Gut Rumbles

January 07, 2004


Why are so many wimmen obsessed with boobs? I was watching that Cinemax semi-porno movie the other night when Recondo and Georgia were here, asleep on my couch, and I really wondered about that question. Every woman I saw in the movie had surgically-enhanced boobs.

Hell, I could LOOK AT THEM and tell that they weren't real. They defied gravity. I don't understand the dilemma here. Yeah, some guys like to gawk at big tits, but they are full of shit. Why would a woman want undergo plastic surgery to please a guy like that? That's aiming pretty low, sister.

I like a nice ass and pert nipples. I like red toenails and a spirit of adventure. I like a woman with a smart head on her shoulders. I like wimmen who enjoy sex and partake of it in totally uninhibited fashion, then DO NOT feel guilty afterward. I couldn't care less about what's on her chest. It's her heart and her head that I care about.

Jennifer always told me that if she ever made enough money, she was going to get a tit-job. I never could understand why she thought that way. Her boobs were beautiful to me.

But I'm just a guy. What do I know about this shit?


I don't get it either. To me surgery is for when you have to have a gall-bladder removed or something -- in other words, it's for when you are sick. Then again, maybe some sort of sickness is involved. I don't think it's one that can be cured by the knife, though.

Posted by: Andrea Harris on January 7, 2004 07:42 PM

Its a female issue. No matter how good we look, it's not enough. There is always room for improvement.

Posted by: Anna on January 7, 2004 07:49 PM

It's amazing to me that so many women consider themselves so ugly that they have to surgically or otherwise unnaturally "improve" what they believe is wrong. Boob jobs, botox, face lifts; none make sense to me. Especially when so many things can go horribly wrong.

Posted by: G-Fry on January 7, 2004 08:08 PM

Back in the mid 80's I went on a trip to Las Vegas. At the dinner/show where the headliner was Sharo (you know the houchey-chouchey woman?), I was seated in the second chair from the stage at a dinner table set-up perpindicular to the stage. I was so close that I could see the surgery scars under the breasts of every dancer that "danced" in front of us. Some of them were streatched so badly, that if I were them, I'd have had plastic surgery to get rid of the scars! Every woman had scars of some kind from their breast enhancement surgery!!!

Posted by: Ms Anna on January 7, 2004 08:37 PM

Then there are the few of us who just want to look normal. In my case, life-saving surgery as an infant caused my problem. However, I'll never actually GET the implants because of the problems with them. As I've grown up I've come to accept that I look difference, and appreciate the fact that it means that I'm alive. But I'll forever hear the taunts of other kids who knew that I wasn't normal, and could care less that it was because of this life-saving surgery.

Another woman probably would have the surgery...I think I'm lucky that I've been able to accept that I don't look normal.

What bothers me though is that everyone assumes that it's purely cosmetic, and for some women, it's not; not really. And people don't know, they just assume that it's for attention or something.

I know that's not what you're meaning, you're just asking an honest question...

I doubt I'd understand penile extension implants either!

Posted by: Elizabeth on January 7, 2004 08:53 PM

Slight boob jobs can look good, especially if a lady is rather small in that regard. While a lot of guys will say that doesn't matter, they're full of it, all other metrics being equal.

I'm a big fan of "average" or "athletic" hooters.

The obscenely enlarged ones with the baseball-sized nipples are just nasty. A lot of women just go too far with it.

Posted by: Mr. Lion on January 7, 2004 08:55 PM

On the other hand, my wife keeps complaining that she wants to get a breast reduction. Her reasons seem to be more practical that vane (tired of carrying them around, hard to find a bra that fits right, etc.)

I hope she never does though, because when she leans over to take the remote away from me I get breath-taking cleavage. :P

Posted by: Arnold on January 7, 2004 09:34 PM

Why are men obsessed with penis size?

Anyway, you're right on this one. I agree with you about the fake boobs thing! Amazing, isn't it.

Posted by: sugarmama on January 7, 2004 10:21 PM

I'm with you there, acidman. Fake boobs is a turn off for me. It seems desperate and shallow. Additionally, they make the girl seem untrustworthy for some reason that I can't explain.

I guess I'm an assman that appreciates the boobs. When push comes to shove (no pun intended), a tight body is the best, and breast size is secondary.

Posted by: bj on January 7, 2004 11:18 PM

Whenever the subject comes up with any woman I know intimately, the woman is unhappy with her tits. I've found two women with itty bitty titties attractive enough to marry. #2 mate had perfect tits until she gained weight in her last years. Physically, I'm most attracted to pretty eyes and nice, shapely asses and legs, so it never mattered to me. All 3 are/were smart , feisty and pretty. The mind is the most important sex organ. No close second. I swear on a stack of bibles, ladies, I don't give a shit about your tits unless they're udders, which is a turn off. Don't go mutilating yourselves on my account. I know there's a disconnect here. We dudes assume you want to attract us and we're wrong. Something about self image.

