested
neighborhood where the crime

I know it was them the minute I saw 'em, but I shot a picture of 'em
anyway and took it back to Debbie and she said sure as hell, it was
them, the oldster recalled.

So I went back to that hotel and found their room and knocked on the
door and the minute the big one, Furth, opened the door, I shot 'em
right square between the legs, right where it would really hurt 'em
most, you know.

Then I went in and shot the other one as he backed up pleading to me
to spare him. Then I went down to the police station and turned myself

Now, baffled lawmen are trying to figure out exactly how to deal with
the vigilante granny. What she did was wrong, and she broke the law,
but it is difficult to throw an 81-year-old woman in prison,
Detective. Delp said, especially when 3 million people in the city
want to nominate her for sainthood and a medal.

Of course, the strory does have urburand legent written all over it. I post, you decide.


Here's the answer you're looking for.

Posted by: Michael Demmons on February 1, 2004 09:11 AM

Forgot to close your 'blockquote', eh ???

Posted by: MommaBear on February 1, 2004 09:55 AM

Too many "American-isms" and no "Aussie-isms" to be true. Besides, I live in Melbourne and can assure you it just didn't happen.

BTW, FYI "Melbourne" is pronounced "melbun" with the "bun" somewhat slurred and the accent on the "mel".

"Mel-born" or "Mal-born" or "Mel-burn" are all incorrect.

Posted by: Bushy on February 1, 2004 08:28 PM

Not true - check

Posted by: GrumpyBunny on February 3, 2004 11:26 AM
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