Gut Rumbles

August 21, 2003

another new one

I can't help it, this blog hurts my eyes. It's far and away too busy for me.

I know that decorations are nice, but I stick with something I wrote a long time ago on this blog. I am too lazy to link to the post now (I am back in a cat-mode), but I learned it from an English professor in college when I confessed that I wanted to be a writer. He published a lot of stuff in unknown publications and earned about $35 per year from his writing, but HE PUBLISHED! I was in awe of him. He had high hopes for me. He believed that I was "talented."

He gave me these simple rules:

1) Make what you write easy to read. Editors make their living reading ALL DAY LONG. You make what you write a pain in the ass to read, and they won't read it.

2) Keep your pages clean. Double-space everything. Give editors room to "improve" on what you wrote.

3) Number your pages. Even editors become confused sometimes.

I followed those rules and never sold a goddam thing. I wrote advertising copy for a while (I hated it) and I had a column in the local newspaper for 19 weeks (I loved it), then I just quit writing altogether for a while after I was fired for insulting everyone in Effingham Country. Salzburgers just can't take a fucking joke.

I ended up starting this blog and keeping it up for a pretty good while. But I still agree, even in blogdom, with the rules Professor Charles White told me back in 1974.

Make your blog easy to read. Keep your page clean. Make your page easy to follow. Then, provide content.

All of that circus-shit that takes ten minutes to load doesn't attract readers. It may make YOU feel great, because it's SO PRETTY!!!! but that's not what people keep coming back for. I see a lot of really beautiful, well-decorated pages that suck. Web pages remind me of bars I once entertained in. I never liked the coat-and-tie places.

I'm a beer-and-shot guy.

Keep it simple, stupid.


You do have to scroll down a hell of a long ways to get to the meat of the blog.

Come on guys, why do you think you have to screen your comments? Do we look like a bunch of wild men/wimmen that would tear you apart first chance we got?

Uh, don't answer that.

Posted by: Laura on August 21, 2003 10:12 PM

Scroll down? WTF are you talking about?

(Slaps self in head, reminds self of need to check if M$IE is rendering the pages correctly...)

Posted by: Chris Lawrence on August 21, 2003 10:38 PM

Except for the font being a bit large thus needing scrolling, not bad. Not like it has a ton of images, it doesn't. Hey, it's not white lettering on black like I have.:D

Posted by: mog on August 21, 2003 11:06 PM

How did you do that? When I checked last night, you had about 1/3 of the amount of words as you do now...that disappearing act is something. Must something in the water.

Posted by: Laura on August 22, 2003 06:09 AM

Man, that blog is bombardical.

Posted by: daneBramage on August 22, 2003 01:37 PM

Always distrust someone who puts "lord" in his name, unless he's actually a nobleman, or he's a medieval recreationist.

In the latter two cases, distrust them for other reasons, if they're doing this in general public places.

Posted by: Sigivald on August 22, 2003 03:00 PM
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