Gut Rumbles
 

January 21, 2004

ACIDMAN NEEDS AN INTERVENTION

Stubborn bastard has gone soft. He's pure slush. Mr. Grammar nazi isn't even bothering to fix his obvious typos.

His writing is slurred, his speech is slurred, and he is likely sitting in a puddle of his own drool as we speak, that is if he hasn't already reached a valium-induced vegetative state.

Apparently he IS still capable of dialing numbers on the telephone, although he will admit that the first two times that he attempted to call, he received a disconnected message. Jeez man! Pull yourself together.

So, why did he call? I don't know; maybe he was responding to my accusation that he left his fucking brain in Jamaica, or my comment on his post about being fucked up last Thursday, which--for some dumb reason--appears to have been the highlight of his trip.

I know it's rough, man. I do. You were in a tropical paradise with an easy-going babe that I'm not allowed to link (even though she REALLY deserves a link for putting up with a week of Acid-crap.) And then you had to crash back down to the sad truth, that which we all know and love as reality.

Could you THINK about your readers for a minute? Huh? A minute, okay?

WE had to live without your intelligent yet asswitted, insightful yet oblivious, ALWAYS assertive, NEVER humble, opinion and words for an ENTIRE week.

AS IF that weren't horrible ENOUGH, we also had to spend said week in a virtual litter box THAT DESPERATELY NEEDS TO BE CHANGED.

LET'S MAKE A DEAL
What will it take to get you back? Will you end the strike if she puts your sexy topless photo back in place?

Okay, brothers and sisters of the blog, for those of you that think I'm exaggerating about Pappy, here's a couple of quotes, "I'm nootta stubbborrn baasstaard; I'ma melllooow baastaard..."

In response to the mess on his blog, "Well, I'm fuuucked up." Well, I guess so. If I took SIX of these, I would be too!

Enough's enough! Get fucked up on your own time. Do your homeowork first. Don't tell me, "Write. dammit" if I take a DAY off, and then run off to la-la land all week.

I know I'm not the only one that's noticed. This place feels weird. It's all quiet and weird. WAKE UP! I could go on, but I won't. I'm lecturing. I intended to throw a pep rally, but, hey, I'm no cheerleader.

Will all 2000 of you please comment below, and demand the return of the Spunky Monkey? (Or whatever it is that you'd like to see a little more of from the man...)

Comments

I'm in full agreement with the owner of this blog. Fuck the cats. It's juvenile bullshit. Perhaps they will all catch some sort of SARS for fucking cats and the owners will spend hundreds of dollars at the vets for them...only for them to die in the end. Now that would be a cat post worth reading about.

Posted by: G-Dub on January 21, 2004 10:16 PM

I agree with you, Key, he does need intervention if he took six of those pills. Immediately.

Posted by: Ms Anna on January 21, 2004 10:48 PM

this hilarious.

Posted by: jason on January 21, 2004 10:51 PM

Yep, this place is wierd now.

Personally, I don't give a flying fuck if you blow your brains out with a .44 mag, sniff a half ounce of nose-bags in 5 minutes or drink 2 quarts of Everclear to do the job. Just do it and get it over with.

Unless you still care about your offspring. If you do, you had better step the fuck up to the plate and stop being such a selfish asshole.

My 2 cents.

Posted by: rightisright on January 21, 2004 11:04 PM

Repeat after me:
"moderation"
"time and place for everything"
"moderation"
"time and place for everything"

Miss your writing.

Posted by: jj on January 21, 2004 11:08 PM

Well, on one hand the man did deserve a break. Don't beat him up so bad, Key.

On the other hand, yes, I do agree. This blog has become strange, to say the least.

I miss the old Acidman. Bring him on!

Posted by: Gina on January 21, 2004 11:36 PM

id be pissed off too if i left someone to watch my shit while i was away and came home to find crap i dont like everywhere. then again maybe hes ready to quit. or he could be just fuckin with us.

Posted by: roger on January 21, 2004 11:39 PM

Rob its time to wake up from the fun Even I miss the old Rob Love GA.

Posted by: Georgia on January 21, 2004 11:44 PM

Funny, in my circles it was the convention that the people who pulled the practical joke cleaned up after themselves.

Posted by: Robin Roberts on January 21, 2004 11:52 PM

I love practical jokes, too. Even the cat bombing. That said, I'm with Robin Roberts on this one.

TIme for the housecleaning, M'dme Goddess. It's the right thing to do.

And Rob? Shake it off, man..... walk off the pain, just grab your face mask instead of your nuts. Remember, success is the best revenge.

Get back to playing above your weight.


Jim
Sloop New Dawn
Galveston, TXkk

Posted by: Jim on January 22, 2004 12:06 AM

Acidman???

Posted by: DogsDon'tPurr on January 22, 2004 12:33 AM

Jim, I was a wee bit busy there for a few days.

Posted by: Da Goddess on January 22, 2004 12:38 AM

Acidman, do you want to live to see Quinton grown-up strong and independent? He needs his daddy, his responsible daddy.

Posted by: Ms Anna on January 22, 2004 05:50 AM

And it looks great now, DG.

Posted by: Robin Roberts on January 22, 2004 08:47 PM

Hi...I´m just surfed in and want to say hello!
Regards George


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