Gut Rumbles

May 27, 2003


I don't know for sure whether that is a real word or not. If it isn't, it ought to be. I happened to mention on my trip to the mountains that my outlook on most rules was "fungible." I believe we were talking about my lack of a valid Georgia fishing license at the time.

Don asked me what I meant by that, because he was unfamiliar with the word, so I launched into a grand, beer-soaked epistle about Situation Ethics. I have one set of rules that I faithfully follow when I am dealing with people who faithfully follow the same set of rules.

I have an ENTIRELY DIFFERENT set of rules that I play by when dealing with a complete shitass. The only way I can hold my ground with a shitass is to be one myself, and the only way I can BEAT a shitass is to be willing to be a bigger shitass than he is. Hey! I didn't make those rules. The shitass did. If he didn't come out of the blocks being a shitass, I wouldn't have to be one, either.

I see absolute fungibility in most laws passed by our asshat, do-good government.

Take speed limits, for example. I don't care what is posted on a sign. I am going to drive as fast as I think I can get away with. Speed doesn't kill. That blue-haired lady doing 45 MPH in the left lane of the Interstate while everybody else is doing 85 MPH KILLS PEOPLE. I don't, doing 90 when everybody else is doing 85.

Now let's look at the infamous Assault Weapons Ban. I have seldom seen a more dumbass law passed by more dumbassed people. Do you think I'm going to abide by that piece of crap? I see that one as extremely fungible, especially when the people who support it lie about its usefulness and in the same breath admit that it accomplished nothing.

That law is a stepping stone to gun confiscation, and if George Bush renews that Thalidamyde baby, I will sit out the next election. And I will keep my guns, too.

I don't dabble in illegal drugs anymore and haven't for years, but I did in the 1970s and I saw those laws against it as extremely fungible. If I wanted to suck on a doobie in the privacy of my own home and play my guitar in a state of complete stonedness, who the hell was I hurting? MYSELF? I never saw the government as having the duty to protect me from myself.

Too many people BELIEVE THAT SHIT today. Those who blindly accept that piece of absurdity NEVER run out of good ideas for other ways that the government can protect you even more, and your personal freedom dwindles every time they succeed.

Sweet Bejus. I am 51 years old. I had a mama and daddy who raised me. I have two children of my own now. I don't need the fucking government to take care of me. I can do that all by myself.

And any law that says I can't will ALWAYS be "fungible" in my eyes.


I learned fungible and fungibility in accounting. It means things that mix together indistinguishably. For instance, coal in a coal bin, flour, wheat, liquid, cash.

It matters in cost accounting.

The last in first out inventory valuation was invented for coal, specifically, because that was literally how coal went in and was taken out. LIFO was most commonly used, in keeping with coal's fungibility, in accounting for the inventory/production costs involving a fungible component.

Hell, the chamicals you deal with are fungible. So when you throw $1.25 a gallon acid in the holding tank with $1.00 a gallon acid, that fungibility in action, and the beancounters have to decide how to expense the usage of it.

But I digress.

Posted by: Jay Solo on May 27, 2003 05:34 PM


Posted by: Jay Solo on May 27, 2003 05:39 PM

The day the nanny dogooders get their wish and the law is passed to confiscate ALL guns, I will be first in line for the new and burdgeoning black market of wine, whiskey, drugs, guns and cigerattes. Do they REALLY think they are going to take our guns? Are they going to do simultaneous raids on all residences and seize all guns? First of all they have absolutely no idea of how many guns are owned in this United States. I do believe there are more red necks residing in this country than they can ever imagine.
Next, since when was it decided we needed nannies to wipe our asses and our noses?
Oh yeah, let's not forget all sharp knives, swords, bows and crossbows. Makes for silent use. ;?)

....and all that new rope.....

Posted by: quark2 on May 27, 2003 06:04 PM

There are two rules to keep in mind with dealing with a "shitass"

1. Never wrestle with a pig. You'll just get dirty and the pig enjoys it.

2. Never argue with an idiot. They'll drag you down to their level and beat you with experience.

Posted by: Ralph Gizzip on May 27, 2003 09:15 PM

Fungible means easily transported from one place to another. Transferrable or portable.

With personal freedom comes personal responsibility. Keep driving 90 in a 45 zone. Just take your ticket when they give it to you and take it like a man when they lift your license. Ain't no guv'n'ment baby-sitter riding in your backseat makin' sure you don't exceed the speed limit. You can take care of yourself. Most of us do every day. We just don't expect a big pat on the back and an "atta'boy!" when we do.

Posted by: BJK on May 27, 2003 10:34 PM husband agrees with you. He is a police officer, 17 yr veteran, and he will not pull over or ticket for no seatbelt on an adult. Ridiculous law. There is no helmet law here, but he would not ticket for that either if there were.

Posted by: Teresa on May 28, 2003 07:22 PM

Nice comment on the Assault Weapons Ban. By definition an Assault Weapon is either FULLY AUTOMATIC or selectable for FULLY AUTOMATIC as in the M16 A1 or A@ for burst fire. Now since they were banned by the 1968 Gun Control Act ( another piece of useless legislation ), why on God's earth do we have a STUPID, Asshatted, Useless, Ineffective, Additional ban on Semi Automatic weapons! The humorous part of all this is that on the "brady" gun control site they ADMIT an Assault Weapon IS automatic! I also hope that stupidy fails away and is NOT renewed.

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