Gut Rumbles
 

August 26, 2003

roscoe update

I haven't done one of these in a while but Enquiring Minds might want to know.

I have the eternal semi-boner because of the implants. That problem has caused me a lot of trouble and pain at work, but I am assured that the implants will soften over time and I'll be fine somewhere down the road. In the meantime, I bought 12 pairs of really tight underwear to pin that rascal Roscoe down and keep him from wandering and harming himself. I sometimes find it difficult to walk at work. Let him shift just a little and all of a sudden it feels as if you're feeding beloved Roscoe into a pencil sharpener.

I don't like that. ESPECIALLY because you can't stop whatever you're doing and say, "Excuse me. I simply must adjust my dick RIGHT NOW!!!" Heh. Bet me that I won't if it ever bothers me badly enough. I don't care who is watching.

I still take my pants off as soon as I get home every evening. I've got to let Roscoe BREATHE after 10 hours in a tight pen. The implants give me an erection good enough to screw with right now WITHOUT using the pump. It chafes and hurts in a pair of blue jeans, though. I am endeavoring to persevere until the bionics become comfortable. IT IS NOT comfortable right now and it's been six weeks. A man's dick wasn't meant to be filled full of stiff, plastic tubes.

Okay, maybe you didn't want to know. But, goddam it, you NEED TO!

Comments

Gotta admit that was a little more info than I needed to hear.

But I guess misery (Rosco in this case) loves company, pun intended.

So even tho, I am definitely not equipped with a "Rosco," I sure can appreciate him, it, him, whatever.

Posted by: Laura on August 26, 2003 07:23 PM

You know, reading the bits and parts of this whole "Roscoe" saga in the past couple of days has had me shaking my head and thinking "that poor bastard" more than a few times.
Being female, I can't imagine the discomfort that you've gone through and are still going through. I liken it to the pain I get sometimes, upon hearing about some woman who gave birth to a 15lb baby...you know the pain, girls? The one you get that shoots right up the crotch...accompanied by the obligatory shudder...

Sorry, my turn for TMI...

Seriously though, I hope ol' Roscoe is feeling right as rain soon. Ouchie!

Posted by: Lisa on August 26, 2003 07:32 PM

"Excuse me. I simply must adjust my dick RIGHT NOW!!!"

I don't mean to belittle your discomfort, but that material's pure gold, man. Keep it coming. Your dick may keep you doubled over in agony, but think of sharing your trials and tribulations as just another way of using the ol' unit to bring joy into the world.

Posted by: Aaron on August 26, 2003 09:17 PM

Maybe, you should try a cup.

On the lighter side, try making a bold fashion statement and get yourself a codpiece.

Posted by: ESP on August 27, 2003 12:20 AM

Yeah, a codpiece would be cool, you could get "Bionic Roscoe Restraint Device" engraved on it . All joking aside, that sounds like it hurts like hell. Here's hoping your haft shafts soften up soon man!

Posted by: Graumagus on August 27, 2003 01:35 AM

Just had another thought on the codpiece, every 2 or 3 days you could hammer a dent in it with a ball peen hammer from the inside... so it looks like the bionic roscoe has been making escape attempts.

Posted by: Graumagus on August 27, 2003 01:52 AM

you know it just doesn't seem right chuckling at your discomfort...im so sorry - but as Aaron commented - the Roscoe saga is "pure gold"....that said, i hope he feels better soon

Posted by: Charmed on August 27, 2003 07:26 AM

Not knowing the mechanics of the pump, this may not be workable, but have you tried aiming Roscoe *up*? Standard erections don't respond well to being pushed downwards (in my experience), but up works fine.

Posted by: Jason on August 27, 2003 09:08 AM

Get ya a piece of that lambs wool stuff and pack your Roscoe in it. Will help keep the chaffing to a minimum and make your overall "package" incredibly hard to miss!

Oh, I asked once...will there be photo's??

Posted by: radtec on August 27, 2003 12:40 PM

More than just a little curious I have to admit, I did a little research on bionic Roscoe's on the web. Would like to know what kind of implant you got? Is it the 2 or 3 piece model with a pump, or is it the rod type? Sounds like maybe it is the rod type. Would you consider changing to another design if this discomfort does not go away in time??? Sry to be to prying, but am really curious as I said. When it comes to men's private parts I'm a "been there, seen that" kind of gal with more than my fair share of partners, but never seen nothing like what you've got!!! ;-)

Posted by: Cinders on August 27, 2003 12:45 PM

P.S. - think the codpiece with the ball peen hammer dents idea is a scream! Love It!!!

Posted by: cinders on August 27, 2003 12:47 PM

Are you sure he is ready to talk?

Posted by: Dawn on August 27, 2003 12:57 PM

I always joked that any hammer could become a "ball pain hammer."

Posted by: Jay Solo on August 27, 2003 02:15 PM

I have THE TOP-OF-THE-LINE three-piece unit, complete with pump, reservoir and deflation bar. It is the most technologically-advanced bionic Roscoe money can buy.

But the implants are like a baseball glove that's not broken in yet. They are stiff and not easy to bend.

I am told that they will soften up over time.

Posted by: Acidman on August 27, 2003 04:25 PM

" she urges early on

Posted by: online games on May 22, 2004 10:04 PM
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