Gut Rumbles

November 09, 2003


To go with the post below:

I potty-trained Quinton by teaching him to piss outdoors. He was outside with me one day, and he started grabbing at his diapered crotch as he usually did when he had to pee. "You need to wee-wee?" I asked. I didn't get a response. "Well, I do," I said, and I whipped Roscoe out and let loose right by the back fence.

The next thing I know, my boy half-masted his pants and started pissing right along with daddy. "Feels better than wearing it in your drawers, doesn't it?" I asked. I believe that he figured that part out that day. The only problem we had after that was teaching Quinton to go TO THE BATHROOM. If he needed to wee-wee, he would break for the door and go outside.

That was fine until the day he took a shit in the front yard right when the school bus was going by. I remember Jennifer saying, "See what you've taught him?"

Hell, I figured that shitting in the front yard was a vast improvement over shitting in his pants. We had the message transmitted. Now, all we had to do was refine the translation. That process didn't take long to accomplish.

But my boy STILL likes to pee outdoors.


Acidman, you're on a roll tonight. I laughed so hard, I could barely control myself.

You're going to make many of us laugh so hard, that we just might pee in our own pants.

Posted by: Ms Anna on November 9, 2003 07:16 PM

That WAS a funny story.

Posted by: Ralphy on November 9, 2003 08:21 PM

What a great story! Wish I had such interesting things to blog about. Even if I did, I sure wouldn't be able to write about them like you can. I'm lookin' forward to that book!

Posted by: Ironic1 on November 9, 2003 08:49 PM

Anna, I'm rolling too and for us wimmen folk who've had the ole bladder surgery and incontenent problem laughing so hard calls for a change of the pantiliner. It took me back to when I potty trained Justin.We lived in a townhouse built into the side of a cliff on the mountain and there was a balcony porch on the back. The only bathroom was upstairs and we spent a great deal of time on that porch smoking and enjoying the woods. (I had my first son in Charleston, South Carolina over looking the Atlantic and Justin in the Ozark Mountains).Justin would whip it out and whiz on the rocks through the balcony rails.One day I caught him trying to stick his butt through the railings so I grabbed him quickly and got him to the toilet seat just in time. I think my favorite blogs are when Acidman talks about his kids. Mine are grown now and it brings back the happiest days of my life. I was just thinking about that today when I saw a woman give birth on a tv movie. Funny all the suffering that preceded the birth stopped immediately when those boys were laid on my breasts. It brought tears to my eyes today and now I've wet my pants.

Posted by: Lexia on November 9, 2003 09:47 PM


We all know that Bears in fact DO shit in the woods.

Good to know that tall dogs (even the SHORT tall ones), piss there as well.

And from balconies, too.

One thing I love about living on a sailboat. After dark, it's very convenient. Nice to not have a neighbor within 150 feet, in a fairly secluded marina.

Freedom. Ain't it grand?


Sloop New Dawn
Galveston, TX

Posted by: Jim on November 9, 2003 09:58 PM

The first time I kept my dog inside on a snowy winter night, I took him out in the middle of the night so he could do his thing. After I got outside, I wondered how I was going to get the message across that it was ok for him to pee. I didn't want to take him for a walk, I didn't want to stay out there any longer then necessary. So I unzipped and let rip. He took the hint very well. Since it worked so well, I always did that when we kept him in on the worst winter nights.
A few years later, in the summer, I was peeing in the back yard, and that damn dog came up and peed on my leg.

Posted by: Daniel Day on November 9, 2003 11:35 PM

LOL -- went through this with my boy. It is still his favorite venue . . .

Posted by: Anne on November 10, 2003 02:12 AM

WONDERFUL! WELL DONE1 Now if you could just teach him to piss up a rope he could be a 1st Lt.

Posted by: larry on November 10, 2003 03:10 AM

Thanks for the quiet chuckles here...I have to be quiet cuz I am the only one awake in my house. I absolutely love reading your blog, A-man, and I too can't wait to read your first book. I have complete faith in you that it will be published and be a bestseller. I love when you write about your kids or your own childhood memories. At your first "book signing" appearance, you better be ready for many female groupies. lol
P.S. I have a "crush" on you.

Posted by: Cindi on November 10, 2003 04:02 AM

Lexia, you just reminded me of a story about one of my little grandnephews. I have a nephew who lives in Alpharetta, GA, with his young family. One weekend when Great-Grandma was visiting, she was sitting on the back porch talking with the other family members up that way. My nephew was playing with his 3-year-old son in the backyard. Yep, there was that sudden pause, grabbing of his little ding-dong, and the start of a panic run to the house. Daddy called to him to run to the trees at the back of the yard. Taylor obeyed his Daddy and ran to the tree line, then promptly turned around to face the house and Great-Grandma to let it fly.

Posted by: Ms Anna on November 10, 2003 05:59 AM

Cindi, just to let you know, you're on my sister's troll list. But, don't worry, she's on my brown list.

Posted by: Ms Anna on November 10, 2003 06:11 AM

Ms Anna,
Troll list? Aww, please don't put me in that category. I'm a good egg.

Posted by: Cindi on November 10, 2003 12:23 PM

Good story!

Posted by: Lee on November 10, 2003 08:09 PM

That reminds me of when my son (at 3 -4 yrs) was playing outside and I noticed he had peed his pants. I asked "what happened?" and he said "I couldn't get to the grass in time".

Posted by: Susan on November 10, 2003 08:54 PM
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