November 11, 2003
famous last words
When Recondo 32 and I were driving to Blood Mountain, I kept noticing those little crosses and flower garlands on the side of the road, where someone had died in a car wreck. "Did you know that those monuments are against the law in the state of Georgia?" I asked.
"WHAT?" Recondo responded. He's damn near deaf now.
"THOSE LITTLE CROSSES AND GARLANDS THAT MARK WHERE BARBIE AND KEN GOT KILLED IN A CAR WRECK! THEY ARE OUTLAWED BY THE GEORGIA DOT!" I replied, at the top of my lungs. "DID YOU KNOW THAT FACT?"
"Oh, those things. I try to be really careful when I see them. I figure that it's a sign of bad stretch of road ahead."
"What do you think are the last words most people say before they die in a car wreck?" I asked.
"What?" Recondo replied.
"WHAT DO YOU THINK ARE THE LAST WORDS MOST PEOPLE SAY BEFORE THEY DIE IN A CAR WRECK!" I yelled.
Recondo smiled. "The right answer is probably "OH, SHIT!" but I know what I said as a boy in South Carolina in a souped-up hot-rod doing crazy things on the road at night."
"What was that?" I asked.
"Hold my beer and watch THIS," he said.
I couldn't argue with that one. Been there, done that too many times.
Hey Acidman, up here in the North (New Jersey), we call those things "Puerto Rican Gravestones." We have lots of them, and it seems like the clean up crews don't dare touch them.
See what I'm missin', having moved outta Jersey? I didn't know that...lol.
As for that deafness? Eric's like that, too. Can't hear SHIT, then wants to get pouty 'cause I raised my voice...sheesh.
I have a name for this syndrome and I bet Recondo's got it, too. It's called "Male Selective Deafness" and it's pretty much a guy thing.
To see if a guy has it all ya gotta do is say something, anything ya want that ya want him to know or remember, right to his face. Then, ya wait a while. Then, ya whisper something to someone about the same guy-and you can even be in totally different rooms-that ya DON'T want him to hear.
Now...go ask him which thing he heard and will never forget.
It'll be whatcha whispered. 10 to 1, even with a gun to his head, he won't be able to remember a single thing about what you said right to him and his excuse'll be "I never heard you say that..."
(Keep in mind, I love men...Therefore, this is merely an observation...not a complaint.)
*kisses to all of 'em*
With regards to "Male Selective Hearing," my father actually had only 30% hearing in one ear; deaf in the other. He had taught himself to partially lip-read as his deafness increased. Then we had an interesting experience with male selective hearing.
All the plans were made, I was already at the hospital being prepped for Bi-Lateral Carpal Release on Dec. 10, 1990. My father had the gall to come down with a bad flu-like virus. This was only the third time I had known him to be sick enough to take to a bed. The problem? With surgery on both hands at the same time, I was going to stay with my parents for at least the first two weeks. Not only was my mother, my mommy, but she was a LPN. We had discussed all the details, everything was planned for my incapacity.
Since I was already on the way to the operating room, Daddy's recliner chair was moved back to the master bedroom. He had a TV to watch, too. He was banned from the rest of the house, until he was no longer contagious.
What did Daddy do? Stayed in that bedroom and read when he felt up to it. What did Mom and I do? Some visiting while sitting at the kitchen table. But Daddy had to put his two cents in at times. From the other end of a 4-bedroom, single-story home, he'd walk down the hall, stick his head around the corner and correct or add to something we were talking about.
This from a man who normally couldn't hear a conversation unless you were looking at him when we spoke!
I loved my father, and miss him so much. I continue to hug and kiss my mother, telling her "I love you." Just as I did with my father.
``Oh shit'' are the most common last words on cockpit voice recorders.
Recondo really is more than half-deaf. He had too many bombs go off in his face in Vietnam.
Aw...I wasn't trying to be mean. I already like the guy 'cause he's a good friend of yours. Now that I know this (about Nam), my respect for the guy just increased a hundred-fold. (Just take a peek at the top of my blog...on the right...)
And, for the record, Eric also has profound hearing loss in one ear from working on diesel engines on ships in the Navy.
Still, there ain't a guy anywhere that doesn't have at least a touch of MSD...( and CRS)
I still love 'em all ever' bit as much...
General John Sedgwick's last words, at the battle of the Wilderness, after someone warned him to get down: "They couldn't hit an elephant at this dist..."
Make it your guiding principle to do your best for others and to be trustworthy in what you say. Do not accept as friend anyone who is not as good as you. When you make a mistake do not be afraid of mending your ways.