Gut Rumbles

November 03, 2003

things I will not do

I don't believe in the Ten Commandments.

I believe that they are Ten Good Rules to Live By, but I can justify breaking every one of them. "Thou Shalt Not Steal," for example. Damn good rule. I'm not going to break into your home and steal your property. But when I have a garage sale and make $300 selling my junk to strangers for cash, I DO NOT declare that money on my income tax form. That's stealing from the government if you want to get technical about it, but I'll do it and feel totally guilt-free. Those bastards in government steal enough of MY money that I'll screw 'em every chance I get.

"Thou Shalt Not Kill." I don't believe that I am capable of cold-blooded murder. But if someone breaks into the Crackerbox at night or tries to molest my son, I am perfectly capable of performing an execution. Nope, I don't buy that commandment because sometimes, people NEED to be dragged off and shot for the good of the rest of society.

"Honor Thy Father and Thy Mother." That's wonderful advice if you have good parents. But I've listened to too many black guys at work brag that, "I KNOW I'm a MAN, because I've got three chil'ren." Yeah. From three different wimmen, all on welfare and you don't pay a nickel of support or a bit of attention to ANY of them. You're some kind of "man," all right. Why should ANYBODY honor that kind of "father" or the woman who bears his child?

"Thou Shalt Not Covet". WTF? Covetousness is the entire platform of the Democratic Party today. Just listen to ANY speech given by Richard Gephardt. TAX THE RICH! WIN "LIFE'S LOTTERY!" AFFIRMATIVE ACTION! GOVERNMENT GIVEAWAYS! Come one, come all and covet your ass off. I'll steal from THEM and give it all to YOU. COVET! And vote Democrat.

"Put No Other Gods Before Me." I've got a problem with that one. If I were omnipotent and you had the fucking NERVE to put another god before ME, I would smite the shit out of you with my rod and my staff and my Holy Combat Boot. God doesn't seem to operate that way. I believe that he is either incompetent or disinterested.

"Do Not Bear False Witness." BWHAHAHAHAHAHAAA!! We live in a society BASED ON LIES today. Just listen to CNN, for crying out loud. Become a "human resource" for a large corporation. An honest man in THAT shark-pool will have his nuts handed to him in a zip-lock baggie. Fuck that. I am not a good liar, because I don't have a real sharp memory. I prefer to stick with the truth because it's easier to recall. But anyone who tells you that "honesty is the best policy" in TODAY's world is blowing smoke up your naive ass. I still like the line Ernest Borgnine said in The Wild Bunch: "It ain't your WORD that counts! It's WHO you give it TO!" Amen.

In spite of my cynicism and disbelief in "commandments," I still have certain lines in the sand that I will not cross. I would never sell a friend down the river to save my own ass. I will not lie outright to you, but I may fail to tell the entire truth unless I'm pressed for all the details. I may embellish a story here and there, but the nugget in the middle is the truth.

I have never hit a woman in anger (I confess to doing some sport-spanking, but that's different) and I never will. I have never raped a woman, but I don't always take the first "No!" for a final no. I will paw at you and work my wiles until your intentions are clear; then, I'll leave you alone if you are not interested. I like a woman in my bed who WANTS to be there.

I have never even considered molesting a child and I believe that anyone attracted to pederasty should be dragged off and shot. Molest Quinton and I'll drag you off and shoot you myself.

I don't play by a lot of rules. But the ones I DO have are etched in stone.

That way, I keep life as simple as I can.


Welcome back, asshole.

"Thou shalt not kill" is actually better rendered as "Thou shalt do no murder."

They understood the difference between gratuitous murder and necessary killin', in those days.

Posted by: Kim du Toit on November 3, 2003 04:43 PM

Notice that the first commandment does not say "I am the ONLY God, there are no others." It say's "put no other god before Me", which actually implies that there are other gods. I know some may find this hair splitting, but I find it amusing.
Most of those commandments are entirely irrelevant to everyone except believers. "No graven images", "honor the Sabbath", - plus isnt coveting something you do in your mind? Are we to legislate against thought crimes? Coveting is the basis of our economy. And the two useful ones about murder and theft were not originated with Judaism. So for the most part, the commandments are useless except for those who "believe" in this specific version of god. And they make no mention of Christ at all, who is central to christianity. I dont know why the christians do not seem to notice this fact. According to them salvation is not possible by anything other than Christ, so the commandments wont "save" you either.

Posted by: werbinox on November 3, 2003 05:37 PM

Kim's right.

The interesting part is that so many little things, which have proven important, in the Bible have been mistranslated, sometimes on purpose.

There were separate words originally for murder and kill (just as there are now, with completely different meanings). Substitute one for the other, and suddenly you have a lovely zero-tolerance, zero-thinking policy regarding the taking of human life.

But you also have changes elsewhere, like 'thou shalt not suffer a poisoner to live,' and 'thou shalt not suffer a witch to live (courtesy of the King James Bible).' One gives you permission to execute poisoners (or likely, murderers), and the other helped pave the way towards the execution of thousands (or millions, or hundreds, depending on what study you're using) of men, women, and children, for some of the most ridiculous reasons.

