Gut Rumbles

December 15, 2003

why i believe that nfl football sucks today

I grew up wanting to be a professional football player. My idols were the men who played that game back before it became a "hurray-for me" display of ego and poor discipline, which is what the NFL is today. I worshiped Johnny Unitas, Jim Parker, Bart Starr and Willie Wood. They played the game the way it was meant to be played.

It's a got-dam circus today. I don't want to see another monkey-dance in the end zone after a touchdown. I don't EVER want to see any more shit such as this in a football game. Plant a CELL PHONE under the goal post and CALL HOME when you score? Fuck you, showboat.

That was the most disgraceful thing I've ever seen a football player do to a game that I have loved all my life. Someone should stick that cell phone up his stupid ass and suspend him for a year.

Of course, such aswitted behavior is par for the course today. The players have no respect for the game and no respect for the people who came before them. They play good football, but they suck as human beings, and they double-suck as sportsmen.

Chad Johnson mugged for the cameras with a preprinted sign after his 10-yard touchdown catch, a display of one-upmanship that didn't sit well with coach Marvin Lewis.

Mugging for the cameras with a preprinted sign. Way to go, asshole. You scored that touchdown all by yourself, didn't you? You are a one-man football machine, aren't you? You don't need blockers, you don't need a quarterback and you don't need a good coach, do you? Yeah, just send your wonderful ass out there on the field all by yourself, and you'll beat the other team single-handedly.

The NFL isn't a football league anymore. It's nothing but Soul Train in cleats and colorful uniforms. I can't watch that shit without wanting to puke. I've loved the game of football too long to forgive the assholes who are making it what it is today. Those pricks playing now make millions of dollars for doing what I always did for free, and they make a mockery of the game. Fuck 'em all.

Why can't they show some goddam respect for the game?


I agree.

This part of the article is what floored me:

Horn drew Haslett's ire earlier this season when, after scoring against Atlanta Oct. 19, Horn pretended to machine gun two teammates, who fell to the ground in the end zone.

``It was the same thing in Atlanta,'' Haslett said. ``He'll learn. He's only 32.''

Only 32?? Only 32??????

So when does puberty end for these clowns, anyway?

Posted by: Trish on December 15, 2003 10:01 AM

I respectfully disagree, Rob. I, too, played the game as an underweight high school kid. I played flag football for sport until just a few years ago.

The game has come a long way since I started playing back in the '50's, when it was basically up the middle or around end in a sea of mud, with a pass thrown occasionly, but not often.

The double-wing T formation has given way to multiple variations and the ability of every team at every level to shift formations during the snap count.

The showboating after a score makes the game a lttle longer, but so what? These backs and wide receivers put on a great show for OUR entertainment, so why can't we allow them a little fun when they excel?

Don't you suppose there was just a bit of grandstanding yesterday on that farm in Tikrit when Saddam was captured, or at least later at the barracks?

Rob, your view that football is deadly combat on the gridiron may be what it took to make you equal to bigger players, but for most of the rest of us, the game is also entertainment. The occasional showboat display adds to the entertainment value of the game, in my view.

Posted by: Rivrdog on December 15, 2003 10:12 AM

"Soul Train in cleats." That's a classic, Acidman.

Posted by: rivlax on December 15, 2003 10:37 AM

You're right Rob. I think of real men like Dick Butkus, Walter Payton, Terry Bradshaw and John Elway. These guys loved and respected the game and they would've played with broken legs and for free. The NFL has too many rules now and too many spoiled ego maniac show offs.

Posted by: Brent on December 15, 2003 10:41 AM

Seeing Joe Horn, Chad Johnson, and Terrell Owens pull their bullshit makes me wish players like Dick "Night Train" Lane and Jack Tatum still played. Pull that crap against them and the next time you ran their way you'd get a clothesline across the Adam's Apple.

Posted by: Ralph Gizzip on December 15, 2003 11:17 AM

Exactly, Ralph. That was my first thought. Is it them, or is it there's nobody with huevos on the defensive side that will punish them good for it. Like T.O. dancing on the Cowboy star a few years ago. He'll probably think about it next time. Can you imagine pulling this crap in the old days against the likes of Nitchske, Butkus, or Doomsday or Steel Curtain?

Posted by: mitch on December 15, 2003 11:32 AM

They can't see anything but those "show-biz" dollar signs in their eyes!

Posted by: MommaBear on December 15, 2003 11:34 AM

Why can't they show some goddam respect for the game?

....or for the fans.

....or for their teammates

....or for their worthy opponents

....or for themselves.

Rivrdog, while I agree with you on the entertainment value, I agree with Rob more, in that they're way the hell over the line with regards to the respect issues.

