Gut Rumbles

April 23, 2003

i don't understand

Here are 10 Things I Really Don't Understand

1. Child pornography. A am a kinky and sexually adventurous man, but I have NEVER found children to be anything but kids to me. Who can possibly become sexually aroused at the prospect of diddling with a CHILD? I don't get it.

2. Rap music. That shit just plain sucks, and that's all there is to it. That ain't music. It ain't even good noise.

3. Baggy pants worn with the waistband below your nutsack and your underwear hanging out the top. If I ever see my son dressed that way, I will snatch him bald-headed and shoot his mama. That fashion statement is PROOF that rap music kills brain cells.

4. Vegetarians. There is not another animal on the face of the planet that has canine teeth and does not eat meat. Why do vegans deny what Mother Nature meant for them to be and somehow feel BETTER ABOUT THEMSELVES for being unnatural idiots? Notice to vegans: Give me a steak and stick that tofu up your ass.

5. "Peace Protesters" who throw things at people, riot in the street and set places on fire. How do you protest for PEACE by acting like a war-like savage?

6. The free pass Al Sharpton and Jesse Jackson have always gotten from the press and leftists no matter how many times they fuck up and get caught. The bastards are both crooked as snakes and somebody ought to stand up and say so. Black "leaders," my ass.

7. Soccer. Bejus! That game is more boring than watching grass grow. If women played it nekkid, I might gain some interest, but even then it would be difficult. Soccer sucks.

8. Obvilious drivers who stay puttering along in the left lane of an Interstate Highway while people are passing them on the right. I'll see a bunch of those tomorrow on my way to North Carolina. I should have the right to shoot them and collect a reward.

9. People who advocate gun control laws. It has NEVER reduced crime, it never will and it has failed everywhere it's ever been tried. Goddam. How many times do you have to be wrong before you admit it?

10. Someone who would vote for Hillary Clinton in ANY kind of an election. That woman is worse than her husband and he's a bucket of slime. Congratulations, New York.


Good luck on the drive to NC - hope you like it here.

Posted by: TacJammer on April 23, 2003 08:31 PM

Agree with you about the low slung pants, but just to clarify, that ain't rap music's fault. It's one style that black kids actually lifted from white kids. White kids into skate rock and hardcore started that nonsense in the early 80s (same thing with the boots and hoodies).

P.S. I like rap music, and my pants are firmly belted at my waist whenever worn.

Posted by: Henry on April 23, 2003 10:47 PM

I think you started out very strong, but got a little shaky towards the end:

Point 7: "If women played it nekkid, I might gain some interest, but even then it would be difficult".
You must be very spoilt. Think bicycle kicks
Point 8: So they are being over-cautious. At least it is better than speeding, something we really should be concerned about.

Point 9: If you are using statistics to support you opinion, just remember this;
"There are three kinds of lies: ordinary lies, damned lies, and statistics."
What we DO know is that, theoretically, gun control makes alot of sense. So I really can't understand how you can debunk the anti-gun argument with such conviction.

Nonetheless, your list was very entertaining.

Posted by: Dan on April 24, 2003 12:03 AM

Don't know for sure if this is true, but the most plausible explanation for the "britches-'bout-to-fall-down" phenomenon is that it's an emulation of the "gangsta" genre. A lot of times, when you're booked into a county lockup, they confiscate your belt and shoelaces.

The look has been described as "prison chic."

Stupid is as stupid does...

Posted by: Charles Compton on April 24, 2003 01:06 AM

theoretically & practically gun control makes no kind of sense. The only thing gun control does is make it easier for the criminals ( the ones whom gun control won't affect) & harder for the law abiding ( the ones that would obey gun control laws)
Not even getting into the constitutional & statistical arguments gun control is an abject policy failure. In essence it says that an individual should not be responsible for his own safety, nor trusted with the means to ensure his own safety. The police cannot protect every individual, but every individual can protect himself & try to look out for his friends, family, etc...

