Gut Rumbles

September 05, 2003

celebrate a troll night

It's been a difficult week to decide who was the most obnoxious, feces-dripping, shameless shit-ninny, flying dingbat, asshole troll to visit my site in the last seven days, because I've encountered some real piss-cutters since I came back from Jekyll Island.

But after careful deliberation, I choose pimply-faced, fat, never-fucked RENE as the biggest asshole to comment on my site this week. Her prize-winning submission was THIS ONE:

Does that mamabear have an opinion on everything? I surprised she has time enough away from picking all her scabs.

Hey, Mommabear! Didn't you like that "picking scabs" insult? That one scared the living shit out of ME because I suddenly realized what a sharp intellect I was dealing with. The next thing you know, she'll say you have "cooties." Then you'll REALLY be trashed in the blogosphere.

I am deeply sorry that hyenas such as Rene bray on your doorstep, MammaBear, because you leave better stuff between your shoes when you sit on the toilet than a Rene will ever be. She squats in her mobile home with an overflowing septic tank and really needs to fling shit, like a screeching monkey, at someone. Otherwise, she would have to admit her own pathetc insignificance.

I get trolls like that. I prefer that they attack me rather than my readers. But what the hell. You blog, you get trolls.

I just wonder why ANYBODY wants to be a troll.

Goddam, people! THAT'S the best you can do in life?

What a bore.

Posted by Rene at September 5, 2003 03:24 PM


And have you noticed how all the trolls have such similar email addresses?

It must be the special ones they give out to Masters of Neo-Ludditism.

Posted by: shell on September 5, 2003 11:41 PM

I am on record as the protector of Mammabear's virtue on this site. Give me a city, troll. I'll find you.

Posted by: Velociman on September 6, 2003 12:36 AM

MommaBear really appreciates those who would protect her good name!! She must have missed that pathetic little dropping from Rene...oh, can't see the all the little turds on the forest floor when there are so many tasty nuggets to be found all round. Sounds as though Rene must jealous of someone who has a lot more than a little dropping-sized brain.

Trolls are just a hazard of life to keep us on our toes avoiding their little messes.

Posted by: MommaBear on September 6, 2003 07:57 AM

Avoid 'em? Hah. Wear a pair of big ol' boots and just hose 'em off when you get home. It's a lot less hassle.

Posted by: McGehee on September 6, 2003 08:41 AM

Acidman, as usual, you demonstrate your poor judgement. By far, this is the most borish adolescent arrogant post on your site.

"Hopkins, you fucking dolt. The planet has been warming up since the last Little Ice Age ended in 1750. Until you actually know something, kindly shut your fucking cumdump.
Posted by Eichra Oren at September 5, 2003 11:34 PM""

So stupid is this one, she posted it twice and then pointed out her inept mastery of Internet chat in a third post.

But Mommybear, the hairy fat mammal is still very annoying. Point out one post of hers that contributes anything besides cheap, vulgar profanity. You can't because there isn't any.

Posted by: Rene on September 6, 2003 09:47 AM

Don't underestimate the entertainment value of well placed cheap, vulgar profanity.

Posted by: Graumagus on September 6, 2003 09:55 AM

Here we go with the fat shit again. Like a SKINNY person can't be a psychopath?

Do you know for a FACT the bitch is fat or did you just throw that in for good measure?

Whether she's fat or not is irrelevant. She is, plain and simple, a shit. Whether she's a fat shit remains to be seen. For now, I'll just assume she's just an ignorant, dumb shit.


Posted by: Joni on September 6, 2003 11:01 AM

Someone just shoot RENE and get it over with. The only reason she's throwing out the insults is because she doesn't agree with the policital views. Thats what it all comes down to everytime, politics.

Posted by: Sam on September 6, 2003 11:08 AM

Ready for a little test?

Take a big deep breath. Hold it. Hold it.

I'll tell you when you can exhale.

Hold it.....

Posted by: Patrick on September 6, 2003 11:17 AM

Thought: blogs are like television and radio channels, if you don't like what you see -- change channel.
Question: why do "trolls" insist on going to sites they can't stand, read them, then bitch because they don't like what they see or read.
Solution: don't go there, start your own and post what appeals to your tastes and get on with life.

We already have enough lawyers and religious organizations that like poking their noses in everyones affairs, that we don't need it on a personal level also.

So stop.

Posted by: Wichi Dude on September 6, 2003 12:04 PM

Not all the MB's that appear here are the real thing; several times imposters have usurped that name for vile comments...those of you with intelligence can sort them out and disregard the pathetic trolls' attempts to replicate MB. Can't be done!

Posted by: MommaBear on September 6, 2003 02:07 PM

Poor little Rene. Somebody mentioned some facts, and she/it couldn't refute them, so she/it just called some names and ran like a little shit.

Fuck you, Rene. If you can refute the facts, do so. Until then, shut your fucking cumdump.

Like you've never doubleposted. Arrogant fucking waste of oxygen.

Get the fuck off my internet!

Posted by: Eichra Oren on September 6, 2003 06:51 PM

Eichra Oren is a foul-mouthed gasbag who can hardly construct a sentence. Take away his modem and whataya got? A nother greasy mullet head with an armless T-shirt digging dingle berries out his ass. he don''t know squat ands got no bidness telling anybody what they can and cannot write down on the internet.

So there, fuckwad.

Posted by: Rene on September 6, 2003 07:18 PM

Answer the fucking charges, you cowardly little bag of shit.

Has, or has not, the planet been warming since the end of the last mini Ice Age ended in 1750?

Answer or shut the FUCK up, you pustulent boil on the sphincter of humanity.

Posted by: Eichra Oren on September 6, 2003 11:57 PM

This is actually facinating. The level of prejudiced and stereotypical depictions by the trolls based on this blog's state of origin are astounding.

I think my favorite to this point is " A nother greasy mullet head with an armless T-shirt digging dingle berries out his ass" [grammar and typing errors intact].

Such blatent, anti-southern bigotry, the likes of which I have not seen in a long time. Apparently the preconception that all persons who frequent a "southern blog" are southern as well is as much a false assumption as those driving the hate-filled rants against the blogger himself.

Acidman, this is such a tremendous study of troll behavior, I would just hate it if they all just "went away." On second thought, perhaps not.

Posted by: Mamamontezz on September 7, 2003 05:40 PM
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