Gut Rumbles

May 22, 2003

men vs women bloggers

The Tall Bitch Dog, michele conducted some kind of semi-poll on this question the other day, but her poll didn't count because I didn't participate. NOTHING matters unless I am involved.

Here are my own humble observations:

1) Men write better blogs than most women do. Other than guys who blog about their fucking, shit-ass cats and guys with MONKEYS on their page, men generally write better than women do. There are exceptions, but they simply prove the rule. Women don't write many humorous blogs at all. They lack the ability to laugh at themselves. They worry constantly about someone else laughing at them.

2) I once shit my pants on the golf course. I ate a bad breakfast at Shoney's before the round. It wasn't funny at the time, but I damn sure could make a funny blog out of it. A woman would never admit shitting her pants on a golf course to ANYONE. Not even herself.

3) Women are meaner in real life than men, but they don't admit it on blogs. Women are the most vicious, throat-cutting, back-stabbing, sell-you-down-the -river breed of humankind on the face of the planet, but they DENY THE FACTS. They write "sensitive" blogs. They put flowers on their pages and really like having lot's of "skins" (most of which they peeled from ex-husbands and hung on the wall like a throphy). I don't buy that crap. A woman is a dog that bites you after you pet it.

4) Women hawk their sites through boobage. The same ones who brag about their tittles tell me to put a shirt on. They are naturally confused.

5) Women can't leave anything alone. They have this undying need to fuck up "improve" everything around them. They try it with men, they try it with blogs and they do it with credit cards. The idea of improving themselves by stopping that reinvention shit and becoming comfortable with who they are never dawns on them.

That's MY humble opinion.


1. I'm a damn good writer and I know it. I'm also funny at times.
2. If I ever shit my pants, I would blog it. I blogged about dropping my cell phone in the toilet after I took a dump.
3. I don't deny I'm a bitch, but I would never sell a friend down the river. You write more sensitive shit than I do. I don't have skins, but ok - I do change colors a lot.
4. Got me there.
5. I have yet to improve myself in any way, shape or form. I wouldn't even try it on you. I don't own a single credit card.

I'm not tall, either. Or a dog. But when you put tall and dog together, it sounds importans.

Some days I want to kick you in the balls and some days I want to fuck you.

Posted by: michele on May 22, 2003 08:08 PM

Thanks God as a lesbian I don't fit any of those things :-) Well, ok I tend to be too damn nice on my site - but that's a reaction from too damn much rejection in the past few years.

No boobs, no skins, no reonovations, no damn flowers on my site!

Posted by: beth on May 22, 2003 08:43 PM

Michele, I am delighted to know that I keep you off-balance.

And being a Tall Dog is a GOOD thing.

Posted by: Acidman on May 22, 2003 08:50 PM

becoming comfortable with who they are...

Oh, please. This coming from the person who turns to his readership to make decisions that he should/could be making for himself? Nike was right, Rob.




Posted by: Joni on May 22, 2003 08:56 PM

MB writes well when she feels inspired to write anything lengthy; she prefers the reparté style better!

MB must be lucky; she never had an episode to resemble that one on the golf course.

MB is who she is, on and off the blog!

MB doesn't have sufficient boobage to try that one!

Improvements, if any, would be done to improve functionality, not for the sake of change!

Posted by: MommaBear on May 22, 2003 08:57 PM

Ha! I already promised to write about my shit. Probably this weekend.

Posted by: shell on May 22, 2003 09:42 PM

Can't argue with much you've said, Acid.

Just pray that The Mrs. doesn't see this post -- she'll agree with half of it, and flay you alive for the other half.

Just a guess.

Posted by: Kim du Toit on May 22, 2003 09:51 PM

1) That's a load of crap. There are more men who suck out there in the blogosphere than women. Sometimes those monkeys are an improvement. And, I laugh at myself all the damn time. As do most of the women I have met through blogging.

2) When it happens....I'll blog it.

3) You're one of those men who gets pissy at the drop of a hat (or the opening of a bottle of vodka) and shreds other people

4) I got boobs. And, I have no problem with you shirtless. In fact, I took plenty of pics of you sans shirt. (And a couple sans pants.)

5) I'm comfortable with who I am, as are most of the women I know. Credit cards? Don't have a single one. Men? I leave them be. If I didn't like a man for who he already was....I wouldn't like him if he were all that malleable.

Your humble opinion sucks

Posted by: Da Goddess on May 22, 2003 10:41 PM

Damn , Goddess... why don't you just BITE ME? You're acting like I give a shit what you think.

Posted by: Acidman on May 22, 2003 10:52 PM


2. N/A. I haven't pooped in my pants since pre-potty training.


4. TRUE and FALSE. Depends on what woman.

5. TRUE.

Posted by: sugarmama on May 23, 2003 12:42 PM

Somebody's cranky.

P.S. I already bit you.

Posted by: Da Goddess on May 23, 2003 09:19 PM

I don't thnk men write better blogs thou I do think Misha does a better fisk than you, don't play golf, have never shit on a golf course, don't have flowers on my site, don't have skins, don't display boobage, and from what I've read here, think you're a women hating asshole. Hope you share this post with any potential dates, providing they are female, so they don't have to waste their time.

But I will thank you for being such as I found a good blog, Beth's, from this post that I might never have otherwise.

Posted by: mog on June 3, 2003 11:37 PM

OMFG, I just LOVE the MOGster...agree with her and beth...and also thank yall for the link to Beth's blogsite...she's my shero GRRRRRL!

Posted by: Red on August 3, 2003 08:23 PM

Jeeez, I whipped away to Beth's site so damn fast that I almost forgot to add a comment about what MOG pointed out. From what I've observed of the great majority of straight-identified males, most men don't even seem to actually LIKE women, let alone LOVE THEM.

I don't observe that amongst lesbians, in general.

And I'm just stating this as an observation. Most males prefer the company of other males -- most of the time -- and seem to enjoy each other's company, while barely tolerating (to speak nothing of APPRECIATING) female company.

They don't actually seem to appreciate the differences or the similarities.

Posted by: Red on August 3, 2003 08:39 PM

How amusing! Finally someone with my line of thinking...women are vicious. Much more so than men in general ever dreamed of being.

And heck, I'm a girl.

Posted by: anonymous on November 4, 2003 02:25 PM

Cool article!!!

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Posted by: polifoniczne dzwonki motorola on April 4, 2004 11:55 PM

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