When you get down to it, there are countless of ways in which the Bible has been translated, and changed, and tweaked, and 'improved,' and the result is what happens when so many people put so much stock into a bunch of words written down in the name of a god who has a really big ego (see Werbinox's comment above).

Too bad more people don't just think for themselves instead. Logic leads to a list of morals that will lead to a more or less nicely functioning society (with disfunctions based on people who either won't follow those, or came to different conclusions, or are just lazy), and a number of them are found, with exceptions rather like yours, in those Ten Commandments.

Posted by: Veryalda Relisys on November 3, 2003 06:42 PM

What Kim said - ver batim!

Lots of Bible talk going on around the net today! ;)

Posted by: Indigo on November 3, 2003 06:58 PM

My friend Ken Tenore (who was a monk for almost 19 years of his life), told me that the literal translation from the Dead Sea Scrolls is "Do not Murder."

People believed in dragging people off and shooting them before we invented guns.

Posted by: Acidman on November 3, 2003 07:38 PM

At the early age of 22, I found the value in not being too prideful of my material possessions.

My first new car was a beautiful 1971 Cutlass Supreme. 350 with a 4-barrel carberator. Two months later, with the appropriate slurring, a drunk bitch asked me why I was stopped at a green light at 12:15 a.m.

I was too stunned from being hit from behind while stopped at a red traffic light to commit murder. But, I sure wanted to drag that alcoholic slut out of her dinky foreign car (without a workable front end) and wipe the street with her alcohol soaked body.

I found that owning an expensive car was also a hinderance. Even with the trunk smashed almost to the back seat of that still new car, that beautiful car was worth too much to be totaled by the insurance company.

Do not put other gods before me. I learned to not put material possessions before my God.

Posted by: Ms Anna on November 3, 2003 08:45 PM

Heh. "Welcome back, asshole."

This post was good!!! DAMN!

Posted by: sugarmama on November 3, 2003 09:05 PM

I can respect those altered rules.

Posted by: Dawn on November 4, 2003 08:00 AM

Werbinox, the 10 C's preceded Christ by many, many years. You can be atheist, agnostic, whatever you want, but you should shut the fuck up if your comments are based on pure ignorance.

Posted by: Larry on November 4, 2003 11:37 AM

...when I have a garage sale and make $300 selling my junk to strangers for cash, I DO NOT declare that money on my income tax form. That's stealing from the government if you want to get technical about it, but I'll do it and feel totally guilt-free.

It isn't stealing if it isn't theirs to begin with. :)

Posted by: Charles Hueter on November 4, 2003 12:18 PM

"Most of those commandments are entirely irrelevant to everyone except believers. "No graven images", "honor the Sabbath", - plus isnt coveting something you do in your mind?"

Make no graven images: Do not mistake a metaphor or an image for the thing itself. Don't forget that the universe/God in all its complexity is way bigger than any of your ideas of what that is.

Honor the Sabbath: Make a distinction between work and play, between sacred and mundane. If all is mundane where is the sacred, and if all is sacred then nothing is, if you have nothing to compare it to. Take regular time off from doing and making to just be: with nature, with your family, with your thoughts. (Centuries before labor unions, we Jews invented taking one day off a week.)

Posted by: Yehudit on November 4, 2003 12:40 PM

More on coveting:

Posted by: Yehudit on November 4, 2003 12:48 PM

The most amazing thing about this post is that you did not get any proselytizing commenters. When I post anything that questions religion on my blog, I get people who post scripture as a response. Granted, I like the variety. But come on - my post wasn't an invitation for anyone to try to "save" me!

Posted by: sugarmama on November 5, 2003 12:43 PM


The reason I post Scripture on your blog is because you seen more open to the prospect of God's existence.

Rob is pretty hostile to the subject at the present time so I don't push the subject.

Reference your comment "my post wasn't an invitation for anyone to try to 'save' me!"
1) God's commands us (His followers) to be His witnesses. "I believe , therefore I spoke."

2) God has promised :"My Word will go out and not return to Me void." Consequently I expect things to happen when I quote Scripture.

3)Here's another reason I speak: " When I say to a wicked man,'You will surely die,' and you do not warn him or speak out to dissuade him from his evil ways in order to save his life, that wicked man will die for his sin, and I will hold you accountable for his blood. But if you do warn the wicked man and he does not turn from his wickedness or from his evil ways , he will die for his sin; but you will have saved yourself." Ezek. 3:18,19.

"Have I become your enemy because I tell yhour the truth?"

Rob- all these Scriptures are SM's fault, she started it.

SM, if you don't want me quoting Scripture just say "bug off" it's your blog. You are the one who said you'd like to interview Jesus and I'm just giving you what He claims are His thoughts- that's one way to get to know Him.

Posted by: Jim Long on November 6, 2003 09:57 PM

>Thou Shalt Not Kill

We need no molester, dead or live.

Posted by: NO MOLESTER on December 21, 2003 10:38 AM
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