Gut Rumbles

December 26, 2003

drag her off and shoot her

Every time I read about one of these cases, my Cracker ass gets all chapped. Got-dam! Little boys run into things. They don't always pay real good attention when they become consumed with enthuiasm. They fall down, go boom.

What is a parent supposed to do? Raise the kid in a goddam condom for his protection? Sue somebody every time the kid busts his candy ass? Fuck that idea. Falling down and going boom is GOOD for a young boy. Those kind of lessons tend to stick with him. He learns to pay better attention after a while.

If I had a dollar for every time I've heard Quinton squalling in the yard, I would be a semi-rich man. My response to those incidents has always been the same, since the day he was old enough to go out and hurt himself. "Do you have any broken bones? Do you need to go to the emergency room? NO? Then quit your whining and rub some dirt on your bo-bo. Learn to get back up when you fall down."

Quinton once took a nose-dive right into the springs of a neighbor's trampoline. The springs snapped shut on him and drew a lot of blood. My neighbor Kathy, in tears, brought him back to the house. Quinton appeared to have stuck his head in a blender. I wiped his face, examined the wounds and quieted him down. Kathy was about to have a heart attack, but I told her not to worry. "He'll be fine," I said. "It looks a lot worse than it really is." (I've had a lot of first-aid training in 24 years in a chemical plant.)

I applied some Bactine and a couple of band-aids and gave Quinton a dose of baby Moutrin. Then I told him to go lie down and rest. He didn't need stitches and he was more frightened than he was hurt.

Jennifer almost shit her pants when she came home from work and saw Quinton, because he looked pretty bad at the time, but NEVER ONCE did either my wife or I even CONSIDER suing somebody over what happened that day. What happened to Quinton was not Kathy's fault, it wasn't the trampoline manufacturer's fault and it wasn't the fault of the company that sold the trampoline. Quinton took a header into the springs and they did a number on him. Shit like that happens when you're a kid playing on a trampoline.

Life is filled with risk. Learn to handle it. Rub some goddam dirt on your bo-bo and get over it. Don't tell me that somebody owes you money when your kid fucks up and hurts himself. Kids do that all the time. It's called PLAYING.

I say, let them play and keep the lawyers off the playground.


Amen, A-man!

Posted by: Joan of Argghh! on December 26, 2003 06:11 PM

Amen, indeed.

Posted by: Kevin Baker on December 26, 2003 06:27 PM

you know what....if that railing had been painted BLAZE ORANGE to attract attention...and the SAME kid had crashed into a fucking TREE....she'd have claimed that the "highly noticable" color had DISTRACTED the boy.....sheesh...some people just need to be dragged away and shot...

Posted by: Eric on December 26, 2003 07:25 PM

Uhm, was laughing my ass off at that ridiculous article the right response?

Jesus. I have five kids... we're talking stitches, broken bones, teeth knocked out... (and that's just the girls! My son will out-do them all. Watch.)

The thought of suing a playground for a kid simply being a kid is laughable. A large reason why we turned down a modeling agency once was because we wanted our daughters to have a normal childhood... bruises, sprains and all.

Posted by: -=e=- on December 26, 2003 07:26 PM

So, along those same lines, my daughter is born with a cleft in her soft pallet. Couldn't tell by lookin' at her. Mom couldn't breast feed (no vacuum) . Girl couldn't feed, frustration all around, several trips back to the pediatrician, diagnosis: "failure to thrive". Try that one on. Eventually diagnosed by an elderly doc , and on to UN Chapel Hill in Raliegh NC a year later for surgery. 11 years later, a beautiful girl with absolutely no speech problems whatsoever. Point is, coulda sued the shit outta them- owned the goddam practice, but who's fault was it really? We're all human and not infallible. Nobody said "maybe we can get away with this". It was simply an oversight. Shouldn't have happened, but it did. Shakespeare said it right, "kill all the lawyers"

Posted by: Pat on December 26, 2003 07:31 PM

I would love to see the lawyers get on that trampoline and go through that "blender". Now THAT would be funny.
I just can't believe what some people will do. I read it, just can't believe it.

Posted by: Wichi Dude on December 26, 2003 07:48 PM

Oy. The woman is obviously just trying to make money off of her son.....I mean, he's only 2 years old, and he's going to modeling jobs and auditions?! I just think that's wrong. And then to sue for loss of income.....who's income?? Hers. Ack. It's like she's prostituting her own child.

Posted by: DogsDon'tPurr on December 26, 2003 08:06 PM

That's all fine people. But if you all just whine and bitch about the litigation insanity, its just going to get worse.

We all need to get off our fat asses and start electing people who will reform product liability.

Posted by: Robin Roberts on December 26, 2003 08:15 PM

I say shut down the playground, and post that woman's name, address and telephone number on the signs declaring the playground closed.

Posted by: triticale on December 26, 2003 08:44 PM

So, where the hell was the mama when this accident happened? Shouldn't she have been actually watching the kid?

Posted by: SwampWoman on December 26, 2003 09:20 PM

Yeah, what Swampwoman said. Maybe mom oughta be run in on derelict parenting. Deep pocket, public liability insurance will pay them something and everyone's rates will go up incrementally.

Posted by: Larry on December 26, 2003 09:41 PM

My younger sister, about whom I recently blogged, has two boys, girl and one on the way. She’s had to deal with at least two broken bones from different kids (hey, the boys play football and hockey). Fortunately, Sis is a pediatric RN.

My niece has a tendency to whine about the least little scratch. Recently, little sister had a talk with her daughter—a Miss Priss like Key’s daughter--about the “boy who cried wolf” syndrome. Sis told her that, one day she’d be really hurt and no one would pay attention.

Posted by: Juliette on December 26, 2003 10:26 PM

Was once on a campout, one family had 5 kids. At one point a kid yelled "Mom!" She called back, "Is anything broken?" Silence. "Is anything bleeding?" Silence. "Then I don't want to hear about it!"
And yeah, they all lived.

Posted by: Mark on December 27, 2003 04:12 AM

Ever heard of the Jerky Boys? Pretty juvenile, they made crank calls and recorded them. There was one that I always remember: he calls up a lawyer asking for legal help for an outrageous accident... the lawyer says, uh no I can't help you from getting sued. Jerky says, well can I sue you then? The lawyer says, me? What the hell did I do to you? Why do you want to sue me? And Jerky says, uh, well, I don't know! I need to sue somebody! Sue everybody!

Some times that's what I think it's come to. I need to sue somebody! Sue everyone! Just sue!

Posted by: Somnopolis on December 27, 2003 05:34 AM

Folks, there have always been idiots and yammerheads. There always will be.

Time was a lawyer bringing such a suit would be slapped down and fined for wasting the court's time.

The present contretemps is brought about by examples of both species (idiots, yammerheads) being placed on the Bench.

THOSE idiots should be fitted for the latest fashion in bird fur and booked onto the next outbound fence rail.

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