Posted by: Larry on January 8, 2004 07:57 AM

I don't have any idea. When my ex-wife saw a porn tape I was throwing out- before we married- she had a fit. "Those women all have implants, and I can't compete with that!" And would not let it go. This from a woman with large, beautiful breasts.

Posted by: Mark on January 8, 2004 09:45 AM

OK ladies, I'm going to let you in on a secret. It's a secret that could get me kicked out of the "Sooper Seekrit Guy's Club", but I'm going to tell you anyways.

We don't give a shit about size. Really, we don't. I've seen everything from A to DD, and as long as they are REAL, we don't care what size they are.

Real = Good
Fake = Bad
Size = We Don't Care.

Posted by: Raging Dave on January 8, 2004 11:20 AM

It all comes down to body self-image. I've known alot of women who look at themselves and see something entirely different from what's really there, and it never stops surprising me. And sure, some men have the same problem, but in reverse - how many wimmen you know can walk down the street with a beer gut and hairy legs thinking, "Man! I am lookin' GOOD!"

Posted by: rick on January 8, 2004 01:02 PM

I agree with Mister Lion - if a woman goes from A cup to a small C or a B cup to a full C, it makes sense, if it is done right then I think it makes sense. Anyone who jogs or shaves or gets his hair cut or lifts weights is obsessing over their looks. Those are all less drastic than surgery but it's the same notion.

What I don't understand is why women get those full D things that look like, well, bags of liquid sewn into their skin. It's about quality as well. For a woman and a man saddled with flat chestedness, there's nothing wrong with something that looks and feels natural and, dare I say, humble.

Those big uns seem to me it'd be like holding two water balloons.

I like the allure of those natural cuplettes as I approach my lady from behind. I like the feel of a pair of natural C as I gently cup them. I like how they and their owner react as I run my fingers lightly over the nipples, maybe stopping for a really light pinch.


You'all take it from there.

Posted by: Tim on January 8, 2004 01:12 PM

Everyone likes something different. So don't even try to speak for all the guys "Raging Dave".

I don't mind implants, I perfer topheavy women. But what seems to happen is that the woman doesn't do any research, and goes to Abduls "Hooters while U wait" shop.

It's cosmetic surgery ladies. Find the best and then save up to afford it.

Posted by: ErikZ on January 8, 2004 01:23 PM

I've fucked, but never dated or married a woman with fake boobs. Fake boobs tell me that the woman is insecure and shallow. Plus, they look ugly and feel weird.

I've known a few women with fake boobs and they were all emotional basketcases. Neurotic to the core and obsessed with their looks.

Give me real boobs anytime, even if they are small ones.

Posted by: Brent on January 8, 2004 03:46 PM

Oh, nice. Easy for you guys to say.

Boobs are like faces. It's genetic. Some are pretty. Some are ugly.

I'll agree with the general concensus in that if the ONLY reason for the surgery is to enlarge, it is kinda shallow, unless the girl literally did not develop.

But if it's a reduction or a lift, I get that. Once boobs are maxed out in size during breastfeeding, then deflated upon weening, they are often worthless unless the female comes from an extraordinary gene pool.

Due to the "flap" quotient, it often renders going braless a miserable experience. I LIVE to get home and get the thing off, so that was an issue.

I fixed it. No regrets other than the fact that I chose an idiot doctor.

Posted by: Key on January 8, 2004 04:08 PM

I was kidnapped and forced to go to a chamber of commerce meeting today by a friend that didn't want to, herself.

Sometime during the meeting the conversation turned to things like "remember when we could eat without worrying about dragging boobs through the plate?" (I dunno what the "we" part meant, because she was/is older and more protuberant than I am, with the result being that that bitch gravity was kinder to me than her. )

I can see the value of puttin' stuff back up where it useta be.

Posted by: SwampWoman on January 8, 2004 06:45 PM

Ladies, remember the P.E. exercise, "We Must, We Must Improve Our Busts?" Exercise may help raise them a little bit. I have a problem that whenever I lose weight that I've gained, even though breasts are largely fatty material, my cup size doesn't go down. Sure I lose around my midriff, but no corresponding reduction in cup size.

Posted by: Ms Anna on January 9, 2004 01:29 AM

Exercise is often the reason women NEED the added support.

It may do wonders for your pants size, but it can diminish plump breasts down to empty sacks of saggy flesh.

(Of course, that IS usually one of the LAST areas that goes, but if you continue to work out once you're thin, it happens.)

Posted by: Key on January 9, 2004 09:54 AM

I'm a lifelong member of the A team. Disadvantage: some lingerie doesn't look good on me; some guys don't find my body attractive.
Advantages: perky; don't sag (I'm 41); no need to own a bra except jog-bras.

For visual purposes, I wouldn't mind being bigger up top, but for lifestyle purposes, I like the size I am.

Posted by: dragonfly jenny on January 9, 2004 01:30 PM

I don't want new ones... but I sure would like them put back to where they used to be...

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