The refs need a flag to throw for Flagrant Assholery, with a 15 yard penalty and loss of down.

The entire concept of class, seems to be entirely lost on those thugs.

Sloop New Dawn
Galveston, TX

Posted by: Jim on December 15, 2003 11:55 AM

No disrespect to the Skipper (Jim, of SOTW), but the NFL is sending mixed signals. They fine these players for some of the most flagrant showboating, but they pull into their shells when something much worse happens with their own people.

I am a Seahawks fan, and in the second to the last play yesterday, the Hawks passed to the Rams goal line and the receiver went up for a sure catch. The Line Judge lost his footing and executed a perfect downfield block on the receiver, who missed the catch. If the pass had been caught, the receiver would have fallen in the end zone for the score, which would have put the Hawks ahead with 6 seconds left.

The Hawks would still be in the running for the playoffs, and the Rams would have to actually play their last 4 games to win their division.

No apology, no explanation from the league about this stolen game.

Fuck them, and the queer horse they rode in on.

Posted by: Rivrdog on December 15, 2003 01:28 PM

Yep,'s all about "show me da MONEY!"

Meanwhile, the news carries more and more stories of these overpaid whiney butts getting arrested for drugs and violence. They don't go anywhere without any entourage to protect the furcoat-wearing, jewelry- flaunting spoiled superstars, who care more about the value of their latest product endorsement than they do about the sport they take for granted.

Good luck when injury sidelines them for good and the money runs out.

Posted by: Trish on December 15, 2003 01:58 PM

RIVERDOG -- The refs/umps are considered part of the playing field in all sports. It happens often that a pass will hit a ref, a baseball going down the line hits an ump, a puck deflects off a ref, etc. At least the game wasn't decided by the farce called "instant replay."

P.S. Additionally, there are only 2 games left too play, not 4.

Posted by: drex35 on December 15, 2003 02:10 PM

It is simple, screw football and basketball. Watch hockey. You wiill see guys bust their asses all game, they respect the hell out of tradition (imagine a basketball player coveting the Lady Bing trophy), and are humble enough to share a room on the road (because that is the way it is done).

If you want a role model, don't look at the NFL or NBA. My 7 year old plays hockey, in Atlanta of all places, because his hero's are the ones I trust.

Posted by: Tom on December 15, 2003 05:09 PM

Right on Tom, My rather small community just conducted a fund raiser to build an ice rink for the local kids. The biggest contributor, the NHL players association kicked in $130,000 for the rink. Thats what I call giving something back to the fans.

Posted by: Dennis on December 15, 2003 05:25 PM

I'm with you on that one Tom. You can even look at Soccer in Europe. If one of those guys misbehaves, the shit hits the fan on the player and the team. Believe me, if the team gets fined for some dipshit's behavior. Then your talkin' about the bread and butter of other people. That shit doesn't fly very long if at all.

Posted by: G-Dub on December 15, 2003 06:48 PM

I don't know Rob, Owens autographing that football was one of the funniest, smartass stunts I've seen on live tv. at. Lacking in class, sure, but it was goddamned funny as well as unexpected.

Posted by: Cinciphil on December 15, 2003 08:27 PM

Please ignore that I'm not completely on the subject of the entry. The importance of this comment will become clear, with my sincere hope, by the end of my discourse.

I want stripping the ball to be made illegal. No that sentence is too namby-pamby and could be only attributed to a timid "woman who really doesn't know her place." I DEMAND THAT STRIPPING THE BALL BE MADE ILLEGAL. No helmet butts against the ball, no sticking your hand in to try to flip it out of the other team player's hold. Absolutely none of the tricks to "strip the ball" practiced daily. Instead, I think it makes perfect sense to spend this wasted time on football basics. Just one of the basics of football is the art of catching a passed ball. Defensive players should be allowed to (mandatory) practice catching the ball for period of time equal to, but not to exceed, the time offensive players practice catching a football. Heaven help us, the game just might be more exciting watching a 30-yard completion or clean interception, rather that watching a brawl on the ground over who touched the ball last!

Let a fumble be a legal fumble because the player holding the ball is incompetent. Tackle the "sh*t" out of the player, but if he keeps a clean hold on the ball by shear determination and talent, he keeps it. He shouldn't be losing it because someone else's hand flipped it out of his hand(s) as he's flying heals over head from the first lightening bolt hit. The game is called Football, not Get It Away, Any Way That May Be Considered Legal. DOES IT MATTER THAT STEALING A PURSE FROM MY GRANDMOTHER BY THE SAME MOVEMENT IS ILLEGAL BY THE LAWS OF OUR BELOVED LAND (the United States of America)?

