Gut Rumbles

May 22, 2003

i am opening up

Since I already admitted to the day I shit my pants on the golf course, I'm going to really open up now. You know, I feel a real sense of release, since I keep so many of my real feelings bottled up on this blog. I think that I'm going to let it all hang out now, which I normally never do.

1) I DON'T LIKE BLACK PEOPLE!!! I am a Southern White Man, so I must be a racist. I'll just go ahead and admit it, right here and now.

2) I DON'T LIKE CATS!!! They remind me of why I don't like Black people. It's just something about the way cats walk around with their tails in the air so that they show you their assholes all the time. Al Sharpton does the same thing.

3) I DON'T LIKE WOMEN!!! They remind me of cats, and cats remind me of Black people, and Black people remind me about what a racist I am. I hate them all.

4) I DON'T LIKE SHITTING MY PANTS!!! I did that once as an adult and I didn't like it. Quinton did it all the time when he was a baby, but he had someone else to clean his nasty ass for him. When he comes to my home now, I tell him: "Shit your pants, you live with it. I ain't cleaning it up." He doesn't shit his pants anymore. He trashes his bedroom instead.

5) I DON'T LIKE MONKEYS!!! They fling feces, which reminds me of shitting my pants, which makes me think of cats and makes me hate women and think about Black people, especially Al Sharpton. I feel a lot of hate when that happens.

6) I HATE PEOPLE WITH MONKEYS ON THEIR BLOGS!!! You just shouldn't do that. It makes me think of cats, and you know where I go from there.

Okay, I believe I have opened up enough for one night.


I don't like Crackers. Without cheese, that is. And....without WHINE? Puhleeeeeze! As if that were an option!

Posted by: Da Goddess on May 22, 2003 10:32 PM

Huh. I don't like racists who shit their pants on the golf course.

Posted by: zombyboy on May 22, 2003 11:09 PM

I've never witnessed a man in more dire need of a blowjob in my entire life.

Posted by: margi on May 22, 2003 11:22 PM

Margi, if you're offering...

Posted by: Acidman on May 22, 2003 11:52 PM

*snort* No. Just an observation. Sorry.

Posted by: margi on May 22, 2003 11:54 PM

The question is: If you were being offered a blowjob by a beautiful black lady, would you accept?

Posted by: Bill Dennis on May 23, 2003 01:37 AM

Wow. What a very wrong time to be reading Acidman's blog.

I am speechless. Actually I'm not. But I'm trying to refrain from saying anything.

Posted by: meesh on May 23, 2003 05:27 AM

Okay, Rob you opened up.

Now close it.



Posted by: McGehee on May 23, 2003 11:36 AM

You don't like women? This reminds me of the time you announced that you "prefer little boys over little girls".

Posted by: Jack on May 23, 2003 11:54 AM

I pissed my pants once in the military but only because I was laying on the cold ground on the rifle range and the range sargent wouldn't let me go to the latrine

Posted by: Jason on August 18, 2003 03:31 AM

Hi...I´m just surfed in and want to say hello!
Regards George

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