Gut Rumbles

May 02, 2003

anger management

I really need to try harder sometimes. I really do. I have a temper.

If I had hit a home run with with a tire tool on a mouthy Black guy's head, in my ex-wife's front yard today, I probably would have fucked up my entire weekend. I am sure glad that I didn't do anything so stupid.

But I am REALLY GLAD that the mouthy asshole stayed on the seat of his backhoe. If he had climbed down, well.... he made a good decision for both of us.

Everything that happened this afternoon just chapped my Cracker ass. I need to stop it.


Dear Acidman :)

For crying out loud!
Men estranged from their children are living at a higher level of stress anyway.
((So do kids away from their Dads, (I know this is what my childhood was like), and believe me Quinton won' t show it now but he is taking all this in, even though he looks all happy. One day you, and he as an adult will sit down and you will both have a big talk, and it will all come out.))
For all of the rubbish they have to go through every single time they see their children.
You, they, are living at a higher lever of stress than the average person, and it is continually there even through the good times, and it will always be there - until you go back to court, and get joint or primary custody!
(It will still be there but to a slightly lesser extent.)
Then your ex is particuarly bitchy.
Then a worker insulted you.
Why doesn't she go out of her way to make it easy for you?
To make it easy for her son to see you.
Why didn't she ask them to stop and take them a coffee knowing this is about the time you are due to arrive?
You know why.
No consideration.
Stop being a martyr!
Your intelligent to think of come backs to your ex.
Think of some, she got the better of you today.
She is building herself up by tearing you down - STILL.
Everytime she does this try to have a come back.
This is why you are probably feeling low.
She took a piece out of you.

Regards, Jenny

Posted by: Jenny on May 2, 2003 11:35 PM

Dear Acidman :)


I just read your answer to my comment in the post below.
I did not see it before I posted above about you going to court again :)
It couldn't be more stressful than what you are going through now?
Most parents go to court numerous times.
Appeals etc.....
I don't like your ex having power over you...
But anyway....
If not 12 than I guess Quinton can decide where he wants to be when he is 16.

Take care of yourself!
And go eat some chocolate for your stress :)

Posted by: Jenny on May 2, 2003 11:44 PM

For the love of God, Jenny -- he still loves her. He's angry. He'll find a "happy place" eventually. You made some great points, but really, a Ranty McRant is sometimes just exactly what the doctor ordered.

Posted by: margi on May 3, 2003 12:20 AM

Hi Margi,

I find it depressing that he apparently still loves her.
She obviously could let go of him very easily.
Maybe he loved what he thought she was.
Which obviously he was mistaken about.
Maybe he is not in love with her still but hurt, and shellshocked.
I'm just searching for ideas here!
As I find it pathetic (but in a sad way not a demeaning way) if Acidman still loves this woman who couldn't care less, and only finds this amusing, and uses it to hurt him.
If she could keep his son from him, and if he could be near death, and she couldn't care less after 10-Years of being his wife.
If she could ring up, and cancel her sons visit on the day he got out of hospital, and not even care enough to visit.
That is not normal.
That is beyond being bitchy.
That's not how a normal person behaves.
That is Cold.
I don't mean to talk about you in the third person there Acidman!
I have worked out how to handle Men if they are bastards, and if I want to play with fire.
If I am nice to them they are selfish emotionally back.
If I am not nice to them but remain withdrawn (I don't step over to being bitchy) they give more.
The same works in reverse for Men with us Women you know.
If you do want her back?
Be nasty to her, and she will run to you.
Be nice, and she will rub your face in it.

Posted by: Jenny on May 3, 2003 01:21 AM

I don't have it in me to fight her. I know a losing battle when I see one. The deck is stacked.

And she still knows what buttons to push on me. I just don't understand why she still does it. She won. I suppose her victory won't be complete until I am dead and she can salt every piece of ground I ever walked.

I don't understand. I really don't.

Posted by: Acidman on May 3, 2003 06:50 AM

There is NO understanding someone who drags a kid into that battle; she just shows she is still an immature little girl by doing that. The further along you progress in your ability to deal with the problems, the more it irks the hell out of her, and she has to strike out once again.

Posted by: MommaBear on May 3, 2003 12:58 PM
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