And another thing while I hold the mike (or is it mic or mik?) in this comment, an interception is an interception, not a "pic" or "pik" or some other "back half-assed word" that hasn't been entered into the dictionary, yet. By adopting the language of sports announcers we, the people of the United States of America, are lowering the standards of language by common usage to the lowest of denominators, instead of increasing our level of oral intercourse and advancing humankind. Sports announcers are bastardizing oral and written language to the lowest of levels. Why do sports OBSERVERS jump into the fire? Just because sports ANNOUNCERS do? Aren't the sports announcers being paid enough to be positive leaders, an example of high standards to be striven for, rather than Pied Pipers to the lowest common denominator?

I, in my most humble opinion, will not even lower myself to research and compare the salaries of public educators (teachers) and sports announcers, much less insert the concept of unpaid overtime time spent in preparing lessons by our public educators (teachers) with the time spent by sports announcers at private and public events, interviewing the participants in professional sports. No, I'm not even going to get into the reimbursement by employers (Sports Networks) for travel expenses and expense accounts of high-priced meals, wining and dining the "elite" participants and hangers-on of professional sports. No, I won't even go that far to compare the pay scale for standards taught (supposedly) by public educators (teachers) verses the pay scale of sports announcers who are pushing the envelope of demeaning our oral and written language standards to the lowest of common denominators.

I close with a solemn statement that I am not responsible for my own behavior tonight. I am not responsible for a single word that I have written. Acidman has "brain-washed" me. Acidman is totally at fault for my behavior. I will be found innocent by a jury of 12 of my peers because Acidman made me do it.

Acidman, by espousing the merits of Franzia White Zinfandel, made me buy a 3-liter box of Franzia White Zinfandel. I couldn't help myself. I was totally compelled by Acidman to make my purchase. I just couldn't keep from doing it. The action of purchasing a 3-liter box was humiliating, to say the very least. I couldn't even get it at the little neighborhood liquor store, into which I had never walked before this afternoon. I was compelled by Acidman to walk three stores down the strip shopping center. I, an upstanding citizen of my community, had to enter my local grocery store to find a "box" of wine. I had to stand in line with other upstanding members of my community with a "box" of wine in my grocery cart to pay for my purchase. Just to attempt to "cover" my less than upstanding behavior, I purchased a container of no less than "instant decaffeinated" coffee and a container of liquid International Delight French Vanilla (ouch, that "French" word, again) coffee creamer. In addition, I purchased a container of the same coffee creamer FAT FREE for comparison. JUST TO SHOW my upstanding neighbors that I am heath conscience. I, an upstanding member of my community, have not sunk to the lowest denominator by buying only wine in a "box."

Acidman made me do it. I'm addicted to his "blog." He is totally corrupting me. It is not my fault that I did not stop drinking with one glass of wine. That glass, of course was a socially acceptable size and shape of a "wine glass," not a "jelly glass." I still have some standards. Acidman may try to corrupt me completely, but I am still striving to fight off this addiction to "Gut Rumbles." But, I must confess, totally, that it is all Acidman's fault that I bought that 3-liter "box" of wine!! My shame, my humiliation, my downfall. All of it is Acidman's fault.

Will I find myself trying to dial the number of a friend who will bail me out of the local "hoose goal" or police holding cell, the next time that I can't help myself because of my addition to Acidman's "Gut Rumbles" blogsite?

Only time will tell.

One postscript, all spelling, grammatical, and literary errors are his entire fault, too. He made me drink more than one glass of wine. I can not be held responsible for any personal actions this evening.

Posted by: Ms Anna on December 16, 2003 12:25 AM

Is there anyone in the NFL these days who actually acts like they've been in the end zone before?

As bad as the Horn move was, and it was bad, perhaps the worst one of recent memory was the guy, forgot who it was, who did a major end zone celebration after scoring the TD that made the score 38-7 against. You are going to lose and you celebrate like that? Stupid.

Kick them all in the ass.

Posted by: john on December 16, 2003 05:31 AM

IIRC, many years ago (80's), the Washington Redskins receivers ("the Fun Bunch"?) had this touchdown celebration where they would group together and all leap up together to bump chests or something similarly stupid.

They were playing at home and scored on the Dallas Cowboys. They were in the middle of their fancy little prerehearsed dance routine when Dallas's Bill Bates came screaming into the midst of them at full speed to lay at hit on all of them. Lots of flags, unsportmans penaties, fines etc. Whatever. The message was clear, don't fuck around showboating when its at Mr Bates' expense , or he'll hand you your ass. Now that's football!. (Of course there's no need to mention this was before Jerry Jones etc.)

