Gut Rumbles

April 22, 2003

bore blogging again

* I have broken my nose, my left hand and my left elbow. All three hurt like hell but the hand hurt the worst.

* I have saved three people from drowning. One of them almost drowned me.

* I have written over 100 songs. Most of them suck, but I heard that one of my songs is being played in Seattle, Washington now. I think that's cool.

* I once had a Fu-Manchu moustache and hair halfway down my back. I refereed little league football games at the time.

* I had a dog named "Wiggles" that could put a whole Krystal hamburger in his mouth, chew it, swallow the burger and spit out the pickle every time.

* I bought my dog a $10 sofa from the Goodwill Store. He wasn't allowed to get on MY couch, but nobody was allowed to get on HIS couch, either. He liked that couch.

* I lost my virginity when I was 16 years old, on Valentine's Day. I was really surprised that I didn't feel like a totally different person after that.

* My favorite sport is football. When I played, I was a maniac. Now I just act like a maniac when I watch the game on television. I still have dreams about playing that game.

* I once was a very good golfer. I broke 80 almost every time I played, and I played two or three times every week. But I haven't touched a club in almost two years now, except for walking through my house with a five-iron last night.

* I've known the One True Love of my life. She shit all over me.

* I like kids, but I prefer little boys over little girls. I understand what makes little boys tick. I'll NEVER understand women.

* I buy guitars just because I like them. I own seven. I usually play only three of them on a regular basis, and the others just stay in their cases. I'll buy more, eventually. They may stay in THEIR cases, too. I just like guitars.

* The happiest day of my life was not as good as the saddest day of my life was bad. I am an emotional guy. I really should be taking Xanax.

* I once topped out the speedometer on a 1990 Eagle Talon on Interstate 16 on the way back from the Atlanta airport. I hit 140 miles an hour. It was like flying.

* I never smoked a cigarette until I was 20 years old. I smoked marijuana when I was 18.

* I've been to jail once. I didn't like it.

* I've had two women in my bed at the same time. I DID like that.

* I have voted in every election since I was old enough to vote.

* I have five really good friends. I once had six, but Steve died. I am a lucky man.

* Did I mention that I was bored?


Most I ever did on public roads was 165 in the Supra. It would have pulled more, but I started having visions of some deer popping out in front of me (middle of the night).

Got it up to 190 on a track, though. :)

Mmm. Speedy cars.

Posted by: Mr. Lion on April 22, 2003 07:37 PM

95, briefly, on her motorcycle was enough for MB !! Seeing the asphalt that close was the problem.

Posted by: MommaBear on April 22, 2003 08:21 PM

Did 185 breaking in brake pads at Sebring as crew.
That's NOT as fast as 145 on a bike on a two-lane road with trees. For sure.

Posted by: Dan Pursel on April 22, 2003 09:25 PM

Got me by a few MPH Acidman. Only been up to 135. It was in a Z28 Camero streaking thru the night on US-20 in the high Idaho desert. I miss that car.

Posted by: Bob on April 22, 2003 09:40 PM

You all have me beat. The most I ever did was 100, in my old "held together with baling wire" 1969 Nova, first car, on an open stretch of route 44 where it goes from Carver into Middleboro.

I always feel a little funny about that, as a few years later my mother's cousin's wife and son were killed at the next set of lights from there, by a tractor trailer that was going fast and didn't stop for the light. After that, and forever since, they've cracked down on that road, and done stuff like overlapping reds and long yellows at the lights.

Anyway, it was worse that I hit 90-95 on little back roads a few times. I think I had a death wish or something.

Posted by: Jay Solo on April 22, 2003 10:39 PM

Lol, got me beat also but my 104 was in an FORD XLT VAN! A beautiful Saturday afternoon in high school, best friend by my side heading for some mischief.

Posted by: tim on April 23, 2003 09:17 AM

I was in a 15-year old Ford Orion that was going 135, while being chased by a BMW 530i quite a bit less rusty (never pick a fight with someone who can call for backup on their cell phone).

I don't ever want to go that fast again, unless it's something that's meant to go that fast. The fastest I've gone myself would be around 110 or so.

Posted by: Sam on April 23, 2003 06:12 PM

150 in my old man's 2-year-old 1954 Buick Special. He'd have shit bricks if he knew.

Posted by: Larry on April 23, 2003 07:42 PM

In high school me and some friends of mine went from Waycross, GA to Fernandina Beach FL in a '73 Trans Am with a 455SD under the hood in 35 minutes. I was not driving but it was white knuckle just the same. Plus it was on old US 1 into Folkston over to Kingston and old US 17 to Yulee, FL and A1A. At 60 mph this was an hour and a half drive app 70 miles.

My girlfriend tried to catch me in one of those woman traps by asking, "What was the best orgasm you ever had?" I replied the next one and I ain't lying.

God loves "good" rock 'n roll!

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