Gut Rumbles

November 15, 2003

food fight

I can't argue with this post. I have claimed for a long time that Texas is not a legitimate Southern state because it's just too Texican to be Southern, but I can't bitch about the food (except when it comes to barbecue. Barbecue is PORK, goddamit! I believe that God wrote that law on a stone tablet somewhere, but obviously not in Texas.). Bejus knows, other than barbecue, I love what people cook down there.

I like the melt-your-teeth spicy dishes. I like the beans and rice. I like tortillas almost as much as I like cornbread. And you could hand me a plate of chicken-fried TURD and I probably would eat it if you slathered on enough gravy and served it with good biscuits. Goddam! What DOESN'T taste good chicken-fried?

If I moved anywhere else in this country, I probably would go to Texas. I like the people, I like the food and I like the general attitude.

That crap doesn't make Texas really Southern, but it all puts it high on my list of good places to be.



I come from Canada.

Barbecue is an outdoor grilling appliance! LOL! (It is also what you DO to meat ON that appliance)

But I live in Atlanta now, so I've resigned myself to barbecue referring to pulled pork - and NOTHING else.

Posted by: Michael Demmons on November 15, 2003 11:38 AM

So add Texas to that leisurely U.S. stroll that you keep meaning to take.

And let me know how that chicken-fried turd works out for ya...(Very appetizing post until I got to that paragraph!)

Posted by: Key on November 15, 2003 11:50 AM

Chicken-fried? What about "country-fried?"
Last time I had a "country-fried steak," I had to ask, "What country?"
ba dum DUM!

Posted by: Ric on November 15, 2003 12:24 PM

Maybe you could move Texas into your "Furriners I Like" column?

Posted by: Wichi Dude on November 15, 2003 12:41 PM

Barbeque is a device for cooking, not a food group. ::fending off the attacks for that remark::

So when people like myself say we're going to "barbeque" it is what Southerners call "grilling."

Outside of the South, when people say "I'm going to barbeque" they don't mean add barbeque sauce to everything and smoke it for a long time (as you mean when you say it and think only of pork). They mean they are going to get out the BBQ and cook outside. Sauce optional.

Posted by: Mrs. du Toit on November 15, 2003 12:49 PM

OOOoooooo!!!! (In my best Yosemite Sam voice)

Them's fightin' words, ya varmint!

Texas most certainly IS a Southern state. Ask any of John Bell Hood's boys who ass-whooped a buncha Yankees to keep Tarheel and Jawjah asses out of a sling at Antietam. Ditto for a bunch of my kinfolk who gave the bluebellies a case of the screaming fan-tods wherever Kirby Smith's Texas division marched.

Come down to SE Texas, where you'll find plenty of quiet boulevards lined with mossy oaks, or near the coast, where the oak & pine give way to palmetto and palm. Won't look too different from Georgia. Just leave your damned kudzu at home.

Texas goes on for another 600 miles heading westward, and, in truth, does tend to resemble Arizona more than the Gulf Coast the farther west you go. Ditto for heading north, after another 500 miles to hit the panhandle and it looks like the Great Plains. It's all the same state, though, and it's definitely in the South.

Ever wonder why we tend to drive large trucks and SUV's? When ya gotta drive for 4-6 hours just to reach the nearest state line, you might as well be comfortable!

As for BBQ...

Barbecue is NOT a cooking appliance, or method, or sauce, but an entire lifestyle. Far be it from me to laud the benefits of dead pig over dead cow. Each has it's benefits. Personally, I prefer Memphis pig over NC/GA pig. Cole slaw and vinegar don't go on a 'cue sammich.

For the best BBQ cow you'll ever eat, look up the Kreuz Market in Lockhart TX. The brisket and sausage are the world's best. The smoke ring on that brisket is almost an inch deep, and tastes so good you want to slap your momma for not moving you there when you was a kid.

For pig ribs that'll make you weep tears of joy, head to the "Church of the Holy Barbecue" in Huntsville, TX. aka Mount Zion Missionary Baptist Church. Them fine folks have been smokin' pig longer than I can remember to raise funds, and though the ancient pit out back looks like a gateway to the Inferno, the resulting 'cue is kissed by angels.

Come on over, Acidman. We'll show you a good Southern time.

El Capitan
Southern by birth, Texan by grace of God.

Posted by: El Capitan on November 15, 2003 01:27 PM

The best Texas recipe


1 1/2 pounds encoignure, ground
1/2 cup medium cracker crumbs
2 beaten eggs
1 8-ounce can tomato sauce
1/4 cup finely chopped onion
2 tablespoons chopped green pepper
dash dried thyme, crushed
dash dried marjoram, crushed

Combine all ingredients and 1 teaspoon salt; mix well.
Shape mixture into a loaf in a baking dish. Bake at 350
degrees about 1 1/4 hours. Makes 6 to 8 servings.

Posted by: Ron Hardin on November 15, 2003 02:04 PM

WTF is Encoignure????

Posted by: Mike Messina on November 15, 2003 03:18 PM

I've lived in Texas. It definitely qualifies as a different species of Southern.

Posted by: shell on November 15, 2003 04:35 PM

Somebody's having a funny at our expense...

ENCOIGNURE, in furniture, literally the angle, or return, formed by the junction of two walls. The word is now chiefly used to designate a small armoire, commode, cabinet or cupboard made to fit a corner; a chaise encoignure is called in English a three-cornered chair. In its origin the thing, like the word, is French, and the delightful Louis Quinze or Louis Seize encoignure in lacquer or in mahogany elaborately mounted in gilded bronze is not the least alluring piece of the great period of French furniture. It was made in a vast variety of forms so far as the front was concerned; in other respects it was strictly limited by its destination. As a rule these delicate and dainty receptacles were in pairs and placed in opposite angles; more often than not the top was formed of a slab of coloured marble.

Posted by: El Capitan on November 15, 2003 04:37 PM

Great state, but it's got to be the most friggin boring drive I've ever endured in my life. I've gone coast to coast several times and Texas is my nemesis. Worst of all, they a mileage marker every mile on I-10 to remind you how far you still have to go. Those markers remind me of chinese water drop torture.

Posted by: "Ralphy" on November 15, 2003 05:27 PM

Texas is a country all unto itself.

That being said, if you find youself down Houston-way feel free to stop by anytime. I'll fix you up a big pot of chicken and dumplings (pronounced dumplins). Or, red beans and rice, if you'd rather. Or chicken fried steak and cream gravy. Or crawfish etouffee. Or bisquits and gravy...

Posted by: Kat on November 15, 2003 05:59 PM

There are only two kinds of people in this world:TEXANS and those that wish they were,Ask Kim du Toit what the Foods like down here on the Farm Y'all come see us

Posted by: Airboss on November 16, 2003 12:54 AM

I was 9 years ago in Texas, and I must saythe steaks are one of the best there. For us its like the wild west.

Posted by: Noni on November 17, 2003 12:26 PM

*ROFL!* Damn straight we're not "southern", Rob - we's Texican, dammit. ;]

*ahem* Connie du Toit, you take that back raght now, y'hear? BBQ is too a food group! ;]p~

The group it's in contains meat, sausage, tater salad, and coleslaw... and pecan pie.

You ever manage to make it down here, Acidman, I'll buy you a brew.

Posted by: Ironbear on November 21, 2003 08:47 PM

Buy this it is a wonderful addition to anyones home entertainment system.

Posted by: direct TV on May 28, 2004 12:47 AM
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