Posted by: Biased Observer on December 16, 2003 08:30 AM

It's just bush league bs.

They're playing in the premier showcase for their chosen sports, getting paid big money to play a game and I won't be spending one thin dime on them, their sports, their products, any of it. What really chapped my butt was the comentators on espn last night defending it. Crap. Act like you've been in the endzone before. And that includes the NFL and NBA. The NHL and MLB aren't far behind.

Posted by: JSAllison on December 16, 2003 09:18 AM

I've known a couple extremely gifted athletes. They are fawned over from the time their talent becomes apparent. This showboating wouldn't have been tolerated by coaches or teammates in my time. These guys think they're above the rest because they've been told they are most of their lives.

IMHO, football turned pussy when they started letting the offense use their hands. That used to be illegal. You had to knock someone down/back/aside or scramble like hell to stay in their way in order to block. Spearing used to be legal, too. I had many a "stinger" from planting my helmet in someone's gut. But I had the satisfaction of knowing it hurt them worse than it hurt me.

Sorry, Anna, you just don't get it. Football is a rough game with few holds barred. Ask anyone who's played if they want that rule. I'll lay odds it'll be 99-1 against. It's one of the few thrills for the dudes in the trenches (announcer speak for linemen) when they force and/or recover a fumble.

PS: Pic/pik is short for pickoff, an alternate football term for interception. Lay off the zin, hon. Or lay on the zin and off the flummery when you're U I.

PPS: Cheap shots, under any circumstances, SUCK! Tatum and his teammate Ben Davidson were among the worst cheap shot artists in memory. The game would have been better off without them. Lane was NOT.

Posted by: Larry on December 16, 2003 11:06 AM

Larry, you are the one who doesn't get it.

I won't back down from not stripping the ball. I want to see hard-hitting, pure talent down there on the field.

I remember the saying that a reciever has two choices. Catch the ball and get hit or don't catch the ball and still get hit!

The defense isn't concentrating on an all-out, back crunching hit, they are concentrating on sticking their pinky finger on the ball to push it out of the receiver's hands. Just hit the sh*t out of the receiver. Knock him senseless, then he'll lose the ball.

I'm blood thirsty, yes. I want to see pure bone-crushing hits, and solid ball-handling skills.

Stripping the ball is equivalent to grabbing my grandmother's purse and running to the goal line. That does not take manly bone-crushing talent.

Posted by: Ms Anna on December 16, 2003 11:51 AM

Larry, find your sense of humor about the zin, please.

Posted by: Ms Anna on December 16, 2003 11:58 AM

These players have not been inculcated with the ethos of honorable competition. Nobody ever shared with them the sort of message that Tom Landry shared with his Dallas Cowboys when they expressed a desire to dance in the end zone after touchdowns. "We're the Dallas Cowboys," Landry said. "We should act like we've been in the end zone before."

Posted by: chizbro on December 16, 2003 06:33 PM

I apologize for the low (zin) blow, Anna. I still say ask anyone who's played if they want that rule. Part of the ballcarriers job is to hold onto the dang pigskin.

Posted by: Larry on December 16, 2003 08:34 PM

That's right, Larry, and the defense is suppose to tackle, as in physical contact with the offensive player. Otherwise, they would be be playing touch football with ribbons hanging from their waistbands to pull out.

I stand by my statement that stripping the ball is the equivalent of stealing the purse from anyone's grandmother's hands, and should be illegal. The game would be faster and more exciting to watch.

Posted by: Ms Anna on December 17, 2003 12:23 PM

I live in england and over here u dont get ne of the kind of bullshit that goes on in football. Everybody in the game has respect for eachother in the game itself. I think the reason for this is they dont get paind shit loads of money and thay play it for their own enjoyment. Football needs to get itself sorted.

Posted by: Chris on January 17, 2004 08:56 AM

im talkin about rugby i forgot 2 mention that

Posted by: Chris on January 17, 2004 08:57 AM

Ethics is not necessarily the handmaiden of theology.

Posted by: Spikol Liz on January 22, 2004 01:30 AM

You hit the nail on the head!!!! The NFL totally SUCKS today. it is just another overbloated product of overcommercialization. And Trish, you want entertainment, go to a freaking broadway show!!! I long for the days when the NFL championship game was an actual GAME and not a showcase of Aryan Corporate America like the Stupid Bore!! ERRRRR Super Bowl, and if you disagre with me, you are a moron, why?? because I am better than you!!!

Posted by: mike on January 26, 2004 08:56 PM

Truth is a kind and gentle lie.

Posted by: Friedman Joseph on May 3, 2004 02:34 PM
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