So let's try this on for size... if you were a criminal would you choose to break in & attempt to rape & kill the people at a house that you knew had no guns or one that you knew the occupants were armed to the teeth?
Would you attempt to rape the college girl walking to her car at night that you knew was unarmed, or the one who you knew was armed?
Finally if you were in the military & you were ordered to go into a neighborhood & arrest everyone so they could be deported to concentration camps, would you feel like picking the nieghborhood littered with "no guns allowed" signs or the ones with signs that said " you may kill me with my own gun, but you'll have to beat me to death cause it'll damn sure be empty"?

Gun control only works if you A: eliminated all hostile intent which would eliminate the need for gun control & B in addition to A you disarmed the criminals first.
No gun control has ever been designed to accomplish those things, & as a consequence it has been an abject failure.

If you have time go to my blog, kick off your shoes & read a while. If after you've went through my site there's an argument for gun control that I have not adequately addressed then I will be more than happy to correct that & give you full credit for pointing it out.

Posted by: Publicola on April 24, 2003 02:14 AM

I offer Kennesaw, Georgia as an example. In defiance of the gun controllers, the local government passed a law REQUIRING every resident to own a firearm.

They have a VERY low crime rate in Kennesaw.

Posted by: Acidman on April 24, 2003 05:00 AM

"At least they aren't speeding"? No, but they are gumming up the works. It's not some random driver's right to regulate the flow of traffic. If you are in the left lane and aren't passing somebody and cause people to pass you on the right you are contributing to conditions that cause accidents and leads to road rage and you are breaking the law just as much as a speeder. The ticket is, "Failure to keep right." It's such a bad problem in DC that the cops are thinking about enforcing that law even if the guy is speeding and people who are passing him on the right are speeding even more.
Have some common courtesy for other drivers. Just because you can do something doesn't mean you should.

Posted by: Veeshir on April 24, 2003 08:55 AM

I'm with ya on everything 'cept the rap comment. Lyrical, rythmic poetry has a proud tradition. You can't tell me the eternal classic "Rapper's Delight" doesn't get your head bobbing. The stuff you see on the emteevee has nothing to do with rap, just like Justin Timberlake has nothing to do with music.

Posted by: Aaron G. on April 24, 2003 10:52 AM

If you want to hear some good "rap" give a listen to "Amish Paradise" by Al Yankovic

Posted by: Ralph Gizzip on April 24, 2003 11:09 AM

Speeding is dangerous when you're whizzing past everybody else and having to change lanes to do it.

Going too slow is also dangerous because everybody else has to go whizzing past you and they're having to change lanes to do it.

Anybody see a common thread here? It isn't the speed, it's the maneuvering. I remember a study that found that if all the traffic on a freeway signed for 55 was going 80, the real danger point would be when they encountered somebody doing "only" 55.

You kinda have to think things through sometimes, y'know?

Posted by: Kevin McGehee on April 24, 2003 02:32 PM

It seems to me that there was a study back in the mid 80's that said nearly 70% of all multiple vehicle accidents involved someone going 5 or more miles per hour Below the speed limit. Naturally I only got to hear that on the news once. The go slow lobby is just too strong.
Sorry that I can't recall the source of the report.

Posted by: LibertyBob on April 24, 2003 04:55 PM


It seems I was labouring under a misconception! I come from Australia, where the right lane is designated the 'fast lane' (we drive on the left hand side of the road). I withdraw my objections to point 8.

Posted by: Dan on April 24, 2003 08:32 PM

I'd say a big "me neither" or else "don't know anything about that" to everything except 7 - Soccer: it's not THAT bad.
Though it's not that great either. I'd be unlikely to watch it unless I was really short of other things to do. Apart from World Cups. They're fun.
Now if you want great, that's Rugby Union, the REAL football.

Posted by: John F on April 25, 2003 05:41 AM

Great list. According to every CJ professor I have had to date, the low slung pants thing started in prison, and by doing that it stated that you were someone's bitch, and were not to be fucked by anyone but that person. Hope all you gangsta wannabee's enjoy that look!

Posted by: Frank on April 25, 2003 07:43 PM

A coward mistakes oppression for peace.

Posted by: GrubbRobinson Josh on May 3, 2004 01:21 PM
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